Remnants of Another Life
by RT4ever
Summary: Starts from the pilot, Max wakes up from a dream after finding out Theo has died. ML. DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE OKAY WITH IT BEING INCOMPLETE.
1. Max's Room

Starts from the pilot, Max wakes up from a dream after finding out Theo has died.

Okay so the start of another story since "A Single Night" has been finished and yes it is finished. That story is totally resolved and there will be no sequels, there might however be an epilogue to "Duck" because huntress k mentioned that there should be a sequel and I think there might actually be more of that story that should probably be resolved.

Okay so this story goes all the way back to the beginning of Max and Logan, it's starting in the early morning hours after she leaves Logan's apartment for the second time and after she finds out Theo has died. I don't really know how this is going to work out, the characters from the pilot are very different than the characters they quickly evolved into. Logan didn't just bend after he was shot, he broke, but that caused him to morph into a new person. Max was also really different, she cared even though she didn't want to, but absolutely nowhere near how deeply she ended up caring, she also couldn't show weakness at all, barely even to herself. Or at least those are my opinions.

Okay I don't know what else to say…Do me a favor though, if you do read this and find after a few chapters that it's not really working for you, leave a quick reply because I'm not too sure about this story.

Next topic of business, I know I've been posting a lot lately (and seriously that **is **a reason to not post after every chapter), I explained the dvds caused a slight obsession with the show and once I have an idea in my head, I generally will write all that is floating around in my head. So if you're reading this story and either of my other 2 when you do reply to one, type in 3 or "O" or "M.O." so I know that you're reading the other ones too. I assume when you say anything it means I'm not doing a completely horrible job since you're still reading.

Oh and if anyone's still reading "Omens" that would be really nice to know because that story isn't all written out for chapters like this and "Moving On" so it's not getting a new chapter until I know someone is out there reading it.

Haha and I made my author's not longer than the chapter itself…Okay I also promise no more author's notes unless someone asks a question that I don't think will give the story away. Thanks for reading!

* * *

**Remnants of Another Life**

She woke up gasping, _Logan _that was the only thought on her mind. She took a few deep breaths and looked around her room, for some reason it felt different, _she felt different_.

She threw off the covers and shook her head, she'd been an idiot to try to sleep after finding out Theo was dead. Her bike just hadn't been working to clear her mind, she'd just been focused on how Theo didn't die because of his illness, he'd been murdered. Someone had killed her friend, someone had killed Omar's father, Jacinta's husband. She was letting them get away with it just like she let Lydecker get away with killing Eva. _Why had she gotten rid of Lydia, but she wouldn't get rid of Sonrisa?_

She rubbed her arms and trying to get rid of the feeling of Logan's arms around her, she didn't know if the feeling was from her dream or last night, she rubbed them harder trying to get rid of wanting his arms around her.

Why had she dreamed of him?

What had she dreamed?

She tried to focus, tried to think back to her dream, but she couldn't remember anything, just a feeling, just Logan.

She took another deep breath as she tried to ignore the emotions she could barely identify. Warmth, affection, fear, anger, _need_…God the need was overwhelming…Then a word came to her as she looked out the window, family.

"You're my family"

She heard her own voice, it almost felt like he was next to her.

A slight shiver traced her body. She brushed it off, she was just cold, even a girl who could survive in sub-zero weather could get cold.

"Might as well get dressed" she said aloud to the empty room.

She'd just picked up the light blue shirt when she froze and more of her dream came back to her.

Logan lying in the middle of the street, sounds of weapons firing.

She didn't gasp, she just stopped breathing for a moment. She looked out the window, it was still dark. In her dream he'd been in the daylight and no daylight had passed since the time she left him, she knew he was still safe.

"This is stupid" she spoke to herself again, maybe if she actually heard the words said aloud she'd drop the black shirt she'd just picked up instead.

* * *

Okay I'm hoping by reuploading this chapter that the link to the other chapters will appear, I gave it 24 hours, I don't know why it isn't liking me. If it doesn't work then you can change the url yourself, by just putting in 2, where the last1 is, the menu for the chapters comes up for chapters 2 and 3, just not one. I'm sorry for the trouble. 


	2. Logan's Apartment

Logan's Apartment:

"You're gonna get yourself killed…You're aware of that right?"

He turned and smiled from behind the counter, he took a sip of coffee before he spoke, "I need to get you a key."

"I don't plan on coming back, so it's not necessary." She ignored his outfit, tried to pretend that the dark shirt and khakis weren't eerily similar to the ones she had seen from afar in her dream.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

"If I'm going to be saving your life today it's the least you can do."

In his defense he didn't gloat, he just grabbed a mug, "How do you take it?"

She smiled, "You tell me, you seem to know so much about me" she wondered how he would make her coffee, most likely black like her outfit.

He surprised her though, 2 spoons of sugar and milk, "Life's bitter enough as it is without your coffee being that way." he explained handing it to her.

She took a seat at the counter and took a sip, trying to hide her obvious enjoyment from the best cup of coffee she'd had in…wow she couldn't remember the last time she'd had coffee better than his. Probably because of the fact that this was real coffee.

"So what made you change your mind?"

She lied, after all it was what she did best, at least this was only a halfway lie, "Guy killed my friend, not the kinda thing I can let go."

His face fell slightly in pain, "Theo?"

She nodded, only slightly amazed he'd remembered the name.

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged her shoulders, "It happens. So how do you want to do this?"


	3. Jam Pony

Jam Pony:

She arrived at work a little late, but none worse for the wear.

"Oh, oh. Lovely of you to join us. Here, I have a hot run to 842 Beulah. You can tell your pal, Theo, he just got himself fired, all right? Not that he cares, but, you know...his wife and kid might."

"Theo's dead" she bit out, that shut Normal up quick, but putting Normal in his place did nothing for Max today.

Package in hand she started to walk to her locker to throw her things in, but paused to look up at the tv, almost as if she was expecting something.

"The milk shortage that's lasted for the last 3 weeks is expected to come to an end by this weekend."

She gave a small smile.

"Yo Max, what happened to Theo." Sketch came crashing into her.

Max tried to hide her pain about Theo, "That Eyes Only hack about the meds? Turns out he was right."

"Aww shit."

"Max that's a hot run!" Normal's voice called out.

"Gotta blaze" she said taking off, not really caring about Normal's words, but wanting to escape the pain of thinking of Theo and the accompanying thoughts of Logan.


	4. Stalker

"Max your stalker is back!" Normal called out to her as she walked in the building some three hours later, Normal had kept her in the field.

She saw Logan grimace as he stood to walk over to her.

She smiled with attitude as he approached, "Let me remind you of your own words, nervous, uncomfortable and creeped out. You deserve that title. Why are you here?"

"You left before I could thank you."

"Don't worry, that statue of Bast was more than enough of a thank you."

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips, "How much did you fence it for?"

"A couple of bucks" she said nonchalantly

"Have dinner with me tonight"

"So you can do the whole gotta save the world speech again? I don't think so. This was a one time deal." She said softly.

"Just dinner, a thank you. Let me show you I'm really not a half bad cook."

"No guilt trips?"

"Not tonight."

"Okay."

"Around 8?" he said getting ready to walk away.

She nodded

He was walking away when he stopped and turned, "Try the door this time."


	5. A date?

"You have a date tonight?" Kendra asked walking into the room

"No, why do you say that?" Max turned from her closet looking slightly frazzled.

She laughed, "Max everything you own is on this bed."

She sighed as she looked down at her bed, "I hate everything I own."

"So who is this guy?" Kendra asked pushing away clothing to find a corner of Max's bed.

"Just a guy" she said shrugging her shoulders and glancing down at the bed.

"Max, I've never seen you do this for any guy. Hell you don't even do this for me or Cindy."

"He's just this guy I met and ugh"

"Ugh?" Kendra laughed, "That tells me nothing, besides from you've got it bad."

Max shoved her clothing out of the way and sat down, she needed girl talk as much as she hated to admit it, "I had this dream about him last night."

"Oooh" Kendra leaned over, "Was it good?"

She shook her head and laughed at her sex crazed roommate, "Not that kind of dream."

She pouted, "So then what kind was it?"

Max sighed again, "I don't know. It was weird, I don't really remember it…More feelings."

"So what were you feeling?" Kendra asked trying to keep her mind from straying to the types of feelings she normally dreamed of.

Max looked over, her eyes large, "This sense of fear, but that made sense because I knew he was going to do something stupid today." she paused for a moment before continuing, "It was just this sense of warmth and need and family?"

"Family?" Kendra looked more than a little perplexed, which matched Max's own look to that word.

"Yea" she shook her head, "I don't know…God it was just this sense of need. Like I wanted him to be everything. There was this point where he smiled at me today and it'd felt like I'd seen that smile millions of times, like that was my smile."

"Oh you got is bad" Kendra said standing up and laughing.

"No, I don't!" Max fought it, "He's this cocky, arrogant, selfish, self-righteous fool."

Kendra watched Max rise up as she spoke and then looked her in the eyes, "But…"

"But I feel like there's more that I'm not seeing." she confessed

Kendra smiled, "Let's get you dressed. Where are you going?" She said as she started rifling through Max's pile.

"His apartment."

She laughed and moved over to Max's dresser, "See now that's why you were having a problem getting dressed."

"That's my underwear drawer." she said confused as Kendra pulled open the top drawer.

"I know" she said with a wicked grin.


	6. Using the door

Max pulled down her shirt after she rang the doorbell, suddenly self-conscious of the skin she was showing. It was barely anything, an inch of skin between the maroon top and the black pants, but suddenly she felt naked. She blamed what lay underneath her clothing, the skimpy black lace.

_"I can't wear those." _

_"Why not?" Kendra said holding the bra and panty. _

_"Nick gave them to me." Max said thinking back to a heat induced hookup from almost a year ago. _

_"Yea and if I recall correctly, they're the reason you broke up with him. He never even saw them on you." _

_"But.." _

_"But nothing, trust me, you'll thank me tomorrow." she said throwing them at Max. _

"You actually came" he said opening the door and she'd noticed he'd changed too. Black pants and an ash blue button down.

"You did invite me didn't you?" She looked up puzzled.

"Yea, I just wasn't sure if you'd actually come or not."

"Please tell me you still cooked." she flashed a smile

He laughed and stepped back so she could finally walk inside, "Chilean Sea Bass sound okay?"

She nodded

"I actually have to put it in the oven. It only takes fifteen minutes; I didn't want it to be dried out or cold in case you were late." He said walking into the kitchen.

She sat down at the counter and watched him move about the kitchen with ease.

"Why don't you pour yourself a glass?" He said nodding at the bottle of wine resting on the counter with two glasses.

She grabbed the bottle suddenly thankful for something to do and realized she'd have to open it with the corkscrew waiting nearby. "I get cork in the bottle" she said slightly girly, looking up at him after a moment of thinking about it.

He laughed as he walked over to her, "You're kidding right?" _This graceful, agile cat bugler gets cork in the bottle?_

She smiled as he took the wine from her and started to open it, "Patience isn't one of my strong suits."

"Good to know" he said nodding and still standing before her he reached past and grabbed the glasses.

She tried to ignore his scent, it was more than just the expensive cologne and probably even overpriced soap and shampoo, it was this hauntingly familiar scent of him that remained beneath it. "Thanks" she said as he handed her a glass.

He was standing so close to her, she was having trouble focusing. He seemed to remain unnerved. His eyes studying her.

She raised the glass up and took a sip, hoping she was keeping up her façade of being unaffected. "Not bad."

"Pre-pulse, '95" it sounded almost out of habit. He carried the bottle over to the table and then moved back into the kitchen area.

"So why do you do all of this underground stuff?"

"I thought we weren't discussing work?" he asked confused.

"We aren't discussing me working for you." she clarified

"Ah" he said with a nod of his head and took a sip, "Told you trust fund kid."

"Why underground?"

He smiled, "I pissed off too many people when they knew who I was. Had to make the switch. I still freelance with less controversial pieces."

She nodded again and took another sip, she'd never noticed how loud silence was before. She normally liked it when they didn't talk.

"So you're at Jam Pony because they don't check out your resume too thoroughly and you can move around the city freely?" he pondered

"No, I'm there for Normal's charming company" her sarcastic wit was able to push her nerves to the side for the moment.

He looked at her thoughtfully, "You need to watch out for him, he'll sell you out in a heartbeat."

"I know."

"Does anyone else know…"

Another sip, "No, personally I'm amazed I'm still in Seattle now that you know. Luckily I know you're not short of cash and want my skills for your own use."

Another smile crossed his face, slightly different though; it made her feel like the temperature in the room had just been raised ten degrees. "I won't betray you, Max. You're secret is safe with me."

_Change the subject,_ her inner voice called out, "So where'd you learn to cook?"

"My mom, I think she was the only one in our neighborhood that ever entered the kitchen to do more than just to berate the caterers. I used to sit up on the counter and she'd give me odd jobs to do."

"No siblings"

"Just me and my parents," he smiled and added, "I was a Mama's boy."

"Really?" she asked with a smile and a tilt of her head, amused and intrigued by the thought of that.

He laughed, "Really."

The timer went off and he turned, she watched him as he removed the pan from the oven, turned off everything that was being kept warm on the stove and arranged the food on their plates with an artistry instead of the normal pile on routine that she was so fond of.

"Can you grab my glass?" He asked as he started to walk to the table, plates in hand.

"Sure"


	7. Tension

Dinner had been slow, conversation lacking, bad questions, short answers from both their sides. There was just this tension between them that made it hard for Max to savor his meal, which otherwise would have probably made her cry from the perfect blend of tastes.

He carried their dishes over to the sink when they were done; she'd followed with their wine glasses. She sat once more behind the counter, slowly sipping.

"Coffee? Espresso?" he asked before walking around the island.

"I'm good."

"I picked up a chocolate torte."

She shook her head, "I'm good."

He was standing before her again as he went to take his wine glass, but then he stopped and leaned in. He kissed her, an incredibly gentle slow kiss, just a meeting of the lips, his gaze remained down as he looked into her eyes, "I've wanted to do that since I met you."

"So why didn't you?" she asked, the whole situation so surreal, almost as if she was watching it happen to someone else.

"I was afraid, I'd be the one going out the window." he smiled.

"Are you that afraid of me?" she was back in the real, all of her fears about being different, about not being accepted…

"Confused is more like it. It's kind of a nice change." he took her glass and placed it on the counter and then leaned in again, his kiss still gentle but asking more of her.

She wound her arms around him and felt her dream coursing through her, she belonged here, in his arms for the first time ever she belonged.


	8. This is going to be interesting

"What?" she asked as he looked at her.

He smiled, looking down at her, her hair fanned out across his pillow, "I know you won't throw me out of a window for kissing you, but now here comes the tricky thing, how to sleep. You look like you like your space."

She laughed, "I do like my space."

"Okay" he said with a nod and rolled over onto the next pillow. He chuckled as he looked up at the ceiling.

"Why are you laughing?"

He rolled over to face her, "I don't know, this is going to be interesting though." He rolled onto his stomach.

She did the same, her eyes for once not seeking refuge from a man's gaze. She watched as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. She suddenly realized that she wouldn't have minded too horribly if he'd pulled her in close afterwards.

-

She woke up and smiled as she saw his face, boyish with sleep in front of her. He'd moved a hand onto her back as he slept as if to make sure she remained with him. She kept her sigh inside as she realized how perfect this felt.

_This moment was perfect._ She didn't know about them though, they were shaky, as if there were an integral piece missing from the structure.

She tried to ignore all of tha, that fleeting realization that this was perfection was pushed away. _He was just another guy. _She had to remember that, she didn't have the kind of life were feelings could survive and flourish. Anyway she'd already been in Seattle too long, she couldn't risk something that bound her here.

She slid out from underneath his arm and released a shaky breath. She looked around the room for what clothing of hers had actually managed to stay on long enough to make it into his bedroom.

This is definitely not what she had planned for the night. _Kenda will be pleased _she thought as she slid her shirt back on in the kitchen.


	9. Another Meeting

He appeared in Crash two nights later as she took a sip from her glass. He smiled walking towards her. "Hey" was all he said.

"Hey" she said back.

"It's impolite to not say goodbye" he chastised

"You were sleeping." she reminded him

"You could have woken me or at least left a number."

"You know how to find me."

He smiled, "Yea, but I'm trying to avoid that whole stalker thing."

"Sorry" she smiled back, but didn't really mean it.

He let out an uneven breath, it was the most unnerved she'd seen him, "Game of pool?"

"Sure" she said leading the way.

-

She should have expected him to be good, she thought as he sunk the nine ball in. _Never let him break again, _she told to herself. She had just wanted him to feel like he'd done something and he'd done something alright, while he'd messed up 4 balls in, he'd managed to sink every remaining one after she'd finally missed her shot.

"Holy shit" Original Cindy declared having watching the final few shots, "You beat Max, no one ever beats Max, unless the girl's playing with a handicap."

He looked up and laughed, "Did you let me win? To keep my delicate male ego intact?"

She and Cindy laughed together, "Male egos are Max's favorite things to break" Cindy declared with a shake of her head.

Max nodded in agreement.

"We need a pitcher of beer. That took a lot out of me" he said with a smile.

"We're having a rematch when you come back." Max yelled out.

"Oh no, I'm going out on top." he said turning and smiling.

"He's cute, for a guy that is." Cindy's eyes sought out Max's evasive ones.

"He's not bad." she said rather nonchalantly

"You hit it?" Cindy asked with raised eyebrows.

"Might have." she said with a cocky grin, he was cute, might as well show him off.

"Ooh girl so much better than Darren."

"Ugh, you had to say that name?"

"He was the last, had to make the comparison. Course there is no comparing the two. This boy is fine and loaded."

"And damn good in the sack." she laughed, still trying to put off the uneasy feeling she felt between them.


	10. Pretty Decent

Later that night at Crash

"I'm good" he said raising a hand as she went to refill his glass.

She frowned

"I have to drive home" he laughed

Her eyes grew serious, "No you don't. My apartment's just a few blocks."

A smile was all he said in return.

She went to refill his glass and he once more raised his hand.

"I like my senses intact."

She nodded, her mouth slightly opened at the thought of what lay ahead.

His thoughts mirrored hers, "Ready to go?"

She nodded, "Let me go say goodbye"

-

She walked out from her shower in a robe to find him dressed, sipping a cup of coffee while looking out the window.

"Definitely not the penthouse view"

He laughed and turned at her words.

She smiled to herself as she watched him appreciate her freshly showered appearance and walked over to the coffee pot. She poured herself a cup and took a sip, she turned back in surprise, "This is actually almost decent."

He laughed, "Considering I tasted what it started out like, I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"You should" she laughed sending tiny droplets of water flying. "How are you awake this early?"

"Your bed got lonely without you," then smiled brightly " and you have decently loud pipes."

She laughed, "First one in the building to run the water always makes a ridiculous amount of noise."

"How are you people awake?" Kendra came stumbling out of her room, she looked at the clock, "It's 7am"

"Sorry" they apologized in unison.

She groaned as she poured her coffee and then sighed as she took a sip, "This is actually"

"Pretty decent?" Max nodded in agreement, "Meet Chef Cale, culinary genius."

Kendra finally turned to look at Logan and her eyes widened in approval, then she turned to Max, "How are you people not sleep deprived? Don't tell me you finally found another who thrives on lack of sleep Max?"

"We slept" Max responded innocently

Kendra laughed as she took her coffee cup and started back to her room, "It was nice to meet you…Cale?" Kendra looked puzzled

Logan laughed and walked forward with an extended hand, "Logan Cale"

She took it, "Kendra"

"Sorry about waking you."

"You're forgiven because of the coffee." she shuffled back into her room

-

"Oh he is beautiful." Kendra said as Max walked into the apartment hours later

Max laughed as she took off her jacket, "Yea, he's not too shabby is he."

"Shabby would definitely not be the word to describe the sounds coming out of your room last night."

Max's face scrunched up in embarrassment.

"Twice if I'm not mistaken."

Max laughed as she flopped on the couch, "You came home late."

"Oh," she sighed in envy, "Max try to keep this one…Cuddle if you have to."


	11. Not Giving Up

"You're back" Normal said on a sigh looking up to see Logan

"I'm back." Logan said slightly grimacing that he had once more been reduced to going to Max's job

Luckily at that moment Max walked in, unlucky for them that Normal noticed before Logan did, "Max this is not a pickup bar, you and your boyfriend need to take it somewhere else and on your own time!"

Logan turned and winced, knowing she wouldn't appreciate this being made so public.

Original Cindy laughed next to Max "Please Normal, who you kiddin, you're just sad it ain't you. Good to see you again Logan" she nodded as she walked back towards the vending machines.

"Okay so once more with the stalker" Max said softly as he fell into step with her as she continued on to her locker.

"Sorry, still don't have your number though and waiting outside your door wasn't going to get rid of my title any quicker."

"Well waiting outside instead of breaking in would have been an improvement." She said opening her locker.

"I was just returning the favor when I did that" he said with a shake of his head.

"So have you told me why you're here?"

"I was in the area, it's around lunchtime and I was just hoping you were free. Or if worse came to worse and you weren't here then I could buy your number off your boss."

"I told Original Cindy I'd eat lunch with her." she tried to put him off

He looked over at the tables and saw Original Cindy talking to Sketch and Herbal, "It looks like she has other friends to keep her company"

She sat down straddling the bench and looked at him as she went through her bag. "I already have my lunch." she said lifting up a wrapped sandwich, she and Cindy had taken their lunches with them today hoping it would stay nice enough to eat outside, but as usual Seattle had other ideas.

He sat down across from her and she once more tried to ignore his scent and the whole straddling of the bench wasn't doing anything to keep her mind off of sex, which seemed to be all she could manage thinking about when Logan was near. "What is it?"

Max wracked her brain trying to think of some expensive, exotic shit that Sketch and OC would come up with, but thinking seemed to be beyond her today, "PB and J"

He nodded, "Yea I can see why you'd pass up homemade tortellini with this creamy pesto sauce for that." He smiled "There's a great little Italian place not too far from here."

" La Spezia's"

"You've been there?"

"A couple of times." The place was a treat that she and Cindy would occasionally allow themselves. She was actually impressed Logan went somewhere like that, it was just good food, not expensive gourmet fare.

"So PB and J or tiramisu?"

Max suddenly wondered if she was in heat, by the way she was watching his lips move; all she could do was think about how his lips had trailed across her body two nights earlier. It took her a moment to remember that she'd suffered through that bitch only two weeks ago, this whole flushed thing that was going on now was all Logan's doing and no Manticore involved whatsoever.

He smiled once, "Come on Max what do you say?"

_Say no!_ The voice inside her called out, "Yea why not"_ dammit,_ she cursed, how had those words come out of her mouth?

"Great car's right out front."

-o-o-o-o-o-

Food had once again not been as tempting as usual because of Logan's presence across the table.

"I wouldn't have figured you for a picky eater." He said nodding at her moving her food around aimlessly with her fork.

"I had a big breakfast." she lied, and then proceeded to spear a tortellini with a little too much zeal as she thought about how easy it would be slide her foot across the table and make it impossible for him to leave.

His eyes connected with hers at that moment and he saw her hunger, it awakened his own even further, "How upset would he be if you just didn't go back?"

She was about to say she didn't care, but she had a feeling she'd been pushing it lately and she needed the job, "Probably shouldn't risk it."

He shook his head and didn't say anything for a moment, then looked across at her again, "You are definitely unlike any other female I've ever met."

She smiled, "I'm one of like 23, so that's not too surprising and probably only one of like 7 who are out in the real world."

"I still have a feeling you're pretty unique even compared to your siblings. So do I get your number after lunch today or do I have to keep showing up at your place of employment?"

"I'll think about it" she smiled taking a bite of her food.


	12. Lost In The Woods

Just over a month in…

She knocked and waited, she hated waiting. She had a key in her pocket that she could use, but didn't. He'd given it to her one day two weeks ago when she was supposed to be meeting him at his place, but he'd gotten tied up with an informant and ending up being a half hour late. He'd gotten off the elevator to find her sitting next to his door looking pretty pissed.

"Sorry" he grimaced seeing her face.

She shook her head as she stood, she couldn't believe she'd even stuck around longer than it took for her to realize that he wasn't inside.

"_My cell phone died halfway through my day and my meeting ran over." He said standing to the side after opening the door. _

She remained silent as she walked in.

"I did offer to give you a key." he pointed out following her.

"We had plans." was all she said, it wasn't as if she needed a key, should could have been in his apartment in less than 30 seconds if she had wanted to.

"Look, I'm here now aren't I? I'm sorry, but this is going to happen, it's just part of who I am."

She shook her head, "Just feed me okay."

"I really am sorry Max" he once more apologized.

She'd found the key on her key chain the next morning when she'd gone to open up her own apartment. They'd never discussed it though.

"Hey" he said opening the door and leaning in to kiss her. "You're early"

"Yea Normal for once didn't give me a package in the last 2 seconds of work."

"Is he feeling okay?" Logan joked

She shook her head and grinned, "I should be so lucky. So what was so important it couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

"I found something on one of your siblings."

His words shocked her, they'd never mentioned her family after that second night. She hadn't known he was even looking. "I thought we decided no quid pro quo?"

"This isn't about that, even if it was you already saved my ass once, I owe you."

"No you don't" she pushed away the memory of that morning, it still left her freaked out and it took a lot to freak her out.

"Come on, don't you want to know what I found out?" he tempted

_Curiosity killed the cat Max,_ a little voice inside of her called out. "It would be rude of me not to see what you found, since you went through all the trouble."

She followed him over to his office area and he grabbed a folder that had been waiting on his desk and handed it to her.

Inside was a picture of Zack, she whispered his name softly.

"ID-ed as Michael Hanover. Booked for armed robbery nine years ago. He escaped custody after four hours. Hasn't been seen or heard from since."

"I always knew he escaped." she said looking up into Logan's eyes. "Thank you."

"I'll keep looking Max, I'll help you find the rest of your family. No quid pro quo necessary."

She shook her head and put down the file, "No thanks."

"Why not? You miss them." He questioned softly

She looked down at the file resting on the desk "What do they say when you're lost in the woods?" she asked looking up, not that she would ever get lost in the woods.

He looked at her a moment, wondering where she was going with it, then it hit him, "Stop moving, the more you move the more lost you get."

She nodded, though not fully sure why, "If I just wait, they'll find me." she shrugged her shoulders.

"You sure?" he wondered who this laid back Max was. She certainly was turning out to be a different person than the one he'd expected her to be.

"I'm sure." She said walking away, "So anything good in your fridge?"


	13. Has it been that long?

"So you're aware you've been with this guy for 3 months right Max?" Original Cindy said watching Logan talk to Sketch.

"Has it been that long?" she asked, truly amazed by it.

"Max the summer is almost over and he's still here."

"Hmm"

Original Cindy pursed her lips and repeated Max's sound, "Hmm? Are things not all good between you and Ritchie Rich?"

"Things are fine" Max said with a shrug of her shoulders

"You're lying"

"No I'm not…Things are fine." she said trying to ignore that lingering feeling that there was something important missing between her and Logan.

"I've talked to Kendra, I know it's not the sex."

Max laughed, she couldn't help it, "No the sex is still great. Damn" she cocked her head "it's actually it's pretty unbelievable."

"So then what's the problem?"

She shook her head, "No idea. Sex is good, food is great, he's actually pretty funny at times, a little work obsessed." she shook her head again, _what was missing?_

"Maybe your problem is your sex is too good."

Max rolled her eyes

"No, no I'm serious. You guys got all physical and never actually got to know each other."

"We know each other" she responded with attitude.

"How often do you see each other?"

"Couple times a week"

"And what do you do every time you see each other?"

Max smiled

"See that's your problem, you and your little love slave don't talk."

"We talk." she defended

It was Cindy's turn to roll her eyes. "What do you and Logan do when you're alone together?"

"We do more than just have sex. We eat, he cooks, I watch."

"Which leads to…"

Max pointed out, "We watch tv together"

"Which leads to…"

Max shook her head, _what was wrong with having sex with her boyfriend? Better question when exactly had he become her boyfriend? _"Okay so everything leads to sex, the point is there's more to it than just sex. We do other things."

"But are you connecting? I mean I see you guys here, what once a week he comes faithfully. You've got some casual banter, but what does it end up with? You and him rushing out of here trying not to look obvious."

"Okay what's wrong with having a healthy sex life" Max asked in raised hushed tones.

"Nothing...The problem is, you want more than that."

She shook her head, "No I don't"

"Yes you do…You finally got the boy, who keeps his distance, doesn't do any little PDA's and you want them."

Max shook her head

"Does he walk with your hand?"

"Sometimes"

Original Cindy looked skeptical, "Does he pull you into him to sleep?"

"He keeps a hand on the small of my back. He's only like that because he knows I like my space."

"Maxie, girl" Original Cindy said placing a hand on her shoulder, "I don't think you like it as much as you want to like it. You've trained that boy to keep his distance from you."

"So what do you want me to do about it?"

"Get more involved in his life…Jesus Max ask the boy questions, take his hand. Please tell me you at least cuddle as you watch tv."

Max laughed, "We do, but then we never see the tv."

"I cannot believe you proved that you can actually have too much sex."


	14. Don't want to want it

Max voiceover-

3 months.

I can't believe she's right and it's been three months since I first met Logan.

Logan Cale, defender of all that's good with me, your run of the mill revved up cat burglar.

Course, I haven't really done that in awhile. I haven't talked to Vogelsang in the three months Logan and I have been together, so my need for cash has been pretty limited.

I wonder if what Original Cindy said is true, if I really do want all those cutesy little things. _I don't want to want them_, I've got that much down. Anyway I shouldn't really get attached to Logan, I'll probably have to leave soon.

I mean what's wrong with just the good food and good sex…Okay unbelievable sex and amazing food.

It's more than I've ever had before, it should make me happy and it does...

Sometimes though, I wonder if I should let him in, in moments of weakness I just want to confess all and curl into his arms. I don't want to stay away when the Tryptophan isn't working. I want to go to him and have him hold me in his arms until the seizures stop. I don't want to run away when I feel one coming on.

I just want to be honest with him. I've never been this weak with anyone. I should leave now, while I still can. I know that. Yet here I am all un-moving.


	15. This Seems Familiar

She walked in to the apartment to hear his voice, "47 people paying 20,000 each to be smuggled into Canada so they could earn enough money to eat are dead. They were marched overboard last night by their ruthless handlers who operate with the knowledge, support and active collaboration of government officials only too happy to look the other way for a piece of the action. This must never happen again. Those responsible are on notice. Their power and privilege will not protect them. They will be held accountable. This has been a streaming freedom video bulletin...via the Eyes Only informant net. Peace...out."

"This seems rather familiar" she said once she was sure he was done.

He laughed as he put his glasses back on, "Yea, but you used the door this time."

He'd done two hacks since Sonrisa, but this was the first one she'd seen in person. They almost never discussed his work, unless it was Logan apologizing for being late or having to cut an evening short.

"Yea I'm trying to get someone in to check on this guy." He said looking up at her from his seat

She just looked back

"Joel Solinski. This guy's got a wife with three kids, an ex-wife with two kids, a mistress, and two girlfriends. The wives get houses, the mistress a condo, and everybody gets a car." he gave her another look, "all on a harbormaster's salary."

"You're not going to make me feel guilty. I saved your ass once, I'm done."

He shook his head and laughed, pushing her didn't work, he'd rather keep her as his girlfriend than lose her entirely. "Fair enough, so what brings you by?"

"Boredom?"

He raised an eyebrow

She laughed and hit him, "Not that kind of boredom."

"Hmm" he pondered for a moment, but then shook his head, remembering his responsibilities "I really do need to do something about this guy." He apologized

"Okay so why don't you tell me what it is you're going to do?" she leaned back on the desk.

He grimaced, "Easiest way would be to get on his boat."

Max closed her eyes.

"Yea see I'm realizing that's not the smartest move, which is why I hit you up for the job. Rumor has it he has another shipment of people leaving soon. I don't know when though and I don't think there's enough time for me to get someone on the inside. I'm trying to find someone on his crew I can turn."

"Not having any luck?"

He shook his head, "This guy's paying them too well."

"Well I guess I'll leave you to it." she said leaning over to kiss him goodbye

"I'm sorry"

"It's all good, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

* * *

Author's Note:

Okay so obviously working with the storyline again, now that I've caught up time wise. Haha, really hope you people are all up to date on your episodes because large chunks are just going to be left blank, I'm just skipping instead of inserting the script with minor alterations because that would take forever.

When it's needed I will repeat what we saw in the show, some things are just totally left out of the storyline. So if there is no mention of them, they never happened (Like there will be no Hannah because Max told Logan not to investigate) or if it was an Eyes Only thing figure that Logan did something about it himself (Like Herrero).

Okay so I hope you're enjoying and if you are or even if you aren't but you for some reason read this, let me know. Thanks for reading!


	16. Slave to my DNA

A couple of days later:

"So dinner was amazing like normal" she said pressing herself up against his body

He looked down, slightly in shock, he hadn't heard her approach, this was a little aggressive, even for Max, then again so had been her behavior last night and this morning, "I aim to please."

The corners of her mouth lifted as he said please.

"Max you okay?"

"Never better" she said lifting herself up for a kiss.

The shrill of Logan's cell phone tore them apart.

"Ignore it" she said trying to pull him back down.

"I can't, you know that." he said separating from her

"Yea, hi" he nodded into the phone a couple times and jotted down several things. "Yea thanks, he'll definitely be able to use this."

He looked over at Max as he put down the phone.

She knew that look, **she hated that look**, "No" was all she said.

"I'm sorry Max, he's got people on the boat now. I've got to find someone to get them off."

She groaned

"I'm sorry" he said walking over and kissing her, "Too many lives are at stake."

"How long's it gonna take?" Max inwardly groaned, of course the one time she was in heat and had a boyfriend she actually wanted, he was too busy.

"Probably all night."

Max weighed her options, she could go home and suffer, go find some random guy, but he probably wouldn't have Logan's killer smile and all of his other wonderful attributes as well, _Mmmm his wonderfully delightful attributes, _she shook her head to focus again. Or she could go, do this job and get to spend the next 12 hours in bed with Logan. The thought of bed with Logan, raised the temperature in the room to at least 90.

She groaned, first a damn dream, now fuckin heat, why did she keep getting suckered into these things, "Tell me what you want me to do"

He looked down at her and smiled, "You serious?"

"I go do this, you turn off your phone and pretend you have normal business hours?"

His grin spread, "Sounds like my kind of deal."


	17. The Strawberry

Okay I hope you're all ready for half new story, half old story because we're hitting some serious transcript chapters…Just a warning. I hope you enjoy.

Before you get confused...The scene from the show where Max goes to Logan's instead of meeting OC and asks him to stay with her during her seizure...Never happened.

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

_The Strawberry_

* * *

Logan walked over to Normal" Excuse me, is Max around?" 

He looked up "Uh, that's an excellent question. Where the fire truck's Max?" he called out

Sketch automatically started lying, "Actually, Max is one of three finalists who has been selected…"

"Never mind. Sorry I asked...Sorry, can't help you." Normal said his attention returning to the papers in front of him.

Logan caught sight of Original Cindy and walked over, "Any idea where she might be? I've been paging her all morning."

"Maybe she don't want to talk to you." she replied with attitude

"Sorry?" he asked confused, _she had liked him hadn't she? _

"She's off the candy." Original Cindy said as if that should explain all.

"Ahh...you're losing me here."

"Yeah, right. Like I didn't notice that all this stuff started about the time you and her met. You know I actually liked you."

"Okay, I'm officially lost."

"I know all about rich guys like you...turning a girl out. Making her into your strawberry. Original Cindy took the drugs you gave Max and flushed them."

"What drugs?" Logan asked with a frown.

Cindy was outraged, "What drugs? The pills you got Max hooked on live with the tidy bowl man now."

It suddenly hit him what she meant, "You flushed her pills down the toilet?"

"Mm-hmm. Homegirl don't need them no more."

"Max has a neurological condition." he tried to avoid completely flipping out on her

"Huh."

"Those pills are the only thing that help."

"She didn't say anything about no neurological condition."

"Well, she wouldn't exactly want to advertise it, would she?" he said as his panic started to show as he thought about what would happened to her without them.

-

She debated knocking on his door, she had a key, which she used most of the time now, but she wasn't too sure what lay waiting beyond that door. Original Cindy said that Logan had been pissed, first pissed at Cindy for flushin her meds, but then pissed at Max for "borrowing" the money to get her pills instead of going to him. Original Cindy and Kendra had a few comments to make on that too, apparently that was the point of having a guy who was loaded.

She used her key in the end. Didn't want to risk another thing for Logan to be pissed about.

"Hey" she said as she walked over to his desk.

He looked up, "Hey"

"So umm, about Maria…" They'd called and given him the run down of what went on when they got back to the apartment.

"I should have people back to me by tomorrow about her."

Max nodded

"I also took care of Walter."

"Thanks" she said leaning back on the desk.

"So how hard would it have been to come to me for any of that before you got yourself arrested and evicted." he asked looking over at her from his seat.

"I can take care of myself Logan."

"Really?" he asked with his eyes widening, "So explain to me how it is you ended up in jail with Lydecker's men on your ass. You barely got out of there Max."

"I know" she said softly, she didn't want to think about how close she'd come today to ending back up in Manticore or even possibly dead, she still couldn't figure out which would have been worse.

He stood, "I'm not asking for the world Max, I'm not asking you to tell me all your secrets, I'm just asking for you to let me in enough so I don't lose you."

She looked up at him and didn't know what to say.

"I'm your boyfriend Max right? After4 months we aren't just fuck buddies are we?" his tone as cruel as his words.

She was frozen in shock because by his words.

"I've never even seen you have a problem with your seizures, I thought they must have been fine. I'm guessing they aren't."

"Sometimes they're bad. Lately they've been really bad and I just couldn't shake them."

"So that's why when I paged you, you said you couldn't come over." he asked

She nodded

"Why won't you let me help you?" he almost looked hurt as he said that.

"I don't need anyone's help."

"You're human Max, just like the rest of us. You need help, you aren't infallible."

She laughed and walked away, "Says the guy who is trying to single handedly to save the world."

"Max I accept when I'm in over my head. I ask for help." he said softly behind her.

She turned to face him and gave a sarcastic laugh, "The reason we're together is because you were willing to get yourself killed. If you'd gone without me, you wouldn't be here today. If you were lucky you'd at least have a few nice scars to show for it."

His mouth dropped for a moment before he found the words to speak, "I'm not fighting you on that Max. I probably would have gotten myself killed, but you came and saved my ass."

"Hey and you returned the favor today, we're even now." she walked away again.

"Stop just discounting everything I say with attitude." he said grabbing her arm and turning her back to him, "All I'm asking is that you trust me a little. I'm not going to exploit your weakness. I just want to help before…" His loud words suddenly grew very soft.

"Before what Logan?" she whispered looking up at him.

"What if I hadn't been able to get the pills? Get Original Cindy in? Get your files off the mainframe?" He shook his head, "Max if I hadn't paged you this morning you would be back in Manticore now."

"I know"

"Please come to me next time" he said moving in and taking her in his arms.

She nodded with her face pressed against his chest.

* * *

Okay so I hope that worked for everyone, you know remembering mostly on your own the whole Crash-Jail-Breakout-Walter drama. If you think I should do a sum up from what happened in the episode in between the new and the old, now would be the time to tell me. 


	18. Let Me In Enough

Okay so about the slight confusion about Logan not being there for her seizure. It probably would have made more sense if you read this whole story at once because I put the fact that she wouldn'tallow herself to be around him when the Tryptophan wasn't workinga few chapters back...Of course it was only one line, like 4 chapters back...I'll try to make it clearer for future chapters. Sorry.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

_Let Me In Enough…_

* * *

Max voiceover (Top of Needle)- 

I left Logan sleeping. I leave him sleeping all the time, even when all I want to do is stay listening to him breathe. I can't let my guard down. I can't let him in any further. He doesn't realize how deep he's already in.

It's that dream still.

It's invaded my seizures. My mind used to focus only on Manticore. All of the horrible things I'd experienced there. Losing Jack and Eva. Killing for the first time. He's in there now though.

I hear the pounding of the gunfire, I see him on the street. I see him in a hospital though too.

I see him broken like I am.

He doesn't understand how much I've let him in. He doesn't understand I wouldn't wait for anyone besides him…I wouldn't deal with anyone else walking away from dinner to do "Urgent" work…I wouldn't have accepted a key from anyone else, even though it was forced on me. But when he said today, '_I'm just asking for you to let me in enough so I don't lose you.'_

All I wanted to do was fall into his arms. I've never fallen into anyone arms, but I almost did today.

He was all I wanted when I couldn't stop shaking.

I don't know how this happened. Why I can't shake him…Why I can't walk away like I should be able to...Like I've always done before...Friends, jobs, boyfriends, my entire life...For the first time ever I can't stay away like I know I should.

_We aren't close,_ I know that. I see everyone in their relationships and I know that isn't us. Part of the time I think it's only me, but it's not…

He isn't used to being close, letting anyone in either. I don't know if it's his family that did that to him…he barely talks about them. Occasionally there's a warm word about his Mom, but the rest he usually just grimaces and moves on quickly.

Maybe it's just Eyes Only, maybe he got so used to having to wear the mask that he doesn't remember to take it off anymore.

There's a weird link between us that I'm not sure I'll ever understand. The moment I turned to him, even though he had a rifle pointed at me we were bonded.

Kendra made a comment one day when she was asking about Logan, she asked if it was love at first sight. I laughed and said it was lust at first sight. But there was something in his words today…

"I'm just asking for you to let me in enough so I don't lose you."

I don't really know what, they just make me feel the same as I did that morning when I couldn't stop feeling his arms around me…


	19. The World Is Out To Get Me

**Chapter 19**

_The World Is Out To Get Me_

**

* * *

**

Max cursed in the elevator as she took off her sneakers and socks and hoped the elevator didn't make any stops before she got to Logan's. She groaned leaning back against the wall, first they'd taken away her bike and today she put her foot into the mother of all puddles. Even her pants were wet from the splash that had occurred, this is what she got for not paying attention and thinking about her baby being trapped in that nasty old impound. At least she had been decently close to Logan's, where she kept a small stash of her things because there was no way she was riding around with a sopping wet sneaker.

"The world is out to get me!" Max called out walking into the apartment, dropping her shoes down. She noticed the grocery bag waiting on the side table. "Will you be mad if I eat the bread now? I'm starving." She grabbed the loaf and walked with it into the living room.

She found Logan standing across from a redhead Max had never seen before and from the guilty look on Logan's face, a redhead Max didn't like. His look of guilt fell away quickly, replaced by one of confusion "Where are your shoes?"

"By the door." she replied back "My job's deadly, I almost drowned in a puddle." She looked back at other female, she was incredibly coiffed and even worse, she had shoes on, "Hi, I'm Max" she walked over, shifted the bread and extended her hand, unwilling for one moment to show how uncomfortable she felt.

The woman gave a weak smile, "Valerie."

Logan looked uneasily from Max to Valerie, he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do in this situation.

"I'm gonna go change…Normal will have my ass if I'm not back soon." She turned back to Valerie, "It's was nice meeting you."

* * *

Missing Scene: The impound yard

* * *

"Just what the cops do to pass time when they aren't beating on people." Original Cindy said as Max slammed her locker shut.

"It's extortion." she said as she walked to sit down.

"That is pure wicked mace. But it's also an opportunity to rise above the wheels of Babylon." Herbal preached from behind her.

"Herbal... I'm not in the mood."

"Hot rod, 299 Kensington." Normal said walking up to them throwing a package at Max.

"Let the injustice roll off you like water."

Max had enough of Herbal's preaching, this was her baby, she turned to face him, "I let Normal screeching roll off me like water. I let cheating boyfriends roll off me like water. I let everything that is wrong and lousy in this world roll off me like water but this is my motorcycle."

"I hear you, sister, but you don't hear me. Now, Jah have a lesson for I and I, you know. Look upon I. Last night, my woman's friend come to stay with us. Winston. No, no, I know they were sweethearts from before. But you see how easy I take it? Even though she cook italla soup for him but never for I."

Original Cindy finally joined in the conversation, "Your shorty's just being a good host. Check the classifieds out, boo. You could probably find a used ride for less than the po-po's jacking you for." she said handing the paper over to Max.

"I don't want a used ride. I want my motorcycle." It was almost a whine, but she didn't care.

"It's just a machine." Cindy pointed out

" It's an extension of my soul if there is such a thing." she said looking down at the paper

"Maxie, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I'm trying to get you to key into that."

"What's up?" Original Cindy asked her eyes following Max as she took off without a word.

* * *

"A random series of numbers is significant how?" he asked looking up from the paper that Max had tossed at him after rushing into his apartment.

"Those numbers are me."

"This is your bar code?" he looked back down at the paper in shock.

"Black and white for the whole world to see. It's like opening the paper and finding my panties"

"Who else knows this number?" he asked

"Only someone from Manticore." she shook her head and walked away.

"Lydecker."

"Or Brin. Or Jondy. 12 of us got away that night." she said looking out the window and remembering.

"You could be walking right into a trap." he said pulling her out of the memory.

"I'll be careful. Promise." she turned back to him and walked over, "But you can't expect me to turn my back on this. They were brothers and sisters to me. When we escaped that night, Zack made us split up. If one of them is looking for me…"

The phone began to ring, but they ignored it and the machine picked up 'Hi, you've reached Logan Cale."

"I know how much they mean to you, Max but what if Lydecker…" he said shaking his head.

"Hey, Loogie" Logan stood up "It's me. God, it was good seeing you."

He picked up the phone, "Hey Val…" he looked over at Max who was once more trying not to give him the evil death glare, "Yea...No...Val, not really a good time to talk" he said trying to get the words across hers, "Uh yea call me back later." He hit end and looked at Max.

"You gonna tell me who this Val person is?"

He cleared his throat, "My ex"

"Ex girlfriend?"

"Ex-wife"

"You have an ex-wife?" shock slipped through Max's voice.

"Yea" he braced himself waiting for the fallout, he definitely should have found a way to tell her this before she found out on her own. The problem was they didn't really talk about things like this.

Max just remained silent.

"Val was an alcoholic, she came by today to apologize for…well everything."

"Oh"

"You're mad" he asked

She shook her head and lied, "No. Why would I be mad?"

"Because I didn't tell you I had been married?"

"It's no big deal…you were married. There's tons of stuff you don't know about me."

"Including whether or not you plan on using common sense and staying away from Yesler and Viaduct tonight."

"Oh, Loogie. What would be the fun in that?" she hoped her teasing tone covered her anger.

"I mean it, Max. It's dangerous."

"Like that ever stopped you doing what you needed to do." she said with a tilt of her head and he knew there was no reaching her.


	20. Man of the Hour

Okay so I hope you enjoyed the excessive posting of this story because it's over now...I'm out of chapters...So no more of this almost everyday stuff...Sorry.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Twenty**

_Man of the Hour_

**

* * *

**

The Next Morning (Max met with Vogelsang the previous evening):

"Here's the man of the hour."

Max turned at Normal's words and a small smile crept out as he grinned "Hey."

She wondered in that moment how she knew it was him, he looked nothing like that young child she had been separated from, but she knew the moment he smiled, _it was Zack._ Zack is who Vogelsang was talking about.

"Uh oh Boo" Original Cindy said next to her.

"Huh?" She looked over in confusion, her attention being drawn away from Zack.

"Apparently, he's now more pissed than you." she said nodding towards the entrance, past Zack to Logan who was standing in the entrance.

Logan saw her eyes connect with his and then he turned and walked out.

Max's enjoyment over seeing her brother was quickly replaced by anger and attitude, "He has an ex wife, an ex wife that I never knew existed and probably wouldn't have if I hadn't found her in his apartment yesterday." she defended her actions to OC. _So what if she hadn't returned his pages this morning…_

"Oooh" Cindy made a face

"Yea, tell me about it." Max said as she followed him out the door…_Why was she following him outside?"_

"Why are you mad at me?" she asked as she caught up to him at his car, "You're the one with an ex I didn't know about!" _Dammit how had that slipped through?_

He looked up in shock "You didn't return a single page because of Val?" He shook his head, "I've paged you 4 times since seven. I thought you were dead."

"Why would I be dead?" she asked confused.

"Yesler and Viaduct? Your barcode? I would have thought you'd check in after something like that."

"Oh" Max said with chagrin, "Sorry?"

He laughed, the stress and panic that had been replaced by anger suddenly gone. "I thought you weren't mad about Val?"

She suddenly tried to fake indifference, even though she'd clearly proven differently just moments earlier, "I'm not"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her, she's not a part of my past I like to revisit." he apologized.

"It's fine," Max said with a shake of her head, "my day just hadn't been going well to begin with."

"What happened besides from the puddle?" he asked leaning against the car.

"Cops fuckin took my bike…Busted up my taillight and you wanna know what else? The moment I leave your place the guy at the impound says he wants 3 grand for it."

"Ouch" Logan made a face, "Is your bike even"

She glared as she cut him off, "Do not even suggest another bike…That is my baby."

He chuckled slightly, "I'm sorry, do you want the money to get it back?"

She frowned, it was bad enough he already made sure she had a never ending supply of Tryptophan, "No, I can take care of this myself."

"Stealing it back?" he asked knowingly.

"Oh yea" she said with a smile.

"I'm sorry you had such a bad day, but I'm incredibly glad though that you didn't go last night." he said lifting off from the car to approach her.

"Oh I went" she said as she looked up at him. He froze and she continued, "It was Vogelsang, had info about one of my sibs being here…" she shook her head in shock, "That bastard wanted 15 grand for it…I swear to you…what do I have sucker written across my forehead?"

"One of you siblings is here in Seattle?" he asked, the wheels in his mind already turning.

She laughed as she saw all the action going on behind his eyes, "Zack, he's actually in Jam Pony as we speak…You being pissy is delaying my family reunion."

"Ooh" he made a face, "Sorry" he apologized.

"Well seeing as you thought I was dead, I guess you can be forgiven. I've got to get back before Normal loses his shit." She lifted up to kiss him goodbye.

He smiled, "So do I get to meet your brother?"

"Logan" she said with a shake of her head, "I haven't met him yet, one step at a time."

He watched her walk away and then laughed as he opened the car door.


	21. A Little Drama

**Chapter Twenty-One**

_A Little Drama_

**

* * *

**

Zack was nowhere in sight when Max finally walked back into Jam Pony, the good news was it looked like Normal had been so distracted by his new golden boy that he hadn't even noticed she was missing.

She walked over to Original Cindy by the lockers.

"You and your boo made up?" she said seeing Max's no longer furious expression.

"Turns out we had a misunderstanding."

"She wasn't his ex and she wasn't alone with him in his apartment?"

Max made a face, "No that part's still true."

Original Cindy laughed, "Honey you just fell for the oldest trick in the book, they let you think they're mad at you and then they have you falling over backwards trying to make it up to them."

Max frowned and glared at Original Cindy, then shook her head, "That's not Logan."

Original Cindy shook her head as if she knew better, "Whatever you say Sug.

"No, no seriously that's not Logan and trust me he had a reason to be pissed." Max defended.

"What about the ex?"

Max frowned again, _what about Valerie? _"I don't know." she groaned, "I have to ask him about her don't I?"

Cindy nodded, "Fraid so boo."

"So what happened to the new guy?" she asked looking around "We scare him off that easy?"

Original Cindy laughed, "Fraid not. Normal sent him out, you need to watch out for that one, he was drooling over you…But don't worry, I put him in his place."

"What do you mean?" the worry creeping out of her eyes.

"Just told him that only one boy has your heart despite the fact that you looked like you wanted to tear out his."

"You told him about Logan" she said with a whimpering groan, _God Zack knowing how weak she was, she wasn't looking forward to hearing about that._

"I'm sorry did you want to get all lickety with Normal's protégé?"

Max gave a laughing groan, "Ugh definitely not. But do you have to spread it around?"

Cindy laughed, "You been with the boy for over four months Max, I don't think people think you just keep running into him at Crash."

"Ugh" Max said sitting down, "Being in a relationship is so embarrassing."

"It was a lot easier when you didn't like them wasn't it?" Cindy said laughing as she leaned up against her locker.

"God that's an understatement…You know I blame you…We had a great first three months…" she shook her head.

"Okay so you had a little drama today, it's not the end of the world."

"Second drama in less than a month. This is getting excessive."

Cindy laughed, "Drama twice in one month?" she shook her head, "Yea real excessive" she said sarcastically. "Come on let's get out here."


	22. Drama Times Ten

**Chapter 22**

_Drama Times Ten_

**

* * *

**

"Hey, 1535 Eagle. Eagle street is where, exactly?" Zack asked looking down at the package confused.

"It's just past wurlitzer, south of north jesus avenue." Sketchy said walking past him

"Between proctor and gamble." Was Cindy's answer.

Another rider joined in the teasing, "Yeah, right across the street from... Power nipple."

"Excuse me, sir do you know where...?" Zack was asking Normal

"I've got to be in sector two at 3:30. You got anything for me?" Max said walking over to Normal, seeing Zack again for the first time since yesterday.

"Follow her" he said as he handed a package to Max.

-

She sat before her brother with a cup of coffee, she'd waited over a day to figure out why he was here, for him to tell her, maybe he didn't know it was her…That was always a possibility…Maybe she was going insane, maybe he really wasn't Zack, that was probably the better possibility.

She stirred her coffee and studied him for a moment.

"So uh, what was that fight about between you and your boyfriend." _Hmmm_, she thought, _maybe he really isn't Zack, Zack could never act so wussy, he was born to command, literally._

She shrugged her shoulders, "Stupid shit." She looked down at her watch and walked over to the phone, "All right time's up. There's another phone down the block. It's on me." She said kicking the two teenage girls off the phone.

She sat back down and forced herself to take a sip of this vile shit they called coffee, _god Logan had spoiled her when it came to coffee_.

"You seem nervous."

Her eyes hardened, " Compared to what? You don't even know me."

"Maybe we knew each other in a past life."

She was pissed, he was teasing her now. She knew for sure now that it was Zack. That asinine little punk of a brother was getting off on the fact that he knew who she was and she didn't know who he was. She thought about getting up and walking out, but the phone rang before she could act.

"Punk ass here." she said after walking over to the phone.

Vogelsang's voice was on the other end, "You got the money?

"Nah" she said looking straight at Zack as she spoke into the phone, "I don't want to know anymore."

"Max" Vogelsang sputtered into the phone as she hung up.

"Eagle is three blocks down that way" Max said pointing as she walked towards the door.

He stood and followed her, "Who was that on the phone?"

"No one. Have a good day." She threw open the door and stormed out.

-

She rode as hard and as fast as she could without looking like a total freak to the people on the street. She didn't know what happened as she picked up that phone. She'd turned and looked at Zack, sitting there trying not to pay attention to her on the phone by sipping his coffee.

Why had she looked so hard? Why had she been so desperate to find them?

God she still loved him so much, but she had this weird feeling that she couldn't be Max Guevara and 452. Suddenly seeing him in that moment made her feel like her whole life was slipping away.

She had a great life and not just for an escaped genetically engineered soldier, living her life on the run…She had a great life anyway. She had the best friends anyone could ask for, a great sleazy apartment, which really was saying a lot in this town and she had Logan…Hell Logan would have been a catch pre-pulse minus the whole always trying to save the world thing.

Something inside of her told her she couldn't have them both, she couldn't have Logan and Zack…She didn't want to have to make that choice…

It wasn't fair of the world to ask her…Her brother or her lover?

She wondered why she thought that, who was to say that she couldn't have both? Her new family and her old?

She shook her head as she hopped off her bike with the package…She'd worry about Zack tomorrow at work…Maybe all he'd wanted was to see she was okay and he wouldn't even be there.

God she felt guilty for even thinking that. She just didn't want to choose.

_-_

_Later that night:_

_Max has seen on the news that Vogelsang has been killed, she's seen Lydecker's men at the scene._

_-_

He found her, how she didn't know. But there she was sitting up on the Needle trying to figure out what was going on in her life when she heard noises behind her. The only person that knew she came up here to think was Logan and he'd turned white at the mere thought of joining her.

"How'd you find me?" She asked not bothering to turn as she stood overlooking the city.

"That first morning, I got into Cheyenne, I thought I was surrounded by the enemy so I climbed up onto the roof of an office building in downtown to lay low just as the sun was coming up."

"I come up here to feel normal."

"You're never going to be normal Maxie."

She turned finally ,"I can try."

"We've got to go. Lydecker's men are going to be combing the city."

She turned back out onto the city and thought about what it would feel like to leave everyone and thing behind.

"We have to leave tonight. I can get us to San Francisco, and we'll split up there."

"Split up?" she repeated slightly confused, those words pulled her away from her thoughts of having to leave Logan and her girls.

"We can't stay together, Max. It will compromise everyone's safety." he explained.

"You know where the others are? Tell me!" she begged desperately

"The less you know about the others, the better that way if anyone gets captured the others will still be safe."

"But they're my family!" she cried, how was this happening, she dreamed of finding them for so long…He couldn't keep them away from her.

"They're soldiers... And so are you. The only person you can rely on, Max, is yourself. Everything else is just a lie. It's phony sentimentality. And it will get you killed. Now, let's go."

She took a step back "No."

"I'm not asking you, Max. I'm giving you an order."

She laughed, "What are you going to do, court martial me?"

"If you stay here, you risk tactical exposure or have you forgotten everything that they taught us?"

"No, but I'm trying real hard at it. You're still back at Manticore. Maybe I'm chasing a sentimental lie but at least I'm trying to get away from it."

"Are you staying because of that guy from Jam Pony?"

"Logan?"

"The one who apparently has your heart according to Original Cindy. Does he have your heart Max? Are you going to risk going back to that place to just stay with him?"

Max tried to ignore the conflicting feelings inside of her, part of her loved Zack so much and she knew he would do anything for her, but part of her made her wary of that love. Probably because he had just killed Vogelsang, she knew that the moment Logan had asked her why Lydecker had showed up after Vogelsang was dead. "He's saved me from Lydecker before. Just like you did." she said softly.

Pain flashed in his eyes and she wasn't fully sure why. "I can't be responsible for you if you won't listen." He said turning to go back inside.

She watched his retreating form and all of her love returned, it overpowered everything else, all the feelings that something bad could happen, "Zack, don't go. Please." she cried out.

He turned back and walked over to her, "I have to. Did a good job on you, Max. Turned out okay." he stroked her cheek with his finger, "Take care little sister."

She watched him leave her for the second time and then turned back to the city…Almost sure she had made the right choice.

-

"You're a nice surprise to find in my kitchen" Logan said walking into the room with a towel slung low over his hips as he towel dried his hair.

She smiled with the fork in-between her teeth, she chewed the piece of penne before speaking, "You're not a bad surprise yourself." she let her eyes roll over his body.

He dropped the towel onto a stool and walked over to her, he stood in between her legs and shook his head as she extended out her fork. "I just brushed my teeth."

"You cannot be going to bed this early." she said with a tilt of her head.

He gave her a cocky little grin, "I'm not the only one going to bed this early."

She laughed as she put the container down next to her, _so much for talking about what had happened with Zack. Then again maybe just trying to forget what happened was for the best.

* * *

_

AN: Okay that was a little choppy at times with Max's thoughts and actions regarding Zack…She's conflicted because she loves him, but there's just a feeling inside of her to stay away. Oh and I don't remember if how Zack found Vogelsang last time was because he overheard Max's call or not…Even if that's the case and that's how he found him, I don't doubt for a second that Zack would have found another way to off the guy…Especially considering I'm sure Vogelsang called back the moment Max hung up. Once more thanks for reading.


	23. Old Fashioned

Okay total nothing chapter, kinda like a space filler. A lot of these chapters are going to be like that I think because I don't want to totally bypass them…If I could just directly zap my thoughts into your heads about what happens in between all the chapters I actually want to write I would, sadly I can't. Sorry.

Also I was going to make Logan go with Max for the Tanaka thing because I think the journalist in Logan would be really interested in that…He's too easy to trace though, Lydecker would totally find him. So it was have him go which I think he would have done and have no "Blah Blah Woof Woof" because Max wouldn't risk exposing Logan by revealing her face to Lydecker in "Cold Comfort" and I want Lydecker after Max. Okay I just needed to explain that.

Oh and I know this story is already based on a different Logan and Max, but I think my writing of them is getting worse as I get away from my Dark Angel induced 2 weeks before Xmas (when I got the netflix) and a week after the New Year (when I owned the dvds). I don't wanna risk watching another episode though, I missed the show so badly afterwards (which is odd considering I stopped watching it when it was still on the air). So yea if in a few chapters you think I should go and re-watch at least an episode because I'm drifting too far feel free to mention.

* * *

__

Missing Scenes: All of Prodigy.

Same stuff happened, Logan offers himself up in place of the women, Logan however gets to put up more of a fight when they're going to off him, so Max doesn't have to jump off the roof, she kicks the guys asses instead, she still saves Lydecker and Pete takes away Jude.

* * *

She held out 2 pills in an outstretched hand and a glass over water in the other.

Logan looked up at her, his face showing the signs it would be a lovely purple tomorrow, which went nicely with the eight stitches he had above his eyes. He groaned as he tried to lean forward to take the pills and placed a hand over his taped ribs.

"This is what you get for trying to play hero." she said unsympathetically.

"You know" he said as held out his hand as she handed him the pills and took the glass of water, "Most women would be pleased that their boyfriend offered his life in exchange for theirs." He swallowed the pills, took a sip of water and then handed it back to her, he wasn't stupid enough to try to move again.

"I'm not most women. If you haven't noticed" she said as she put the glass on his nightstand.

"Trust me, I've noticed" he said with a shake of his head.

She down at him and thought for a moment, "You would have still gone even if I wasn't there." It was a half statement/half question.

"Probably" he admitted truthfully as he slowly tried to lower himself into a resting position.

"You're a retard" she said helping him down.

"I know, you've told me many times." he said patiently, basically ignoring her words, he was as likely to change as she was. "Did Pete call?" he asked

"Umm, was he supposed to after he got to his sister's?" Max looked around the room and then down at Logan, _she had absolutely no idea how to play nursemaid. _

"Just if he had a problem."

"Somehow I can't imagine Jude being a problem. Especially compared to Pete's nieces and nephew." Max shuddered with the stories she'd been told about those three terrors. The bodyguard and Max had come to an uneasy truce, neither was particularly fond of the other, but they tried to put it aside for Logan. Luckily, Logan didn't need Pete around that often or Max was sure they would have come to blows again. Pete wasn't the type of guy who could deal with getting his ass kicked by someone who weighed 120 soaking wet.

"Good point" He looked at her once more looking around the room for something to do, "Sit down Max"

She looked down at the bed and sighed, she didn't want to risk bouncing him at all, she seemed to have forgotten she moved with an unnatural grace. She sat down anyway, she had no desire to rile Logan up that would probably do more damage than she was trying to avoid.

"So did I mention thanks for saving my ass?…Again."

She laughed at the sadness in his voice as he threw in the again…Poor Logan Cale, so not used to being weak and helpless. "Your welcome…Again."

"So, that was Lydecker." he said quickly changing the subject.

"Yep, My own private anti-christ up close and personal."

"Shorter than I imagined." he joked. "Do we have any idea why he was there?"

"Same as me- looking for answers. He said all of us, his gifted children, were... Flawed." She put her head back on the headboard as she said that final word…_The perfect word to describe her. _

"The seizures?"

"I got the sense he was talking about something even worse. I saved his life." she turned to him with a pitiful look.

"And here I thought I was special." Logan smiled.

"He was about to take a bullet in the head. All I had to do was stand there, do nothing and I could cross Donald Lydecker off my list of things to worry about."

Logan mocked shock, "You didn't exploit tactical advantage over your enemy? He'd be so disappointed if he knew." Logan smiled

She shook her head, "How sick is that? But, for some reason, I couldn't let it happen. I have no idea why."

"Life good, murder bad?"

"I'm not that high-minded. Lydecker's the one guy that knows what's going on in this freak show body of mine... Whether or not this bar code has an expiration date. I guess I couldn't let him die with that secret."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself. Fact is, you saved a man's life."

She shook her head at all of Logan's morality, "A bad man." She reminded him

"It's still a good thing." he said unwavering.

Max needed to change the subject, she and Logan hadn't agreed from day one on this bs, they weren't going to today, "I'm not so sure. But you know what really bums my ass out? I had a chance to swipe some towels from the hotel and I totally spaced it."

"Next time." he offered, his eyes starting to close from the meds.

"Yeah, next time."

-

**Max voiceover (Looking out Logan's bedroom window)-**

_Why does it seem that since I met Logan nothing has gone normally?_

I mean 11 years go by and I don't see anyone, not even with Lydecker on my ass. I always stayed one step ahead of him, today though I talked with him, I sat next to him, Kendra warned me not to fall for him…Eww that's just a gross thought.

It's kinda funny how other's see him, kind of how Kendra saw him from afar…Charming, good looking, interesting, if I hadn't know what he was capable of I…well no that's a lie, I think everyone's capable of being totally depraved, but once more that's all because of him.

But I mean in just a few weeks Zack and Lydecker both came back into my life. Both situations were the total opposite of what I expected of them.

With Zack, I expected one of those cheesy family reunions, why I expected that of Zack I don't know…I expected the hugs and I've missed you's, catching up on the past and promises to never let each other go again…He hid who he was from me, killed my PI, then ordered me to leave town with only as much together time as it took to get to San Francisco.

Now today Lydecker, turns out when he doesn't know I'm one of his kids, he's a pretty nice guy…Jesus talk about twisted, it's like going into work and Normal offering me a morning cup of joe.

Now Logan getting all morally on me again…

It's not me, he doesn't get that…I'm not a protector of the good or the weak…I didn't save Lydecker's life because all life is sacred…Then again I'm not too sure why I saved his life…I told Logan it was because he's the one person that knows what's going on inside of me, but I don't think that it. Maybe it's because he's the enemy I know, if I let him die someone new would come after me and if I've able to avoid Lydecker for this long it must mean I've got him decently down. A new guy, that could just screw this whole plan. It's still more than that though…

"Max?" I turned to see his eyes search for me in the dark, he's thinking I've left him like normal then he smiled as sees me, "Have you slept at all?"

I shake my head, "How are your ribs?"

He gave a self-pitying grin, "I'll live"

"Good to know"

"So you coming to bed?"

I nod, "Not really tired…Go back to sleep though."

* * *

Ugh seriously choppy…there is no flow going on whatsoever in my writing. I'm sorry guys. 


	24. Meeting The Family

**Warning: Very Transcripty chapter (Episode Cold Comfort)**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 24**

_Meeting The Family_

**

* * *

**_

* * *

_

Missing Scenes: Whole Jam Pony/new boss thing, Brin being taken, and Zack turning up at Logan's.

* * *

"Max?" Logan called out from his bedroom after hearing the front door open.

"Yea, it's me and I brought company." she said helping Zack to the kitchen.

Logan was frowning walking into the room, wondering who it was she could have brought over, "Jesus" Logan said talking in Zack's battered appearance.

Zack turned and glared at Max who had just helped him into a chair, "You brought me to your boyfriend's?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Just don't understand what Mr. Moneybags is going to do for me."

Max kept her cool, damn fuckin nosey ass people at Jam Pony.

"I'm gonna go" Logan nodded his head back towards his room, "see what I have to clean him up."

"Yea and if there's any chloroform in there…you could bring that too."

He chuckled as he turned out of the room.

"I can't believe you brought me to your boyfriend's."

"If anyone's gonna be able to track down Lydecker it's Logan. You've gotta trust me on this one."

Zack sat in silence as Max paced, Logan returned with his arms overflowing with first aid supplies, "And you were mad I got my ass kicked two weeks ago…Where would we be now if I hadn't?"

Max rolled her eyes as Logan dropped everything on the counter, it was nice to know he could make light of it after she had been the one watching him wince every time he breathed for 2 days, then every time he bent for 5 days after that.

"What happened?" Logan asked as Max started to try to clean Zack's injuries

"Lydecker has my sister"

"Max" Zack bit out.

"He knows all about who we are."

"I want to help you." Logan said as opening a box of band aids as if to further his point.

Max: You can trust him. Tell us what happened.

Zack: She got careless. She got caught. End of story.

Max: What's that supposed to mean?

Zack: She's gone, Max.

Max: So, we're just going to let Lydecker have her?

Zack: You want us to go after her and give him a shot at a hat trick?

Max: We can't just do nothing.

Zack: We're not going to breach op-sec for some half-assed rescue attempt. You need to

accept what happened and move on. Is that clear?

Max: You're my CO, Zack. You can worry about op-sec for the both of us, but I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her back.

Zack: Yeah? How? She's probably halfway to Manticore by now.

"I don't think so." Logan said walking back into the room with his laptop open, having walked out of the room as the two of them were bickering.

Zack: Stay out of this.

"In case you haven't caught on, this girl is going to do what she's going to do no matter what you or anyone else says. So, you've got two choices-back off or pitch in." he said putting the laptop down on the counter.

Max: What he said.

Logan: Now, the way I figure it, you don't just put a genetically-enhanced killing machine on the next bus to Manticore and since I'm not finding any record of military convoys leaving the city, or any unusual air traffic, I'm thinking there's a chance she's probably being held somewhere here in Seattle-maybe at Lydecker's forward base of operations.

Zack: Yeah? Well, where's that?

"Give me a minute." Logan said as he went back to work at the computer.

Max hid her smile as she went back to work on Zack's wounds…Dammit if the man wasn't as brilliant as he was adorable, not to mention he could stand up to Zack with the best of them. Between the three of them she knew they could bring Brin home. They wouldn't let that bastard have her little sister.

_

* * *

_

Missing Scene: Capturing Lydecker

* * *

Back at Logan's Apartment:

Logan: We've got a lead. My contact's got to confirm some details, get back to me. Risky piece of business grabbing Lydecker.

Zack: It wasn't the objective. Max caught a bad case of mission creep.

Logan: And now you've caught a tiger by the tail. You'll look out for her, right?

Zack: It's not something anyone has to ask me to do. It's my responsibility to look after

all of them. If I would have done my job, Brin wouldn't be in this jam.

Zack cleared his throat "So, what is it between you and Max?"

"What do you mean?" Logan asked.

"Is it serious?"

"We've been together a little less than half a year." Just then the phone rang and saved them from having to further this conversation.

Logan (on the phone): Yeah. What do you have for me? You got this how? Appreciate the help.

Logan (to Zack): Okay, the Chinese military has been trying to procure bio-synth technology on the black market for the last few months. Word is the order's been filled. A deal's in the works.

Zack: So, Lydecker was on the level.

Logan: Looks like it. Operation's being run by a Major Jake Sanders. Works out of Fort Xavier, abandoned base just outside of town. Guy's gone rogue, runs his outfit like his

own private fiefdom.

Zack: Where is this place, exactly?

Logan: 13½ miles northwest of here. F.Y.I., It's a secure installation as in lots of guys with guns. There in it for the money and they'll kill for it.

Zack: This is what we do. We're soldiers. You really worried about max? The biggest threat to her safety is you.

Logan: How do you figure?

Zack: She should have gotten the hell out of Seattle a long time ago. She knows it's not safe here, but she stayed anyway, because of you. She ignored her training and let her judgment be clouded by feelings and emotions. And one day it's going to get her killed.

_

* * *

_

Missing Scene: Lydecker seeing their faces, the fort, giving Brin back to Lydecker.

* * *

"You're not going to make me eat dinner all by myself, are you?" Logan asked as he walked over to Max

She turned from the window, "Do you think we did the right thing, Logan...By letting him take her back there?"

"You took her out of a bad situation. You let her choose for herself.

Max: Yeah, I guess.

Logan: How did you leave it with Zack?

Max: He grunted something that sounded like good-bye and then disappeared into the night.

Logan: Well... You should cut him some slack. He probably had a rotten childhood.

Max: Worst part is he swung with Lydecker's ride. Tinted windows, class two armor. I could have fenced it for a fortune. He probably drove it off a bridge into the water somewhere so it couldn't be dusted for prints. He obsesses.

Logan: You need to be more careful yourself, you know? 'Cause now Lydecker knows what you look like.

"I know" she nodded

He took her in his arms out of the blue, "You're gonna get her back Max" he whispered.

Max tensed for a moment before allowing herself to relax into him. She doubted it, Brin was gone to her, but at least she was alive. "Thanks for helping. We're even again."

He looked down at her confused, then realized what she was talking about, he shook his head, "Sonrisa, Solinski and the roof."

She laughed, "How about we cancel out the May 22nd movement since I was part of the reason you were there?"

He dropped his head and kissed her, "Ah you're good for my ego. Come on, dinner's getting cold."


	25. Saying Goodbye

* * *

_Episode: Blah Blah Woof Woof_

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 25**

**_Saying Good-bye_**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

_Max Voiceover: _

He's driving us to his family's cabin. The same cabin he always mentioned in passing that we should go to for a weekend. _This isn't for a weekend trip though._

Zack's getting his wish. I'm leaving Seattle. I'm leaving everyone and everything behind minus what I was wearing this morning and the spare things I kept at Logan's.

This music is depressing me further, of course sad's in the title so that's not really surprising. I woke up this morning at 5am and Logan was sleeping next to me. That same boyish expression and hand on my back as always. The exact same sight I see at least 3 times a week. I'm trying to remember now why I instituted that rule in my mind; it had started out as twice, never see him more than twice a week. Then it slid into three times. Last week though it had been four.

Oh that's right I was trying to keep this from hurting so bad…_Funny, I don't think it worked. _

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"We're here." he said pulling up in front of a cabin.

"Thanks for the ride." Zack said hopping out.

Max held her breath and looked over at him. _This couldn't be it, this couldn't be goodbye. _"Are you going to stay for awhile?"

He looked slightly surprised by that, shocked that she'd ask him and not just run off like he was so used to. He nodded, "I've got to be back in town by eleven though."

She nodded and swallowed hard opening the door. _Just a few hours left…_

Logan walked around to the trunk and pulled out the bag he'd packed of her things.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Come on" he said standing up from the couch; they'd both just been sitting there for five minutes trying to figure out what to say. The only noise that of the shower running in Zack's room.

"Where are we going?" she asked following him through the front door.

"Somewhere your brother isn't".

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He walked her down to the lake, where they just stood for a few moments watching the water before Max decided to sit overlooking it.

He sat down next to her on the dock. "You know this isn't the way I pictured my day going."

She gave a weak smile, "What helping your fugitive girlfriend go on the lam?"

He nodded, "Didn't think when I woke up to find my bed empty like normal that is was going to stay that way." He gave a slight chuckle and shook his head.

"What?" she turned her head.

"I don't know. Guess this isn't the way I expected this to end."

_They'd both always known it was coming though,_ "How'd you expect it to end? Me throwing some priceless relic at your head and storming out?" She joked

He laughed, "You don't throw things when you're mad, you get quiet."

She smiled, "So how did you think we were going to end?"

He shook his head, "I have no idea…Just not like this. Probably would have made last night more special."

She swallowed hard and thought about the night before, Logan dashing between the kitchen and his computer as he finished cooking, on and off his phone as she watched tv and him with amusement. She ate while perched on the table watching him work, he'd occasionally turn his head and she'd feed him off her plate.

_"Mmm" he sighed, leaning back in his chair finally after putting down his phone. _

_"Crisis averted?" she smiled down. _

_"For the moment. I'm sorry." _

_"No biggie. I at least had food to keep me company." _

His whole crisis had taken less than 40 minutes and really hadn't impacted their night, but she knew what he meant. He had moments when he'd go overboard; forget they were a simple, uncomplicated couple of convenience. That's what they were when it came down to it, they were together when their schedules fit, well when Logan had free time and she didn't have the strength to fight staying away, to go out with the girls instead of being just curled up with him. Sometimes though completely out of the blue there would be these romantic, candlelight with music playing in the background dinners. He would take her in his arms and they would dance in his living room. He meant one of those nights.

Those nights hadn't scared her though; _they hadn't made her want to run._

The nights that made her want to run were nights like last night. When she was content just chillin as he did his thing. Feeding him off her plate as he worked, smiling down when he groaned in frustration and he'd always turn and flash her one in turn. The kiss that always accompanied the end of work. A long deep kiss, part in celebration that it was over, part as an 'I'm sorry' for being an ass and doing work while they were supposed to be having a date. He'd finished eating while standing leaning up against a counter talking to her as she sat across from him on top of another. Then they'd just settled in and watched tv until the nearness of each other got the better of them and whatever they were watching was forgotten.

Sometimes it would be music that would make her panic later. She'd be walking around his apartment and the radio would be on and he'd grab her and start to dance with her. Not the flawless dancing of their romantic nights, though it always started out that way, it was paired with a few dips and twirls that were just for fun. That was truly rare though, when Logan and she both had their guards let down enough to just be free for a song.

She swallowed hard and hoped he didn't see it, "Can you tell" she paused for a moment, _what was she supposed to say to her girls? _

"I'll tell them you said goodbye"

She nodded and ordered the tears not to leave her eyes.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_Awhile later, the master bedroom. Logan and Max curled into each other in bed. _

She knew what he was waiting for, she knew the only way he could leave, he couldn't bear to say actually good-bye and neither could she. She waited awhile, she allowed herself to record every breath he took, exactly what this moment felt like. Then she forced her breathing to change, her body to relax even further. He continued to hold her though.

Then finally she felt his arms start to slide away from her, he sighed looking down at her and he brushed back her hair. "I love you, Max" he whispered and kissed the top of her head.

She remained still as she heard him gather his clothes and dress and then slip out of the room. She listened to the front door softly close and his car start.

She sat up with the sheet wrapped around her and hugged her legs to her body. He was gone. Logan Cale, defender of all that's good, protector of the downtrodden, righter of wrongs, just might have been the love of her life was gone.

"Hey Max" Zack said opening the door after knocking softly.

She looked up with tears in her eyes, she couldn't hide being weak any longer, "Don't Zack" she shook her head, "Don't tell me how it's for the best, don't tell me he wasn't good enough for me, don't tell me that all this sentimental crap doesn't mean anything." Her eyes connected with his, "I was happy living the lie Zack…The friends, the boyfriend, my apartment, stupid, trivial knickknacks that had no point whatsoever, I liked all of it…Hell I almost even like Normal."

He sat down at the edge of the bed, "We're never going to get to stop running Maxie. Normal lives don't work out for us."

"Have you ever even tried to have one?" she angrily asked

"Once…Didn't last for long." He looked at her, his little sister needed desperately to be comforted. "It could have been worse Maxie."

"How?"

"Just trust me, it could have."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She sat on the couch blinding staring into the fire, hoping to be mesmerized by the flames and force her focus away from the day's events. Zack had given her a glass of wine, but it tasted bitter to her, she doubted she'd ever be able to enjoy another glass of wine.

"Come on Maxie" He said sitting down on the floor in front of her, his blue eyes looking up at her. "At least you're with family."

_'You're my family' _she heard her own voice again and tore herself away from Zack's gaze and looked into the fire

_'I love you, Max.'_

She just stared blankly into the fire.

* * *

**Okay so now here's the point that you get to decide if you want the story to stop there or to go on. If it goes on it becomes a very different story and this is a perfectly fine ending to the story. In fact, I might like this instead of the other ending I have written (I've shared repeatedly that I write out of order). The choice is up to you though…If you think this is where it should stop or if you think it should go on. If this is where you want it to stop then thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If you're one of the "DON'T END THE STORY" people even when it's a fully complete little story (you know who you are) then I'll get another chapter up soon and don't say I didn't warn you it would change. So now is the time to review, a More or Stop will suffice (since I'm pretty sure there are a few of you out there that find reviewing to be painful). Thanks. **


	26. Something Isn't Right

Okay well apparently you want more…I meanwhile am totally burnt out on this story, but I will go on. 'Cause yea that would have been a very different story than the one I started out with. The good news is if you hate what happens from this point on it's totally your own fault (Sorry Babyangel I cannot say which way this story goes).

* * *

She paced through the night, she couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. _Just the fact that I'm leaving everything behind, _she kept telling herself. It didn't stop her though after the sun had risen from giving in and calling him. 

"Hello."

Max frowned as she heard the bodyguard's voice, "Pete, What are you doing with Logan's phone?"

"Max" was all he said.

"Is he all right? Can I talk to him?"

"He can't talk right now."

"What's wrong?" she asked with growing fear.

Her fears were realized when she faintly heard, "Dr. Marks to E.R." over the phone instead of Pete's voice.

"Why are you at a hospital? Tell me."

"Logan was meeting an informant last night Max."

She remembered his words when she'd asked him to stay,_ 'I've got to be back in town by eleven though.'_ "He was setup?" she asked

"No, our boy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, informant's dead. Logan took one to his arm and one to his side…Apparently nicked a few things in there. He's back in surgery now."

"What do you mean back in surgery?"

"His pressure starting falling again about an hour ago, they realized they missed something. It's not looking too good Max."

"Which hospital?"

"Metro Medical"

She hung up the phone.

_

* * *

_

Missing Scene: Max and Zack fighting. _

* * *

_

"I'm sorry Miss you can't be in here." The doctor said walking away from Logan towards here. 

"How is he?" Her eyes pinned on Logan's unconscious form, _he was so pale._ Logan was never pale, he was always the picture of vitality, he was only like this in her nightmares..._This was so eerily similar to them…_

The woman weakened seeing Max's fragile state, "He's fighting. It's been touch and go. He's strong though. He's young." The doctor tried to reassure her.

Max swallowed hard as she walked over to him and took his hand in her own and willed him to open those beautiful eyes of his.

"You really can't be in here." The doctor said coming to the bedside, "Family only."

"He hates his family." she replied never looking away from Logan.

The doctor opened her mouth again.

Max turned with tears in her eyes, "Please don't make me leave."

The doctor let out a breath and nodded.

"Don't leave me" she cried softly as she sat down still holding his hand, "Please don't leave me."

A few minutes passed in silence until, "Max."

She turned her attention from focusing on his hand entwined with hers to hear his mumbled word, his eyes trying to remain open, "I'm here Logan." she held his hand tighter.

"Thought you left." he said struggling to remain conscious.

"I thought I did too" she whispered as his lids closed again. "I couldn't leave you, Logan." She said almost as a cry to his sleeping form and lowered her head to rest on his uninjured arm.

_

* * *

_

Missing Scenes: Max being arrested and released. _

* * *

Max voiceover (that night):_

_If only Kendra could see Logan now. He's basically slept through this whole day of course he's highly medicated. I know tomorrow he'll be fighting with everyone swearing he's fine and he's ready to be released._

_Logan almost died last night, I spent the entire ride back to town trying to imagine a world without Logan in it..._

_(Swallows hard)_

_Zack might have died this afternoon._

_I don't know if it's true or not. If he's really gone. He always said he'd rather die than go back there…_

"Max" Logan mumbles coming out of sleep.

She moved away from the window to his uninjured side, "Look who's awake again" she softly teased

His eyes focused on hers, "Did I mention I now understand why you hate guns?"

She laughed, "Only a couple of times"

He slowly raised up a hand to touch her cheek, "You look tired"

She smirked, in the past day and a half she'd had a whole city looking to arrest her, gone on the run, had Logan tell her he loved him and then left her, Logan was shot, she fought with Zack and they were both arrested and he might be dead now, so in the end she decided that words weren't necessary and she just gave Logan a look.

He laughed softly, realizing everything that had gone down. "Crash for awhile?" his eyes dropped to his side.

"That bed is not meant for two Logan."

"It's better than the chair." he said softly yawning as he gingerly raised his body up and over to give her more space on the bed.

She kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed, she rested sideways with her head on Logan's shoulder. He placed a kiss on her head just as he fell back asleep. She felt her own eyelids lowering, she hadn't slept in what felt like weeks. She was right, she thought as she dropped off, sleeping in Logan's arms definitely wasn't half bad, why had she fought it for so long? He was the only place she belonged. She'd worry about everything else tomorrow.


	27. The Honeymoon Period

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 27**

_The Honeymoon Period_

* * *

Max Voiceover- 

It's been almost two weeks.

Two weeks since I fled Seattle.

Two weeks since Logan was shot and my nightmare almost came true.

Two weeks since Zack turned himself in for me. Two weeks since that report of the helicopter going down…

(Max shakes her head to push away the memory)

Two weeks since Logan told me he loves me.

(She smiles)

Of course I was sleeping and he has no idea that I heard his words. He hasn't repeated them. There's still the underlying fact that we can't escape.

I will eventually leave him.

No ifs ands or buts. One day I'm gonna be gone for good.

Maybe that's responsible for this peace that has come over this relationship and our lives. Knowing that it's not lasting forever, realizing how close we came to losing it.

Maybe it's that or maybe it's that things got so bad so quick there was nowhere to go but up. The calm after the storm and all that crap.

Or maybe it's because we got bitch slapped by our feelings. Boom full force there they were. Couldn't pretend anymore. Couldn't hide from them anymore. He meant more to me than…

I don't know what it is exactly. If this is love, but I know I didn't want to leave him. It wasn't the sex, it wasn't the food…It's how he keeps a stash of Little Debbie's in the cabinet by the fridge, how he just stops and smiles at me. I told Kendra the night of our very first date when he smiled at me it was like it was my smile. I was right, that smile is only mine. It's not just when he's looking at me, I'll see him still thinking about something I said or did as I'm leaving the room or entering it when he's unaware and I'll see that little smile flash across his face and I know it's about me.

He loves me.

I'm pretty sure that's what it is. It's not that he was emotional or anything because I was leaving. He loves me. I don't really know why, but I'm pretty sure he does.

We sleep together now, not separated by a foot on the bed. _Skin to skin._

I stayed with him while he was in the hospital, every night I'd come. Brought Cindy with me once and only once because she made Logan laugh so hard he looked like he was going to die from the pain when he doubled over. 4 nights in that tiny cramped hospital bed.

He'd weakly try to convince me to go home to sleep or go to Crash after work. He'd always look so relieved though when I'd stay. He had his laptop but without his cell phone Logan went stir crazy when I wasn't there. I'm pretty sure that's why they let him out two days early.

That first morning when we woke up together, okay well when I woke Logan up trying to move, the sky still dark…

"Mmm" he murmured as he woke up as she tried to move without waking him. "A guy could get used to this." he said with a small smile across his face as she looked down at him.

"Lying shot up in a hospital bed?"

He chuckled softly and shook his head, "Waking up to you."

"One day" she began

Logan shook his head, "I'm just glad it's not today."

She had no words to say to that, she just bent down and kissed him. So was she.

"You ready to go?" Logan came walking into the living room.

Max turned from the window, "You sure you wanna hit up Crash? You're"

He cut her off with a shake of his head, "I'm going stir crazy in here Max."

Max laughed, stir crazy was definitely an understatement to Logan being trapped in his apartment. He'd been fine the first few days just grateful to be out of the hospital, until he'd realized his confinement wasn't over and she and Pete had to watch over him like hawks.

There was something that relaxed in Logan though and that same thing had relaxed in her. Like that final wall was finally down, well almost…

She'd stayed with him when she wasn't at work, giving Pete a break from playing nursemaid. Slept in his bed every night and not because of the reason she'd told Logan.

"I gotta make sure you stay in the apartment."

He'd called her a "Warden" and smiled

She knew that would have to stop, being so close to him constantly…She'd gone to Crash three times this past week after work just so she didn't rush over here.

"Then again" he said as his lips brushed across hers, "I could be persuaded…"

She laughed softly, their lips still touching, "Doctor's orders Logan." He had another doctor's visit in a few days, she knew either she or Pete would have to go with him to get the truth.

"I'm really starting to dislike that woman."

"You'd be dead without her."

"Hmm…Good point." He smiled looking down at her, "So you sure I can't"

She laughed and stepped back from him, "We're going to Crash."

He smiled stepping back to her

"Logan"

"Crash can wait" his head bent down again.


	28. Vows

* * *

Episode: Art Attack (Bennett's Wedding)

_Missing Scenes: All of the art stuff_

* * *

"My cousin's wedding is the day after tomorrow."

Max turned from the fridge to look at Logan who was slicing carrots. "Okay" she slowly replied as he didn't say anything else.

"I didn't think I'd…Yea my family" he shook his head.

Max laughed and pulled out the bag of Hershey kisses he'd found earlier in the week, chocolate did not survive on the shelves very long in this post-pulse world, she was pretty sure some women would sell their children for it. "So are you going?"

His eyes looked up as his face remained downward, he then shook his head as he returned to the carrots, "Bennett can ask one of his brother's to be best man."

Max hopped up on the counter and slowly unwrapped a kiss looking at him.

"He probably only asked me to piss off my uncle." he moved onto the potatoes.

Max just continued to watch at him.

"Stop looking at me like that"

"How am I looking at you?" she asked with a shake of her head.

"He has two brother's Max…I was shot twice, less than three weeks ago."

She started on another kiss, Logan was fully healed, they both knew that wasn't a reason, "So how long ago did he ask you?"

Logan made sure to avoid all eye contact with Max, "Two months ago."

"So you're just gonna leave him high and dry"

He looked back at her, "I never said yes. I said I'd get back to him."

She held out a kiss, "I think your blood sugar is off, you're not making any sense. You can't just bail at the last minute."

"You haven't met my family" He walked over and bit off half of the kiss in her hand.

She popped the other half into her mouth.

"So what do you say?"

She looked at him in confusion.

"The wedding"

"You just said you weren't going"

"How can I not?"

"A fragment traveled to your brain or something" she said hopping off the counter

"Was that a yes?"

"Are you kidding, do you really think I'd miss meeting the people who unnerve Mr. High and Mighty Eyes Only. You were braver going after Sonrisa."

He gave her a look.

She chuckled to herself.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Want me to meet you after work to get a dress?" he asked as they ate.

"Do you not trust me to dress suitable? Think I'm going to embarrass you?" she said with a tilt of her head, her anger rising.

He laughed, "No I don't want you to have to pay for a dress for an event you're going to suffer at."

"It's a party, it should be fun."

"I wouldn't go that far. These aren't exactly your peeps. These people pride themselves on being snooty."

"Don't talk to me about snooty. With my DNA I'm pretty much a blood relative to everybody who's been anybody, ever. Winston Churchill…Einstein…Pocahontas."

He laughed, "So was that a yes or no about the dress?"

"Do you wanna go shopping?"

"Shopping can be fun."

She tilted her head waiting for more and saw the look behind his eyes and remembered what happened the last time they'd gone shopping together. They'd been walking to the market when Logan decided he wanted to duck into a store…shorts, he'd been looking at a pair of shorts in the window. Next thing she knew she was being pulled into the dressing room…"You're not well enough for that." _His doctor definitely hadn't cleared him that far._

Logan opened his mouth to object, but laughed instead as she started to. "I can carry bags at least."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Max walked back over to Logan with a glass of champagne in her head, she frowned seeing him talking to a blonde that probably would have been pretty if not for the gym teacher haircut. She was pretty sure that was an accurate description of the woman and not just based on the fact that she and Logan were laughing it up and having a good time, _what the hell I've been gone less than five minutes. Calm down Max _she told herself…_There's a good explanation for this and if there's not he can wear the champagne instead of drink it._

"Uh Daphne, this is my girlfriend, Max this is Daphne, my, um…old friend. We went to Yale together."

_Old friend my ass,_ "Hi" Max said with a sugary sweet fake smile plastered on her face.

"Hi."

"She's an amazing artist." Logan said gesturing to Daphne.

"Really," Max was pretty sure she didn't fake interest very well on that one.

"Mm-hmm."

"I've been meaning to tell you how lovely that dress looks on you." Daphne said eyeing her dress.

"Thank you."

"I lusted after it myself, but…saw the price tag and got sticker shock." _(Max shot a look at Logan, she hadn't even looked at a price tag while they'd been shopping, which had been pretty easy to do since nothing she tried on had any.)_ I guess I'll just have to stick with my Allegra Versace for another decade."

Her pager went off in her purse, "Excuse me." She said with another fake smile and started thinking of ways to kill Logan as she walked away.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She looked down at the painting that she had fought about with Logan as Daphne caught the bouquet.

_Art is never as impressive as people make it out to be. Especially considering I had to miss cake for this bad boy. Being Eyes Only girlfriend had some serious downfalls, first I get to wait in the car as he went into the medical examiners for what exactly he didn't say and I'm not about to ask. Then the next thing I know as we're pulling up to the airport, and he's going "Max, I need a favor." Freakin lucky as all hell all he wanted me to do was swipe a painting. It was kinda almost hot seeing him plant that gun on that creep though… _

Logan starts to walk up behind Max, her posture stiffens, "You can't still be mad about the dress"

Max turns and looks at him, "How much was it?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "Did you see how my family lives Max?"

"So you were ashamed of me." she cocks her head

Logan groans, "No that's not what I meant, I meant I have the money Max. You look unbelievable in this dress." He says placing a hand on her pulling her close.

She glares at him, no way in hell giving up her anger that easily, "What about Daphne?"

"What about her?" he frowns.

"Every time I turned around you were with her."

He chuckles, "Needed company since you kept running out on me…Anyway, she dumped me, never gave a reason." he shrugs his shoulders.

"I could give you several." she finally smiles

He laughs again and shakes his head, obvious that he enjoyed her jealousy.

"Did you find out?"

"Not really. Though I gotta say the way she was hanging with Original Cindy…That might be a clue."

"It's a large life." she smiles

"Yes. It is." he smiles back.

"So did I tell you I liked your speech?"

He smiles, "You missed me saying marriage was an act of desperation."

Max laughs, still in his arms, it brings them closer together. "They seem really happy" she says softly.

He nods; "They are" he bent down his head and kissed her.

* * *

**Yea okay having some serious issues with this story. It's just not workin for me. Like at all. Not really sure why, it's just workin less and less with each chapter I try to write. Hopefully it'll clear up soon, but I think I've been saying that for awhile. Sorry. **


	29. Domesticity

**See NiteMan that's my problem, the Max and Logan aren't the Max and Logan from Art attack, I'm going for Max and Logan which are similar to other episodes hell even possibly moments from the next season. I think I might be getting better though guys (so less complaining) because it's starting to be less transcripty I think, I hope. Oh well at least I'm not cursing this chapter and I didn't stop three million times writing it.**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 29**

She woke up confused, she was unsure why as she stretched a hand across Logan's chest.

"Good morning"

She looked up startled to see him smiling down, wide awake; she gave him a confused look. _Why was he up so early? _The only time he ever woke up before her was in the hospital, she'd wake him up sometimes getting up, but he was never awake before her…She smiled…Okay well sometimes he was, but that wasn't the look she was getting.

"It's just after seven" he said still smiling, "I think you were tired."

"You're pulling my leg right?"

He shook his head, "Been awake watching you sleep since for a good ten minutes."

She laughed and used his chest to push herself up, "You were watching me sleep?"

"Seeing you sleep is like seeing a blue sunrise."

She laughed, "Well the good news is, you're awake to cook me breakfast for once." He'd try to feed her at her apartment, but their stash of food was never anything to talk about.

"I live to serve you" he joked pushing back the covers.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She sat on the toilet brushing her teeth watching Logan standing in a pair of blue plaid pajama bottoms doing the same.

_This is just odd,_ she thought to herself. _Yup entirely too domestic_, she thought as she stood and walked over to spit, he moved to the side as he continued. She looked up into the mirror as she continued on. He smiled toothbrush in mouth, his eyes twinkled as he saw her watching them. She couldn't help but smile back at his hair going in every direction like normal, but also flattened in spots, his eyes glassless. She'd tried his glasses on before, his vision wasn't that bad, things for him were just slightly blurry when he didn't wear them, he hadn't gone out to the living room to retrieve them before heading into the bathroom. She realized her hair wasn't looking too great either after being up for most of the night and more than just a little hairspray; at least the leftover eyeliner and mascara hadn't left her with raccoon eyes. Logan spit and started to rinse his mouth and stood back as Max did the same.

"Good morning" Logan said placing a hand on her back and pulling her close as they finished.

She smiled as they separated, still tasting the mintiness of his mouth lingering in her own. _Yup waaay too domestic._

"So what are you in the mood for? Not eggs, I think there are only two. So pancakes, waffles? I think I have bacon still."

"Ooh bacon"

His eyes crinkled in the corners at her, "Pancakes or waffles to go with that Miss?"

"Are you kidding? Waffles" she said with a shake of her head.

He continued his server role, "Coming right up."

"Umm Logan" she called up just as he was leaving the bathroom.

He turned back

"You should probably put on a shirt before you try cooking the bacon." She smiled thinking of hearing his screams as the fat attacked him, but loved his body way too much to risk damaging it even the slightest bit.

He looked down and smiled again "Good call"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Is Logan feeling okay?" Kendra asked from the couch as Max walked into the apartment a few hours later carrying her dress.

"Yea" she said confused, Logan had been fine for two weeks, doctor clearanced for over a week.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked before she took a sip of her coffee

"Yea fine" she said shaking her head unable to understand where her roommate was going with this.

"It's almost ten thirty Max"

"I've been at Logan's this late before" she draped her dress over the couch.

"Yea Max when Logan decided to play knight in shining armor and when the boy was shot. So once more I'm asking are you sure Logan's okay?"

Max laughed, "Yea, he's fine. I stayed for breakfast." Max dropped onto the sofa next to Kendra and made a face, "Oh jesus…" Max said raising a hand to cover her nose from the offending smell, "That smells nasty." Max stood and crossed the room.

Kendra took a sniff of her coffee and made a face, "You're getting spoiled Max. It smells no nastier than usual. But you know you'd think you'd swipe some coffee from lover boy's apartment every once in awhile. Share the love."

"I'll try to remember that." she smiled grabbing her dress and walking into her room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_Six grand on a dress, _Max shakes her head hanging up the dress. _Then again, _Max walks over to her dresser and looks at the Bast statue that had turned up again one morning after Logan had stayed over.

_These are the kind of reminders that show just how different Logan and I are. We don't belong in each other's worlds as much as we might want to. _

She walks back over to the dress and pulls it out slightly, _All of this is gonna end one day, it can't last. We've proven that. This will all be over soon. All I'm gonna be left with are memories and probably a pretty broken heart. Oh well like _ _Logan__ said, at least it's not today._

She sighed pushing the dress back in the closet and tried not to think of tomorrow.


	30. Slummin

* * *

**Chapter Thirty**

_Slummin'_

* * *

Crash was loud and dirty; just how she loved it, not to mention Logan was there doing his normal charming bs routine with all of her peeps. How that man found things in common with Sketch she'd never know, but he did, time and time again he did.

She took a moment to allow her eyes to roll over him as he clearly focused hard trying to catch all of Herbal's words. Not that he'd changed or anything in the seven months they'd been together, but still he was nice to look at. Especially since, he so clearly had the taken sticker across him. Those grayish green eyes of his would find her every few minutes, eyes would twinkle or lips would raise up in a smile if their eyes managed to connect. Jealousy and envy were two clear looks she was used to getting when they'd be out together and tonight was no exception.

It was clear to all that Logan didn't belong in a messenger bar, the fact that his dress was similar to others here made no difference, the jeans and black tee shirt didn't help him blend it. Then again that might be because they were immaculate, no holes, no stains, no slightly funky odors because booze rated higher than the Laundromat. The intelligence behind those glasses couldn't be hidden as he talked to others and observed the scene. The way he held his body, his perfect posture…

She smiled again watching him. He stood out so clearly here, yet she'd seen him come in off the streets after gathering some Eyes Only Intel...

"Stop checkin out your boo, boo" Original Cindy said walking up to Max.

"I wasn't checkin him out" she gave a little smile, "I was making sure he didn't need a translator with Herbal."

"Mmmhmm Sug. So what's the dealio with this shit?"

"Gonna have to clarify."

Kendra poked her head into the conversation, "She's asking, why if things are so blissful with Ken"

Max shook her head at their Ken Doll description of Logan, their latest in a long list, moneybags, hot boy, Ritchie Rich, sugar daddy, it just went on and on, "He has a name."

"The point is why the hell are you still slumming it down here?" Original Cindy said ignoring Max.

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen his apartment." Cindy said

Kendra cut in, "And I live in ours" she made a face.

"Are you trying to kick me out?" Max asked with a slight shake of her head.

Kendra shook her head, "We just don't understand why you're still here."

"Logan and I aren't like that."

"Why not is the question?" Kendra said shaking her head.

"Hush up girl, he's coming over." Original Cindy said silencing her co-conspirator.

"Hey girls mind if I borrow Max for a minute?"

"She's all yours." Kendra said sweetly with a wave of her hand granting him access to Max.

He placed a hand on Max's elbow and drew her out of the circle she'd been engulfed in and across the room. "You looked like you needed saving." He smiled once they were far enough away the others wouldn't hear him.

"Yea I did." She shook her head over her friends' insanity.

"How are you feeling?" He asked raising a hand up to her cheek.

"I'm good." She nodded, "Meds workin." She'd felt a seizure coming on earlier, she'd felt it coming all week, but she'd been popping pills constantly fighting it off. Only the lethargy remained with a few occasional slight tremors. Logan's never-ending supply of Tryptophan had proved more than helpful in keeping the seizures at bay for the past few months.

"Sure you don't want to go home and crash?"

"You trying to get out of another 'It's all good' conversation with Herbal?"

He smiled and she knew he liked them; after all, Herbal was the only one Logan could have any type of philosophical discussion with.

"Max," Sketchy's voice called over, "we're out of beer."

She shook her head watching him drain the last few drops into his mouth before shaking the pitcher to prove his point, "Guess that means it's my turn."

"I'll walk you." He smiled

"Gee thanks." She gave a little smirk that settled into a smile.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She pressed her body into his side and rested her head down on his shoulder.

He dropped his head down in confusion for a brief moment, anything PDA was not Max. "Hey are you okay?" He asked raising up his other hand to touch her cheek.

"Feeling a little punk." She admitted weakly.

"Let's get out of here then." He said placing his hand on her waist before he stood so he could continue to support her.

They quickly said their goodbyes and Max was infinitely grateful Logan had met them at the bar so his car was outside instead of outside of her building like usual. Then she decided she'd be strong tomorrow as he'd lifted her slightly shaking form into his arms after he'd parked the car, keeping her arms draped around him and her head pressed against his shoulder as he maneuvered through doorways, up stairwells. He lowered her to her feet as they reached her door only because her keys had been inaccessible in her pocket. She sat up on the couch as she took a slow sip of the milk he'd gotten for her and decided letting her guard down every once in awhile wasn't too horrible. Tomorrow though, she'd be a tough girl again, but not right now.


	31. Spoiled

Babyangel: All four within 24 hours. Haha, no complaining for awhile.

Okay fixed the whole email thing. I never pay attention when setting these things up. Thanks for reading guys!

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

**Spoiled**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

The Next Morning:

She was still groggy as he kissed her goodbye, swearing she'd be okay and he could go meet his informant, after all it's not like those things could be easily rearranged.

"How are you feeling?" Kendra asked a few minutes later rubbing her eyes, walking into her room still in the long red plaid shirt she'd slept in.

"He wake you up before he left?" Max said pushing herself up as Kendra fell into bed with her.

"Uh huh" she yawned.

"I'm sorry" Max laughed.

"Being shot did wonders for that boy." Kendra said lying on Logan's now vacated pillow, "Well if you like all the cuddly and sweet stuff."

"He's not that bad." She smiled as she shook her head.

"Haha" Kendra said rolling over, "You like it."

"I do not" she pulled the pillow from underneath her own head and slammed Kendra in the head with it. "Now stop making fun of me."

"Oww" Kendra raised a hand up to her head as the pillow lifted off.

"That's what you get for talking shit about me." Max joked as her slightly hung-over friend rubbed her head.

"You're the only person who gets embarrassed by having a boyfriend every other female would die for."

"He's definitely not bad I'll give you that." Max said lowering herself back down to her pillows, today was definitely a lazy day as had been the rest of the week, at least now she'd gotten her seizure over with, maybe she'd start feeling better.

"Not bad?" Kendra questioned looking over at the dresser where the statue of Bast rested.

"Okay definitely slightly above average."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

They got up some time later for breakfast, of course not before they had both napped in Max's bed. It had been a loud snore/snort from Kendra that had awoken Max and caused her to shove her friend so she almost went flying off the bed.

"I can't believe Logan left without feeding us." Kendra said peering into their vacant fridge as Max checked out the cupboards.

Max smiled, _nice to know _ _Logan__ hadn't spoiled only her._ "I don't even think Logan could do anything with what we have. Cream of Wheat?" Max made a face pulling down the box.

"I think we've had that every single day this week." Kendra said with a downcast expression

"Only six."

"That makes it so much better. We're finding Cocoa Puffs or Trix today if it kills us."

Max laughed as she took out a pot.

"You drinking coffee today?" Kendra asked pulling out the canister.

Max replied with a face.

"Seriously…Spoiled Max" she said dropping heaping tablespoons into the pot.

"That stuff is just vile, even the thought of it." Max shuddered.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Okay seriously," Max said as she started to smell the coffee percolating, "that stuff is disgusting. Open a window or something."

"It's really not that bad Max." Kendra rolled her eyes

She frowned and stirred the cream of wheat on the stove.

Kendra poured her coffee sending the aroma flying through the air even more as Max was spooning out their breakfast; Max tried to ignoring the rolling in her stomach and started breathing through her mouth.

"Oh come on Max, it's really not that bad." Kendra said seeing her reaction as she put the bowls down at the table.

"No" Max shook her head and covered her nose and mouth as Kendra walked closer with the cup, "Trust me it really is."

"Take a sip" Kendra said shoving the cup closer to her.

"I don't think so." Max said taking a step back.

"Max Guevara, I have never seen you this scared of anything. You take a sip of this coffee missy and show me you're not a snob."

The challenge had been set and they both knew there was no way Max would back down, she lowered her hand and made a quivering face as she took the cup. She tried to ignore the smell as she raised the cup up to her lips, she lingered like an idiot and the nausea grew within her until she finally took a small sip and swallowed quickly.

"See now was that so bad" Kendra smiled.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" Max nodded before she took off.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Wow, you really weren't being a brat." Kendra greeted Max as she walked out of the bathroom without the offensive coffee cup.

"You couldn't have figured that out before you made me ralph?" Max asked weakly, "What the hell are they putting in that coffee?"

"It still tastes the exact same to me."

_We're gonna find out in a few weeks, someone's been poisoning Seattle through our 'coffee' supply, I should probably mention this to Logan,_ Max thought as she looked across the room to the food she'd lost all appetite for.

"Maybe you have a bug" Kendra suggested.

"A bug that only shows itself when fake coffee is around?" Max said sliding into the seat and raising a spoonful of the mush up to her mouth. She smacked her lips after swallowing it, _really not the kinda thing to be putting in you after tossing up stuff that looked eerily similar to it._

"It's only coffee?" Kendra asked

"Only fake coffee." Max said forcing down another bite.

"That is odd." She taking a bite of her own food and desperately missing the coffee she had just poured down the drain.

Max nodded, _odd and annoying._

"Maybe you're pregnant." She said out of the blue.

Max's eyes slowly raised up from their attention on the bowl and looked across at Kendra.

"Okay well I'm guessing from that look it's a no way in hell."

"I'm on the pill."

"That doesn't mean anything Max, how do you think I got my little sister?"

"I'm not pregnant."

Kendra wasn't letting the subject go that easily, "When was your last period?"

_I cannot believe I'm being forced to have this discussion over Cream of Wheat,_ "I skipped it, did you see how cranky Logan was not getting any?" The end of their two week forced abstinence...they had definitely made up for lost time.

"So the last time you got your period was…"

"Seriously I'm trying to eat."

"Humor me Max."

"I don't know like 6 weeks?"

"You sure you didn't miss any pills? I mean Logan was shot."

"I don't know I might have, like you said Logan was shot." she said with attitude.

"Max think."

Suddenly fear crept into Max's mind, "Uh, I don't know. I don't think so. Everything was just…I don't think I came home the day Logan was shot."

"You didn't. You called from the hospital."

"I didn't take one the day before either." She realized, she hadn't had the pills at the cabin, she hadn't taken a pill since six the day before, her set time.

"And you and Logan?"

She nodded, "That night."

"Hey," Kendra said trying to reassure her friend, "it's probably nothing."

Max nodded blankly, _Oh god I can't have been this stupid._

_

* * *

Really random question if anyone wants to answer...Max had a table at her place right? I'm pretty sure there was a table when Kendra/Max cooked Logan dinner, but I keep thinking with Joshua that they ate at the counter. Of course, I really didn't pay that much attention to either and I'm so too lazy to go dig through the dvds to find the answer. Thanks.  
_


	32. Denial

Babyangel: You're getting your butt whooped missy for pointing out those details…Close enough to 24 hours…Fine 4 stories in like 30 hours, five chapters in just a few more of that. Still totally counts.

LillyPad: Haha, I did a paper on that while I was in high school. That would never happen in a world with Eyes Only though, he'd never stand for it.

_Thanks for the table help people! You're all so knowledgeable. _

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 32 **

**Denial **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"No" she shook her head again, "I can't be."

"That's not what the test says." Kendra said sliding down onto the tiles next to her.

She shook her head, she couldn't be this stupid. _She couldn't have been._ Basic biology that a normal 14 year old would know.

"You know Max, maybe this isn't so bad. Logan"

"No" Max shook her head. _Oh god, she couldn't even hear _ _Logan__'s name_. "This can't be happening." She closed her eyes wishing away the whole scene. Wishing away going into three different pharmacies with Kendra looking for the damn test that had just told her what a screw up she was. "I can't be pregnant." She said opening her now glistening eyes; she wouldn't let the tears fall, she couldn't.

"You don't have to be Max." Kendra said wrapping an arm around her.

"I know" she jerkily nodded.

"But Logan"

" Logan would be great" she nodded, knowing where her friend was going with her words. She was the screw up in this situation not him.

"You don't need to think about this now Max."

There was no thinking involved though, _she knew what she had to do_. She shook her head, "I can't be pregnant." She said weakly.

"I'm here for you no matter what." Kendra said holding on tighter.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The building's roof (that night):

"I'm sorry" she apologized with a hand on her stomach; she looked down and realized what she was doing and quickly pulled back her hand. "Nothing but a few cells. Less than an inch. Half an inch actually. You're not a person, just a few cells." She couldn't let herself think of this as a baby. _A weird prehistoric sea creature._ She couldn't think of anything else, she couldn't allow herself. She wouldn't be able to survive if she let herself.

"How could I have been so stupid?" she asked herself for the millionth time that day. She replayed the events that had led up this. Going over to Logan's to dinner, making love, leaving before the sun came up…Diving into the car, the ride that was taking her away from her forever, the desperate and tender moments that they had thought were their last, the soft kiss on her head as he whispered _'I love you.' _They would have been their last moments if he hadn't been shot, she would have realized weeks ago that she was pregnant. She would have been completely alone and on the road as she had always been. _She probably already wouldn't be pregnant anymore. _

In a normal world this would only be a slight tragedy. She could have this baby and Logan forever. She wouldn't have to be on the run, she wouldn't have to worry that each night would be her last in a free world.

"I'm sorry." She said crumpling down, her arms crossed over her stomach.

"I'd get you killed or worse raised in Manticore." She said to the life that would soon cease existing within her.

She couldn't do it, she knew that.

She couldn't stay in Seattle, they'd come back looking for her, it was only a matter of time. How could she manage to be pregnant and on the run from Lydecker? Every step would just be worse, on the run large as a whale, on the run with a newborn, a toddler, a little child who wouldn't be able to make friends…That's if she could even make it that long…She knew eventually he'd find her.

Her beeper went off; she pulled it out of the sweatshirt's pouch. She saw Logan's number as she hit it off. She curled tighter into a ball, wondering how she was ever going to be able to look him in the eye again. She should just leave. Leave as soon as it was over. She didn't want to though. _She didn't want to do anything of the things she knew she had to._


	33. Comfort

Babyangel: Yea don't think the goading's gonna work for awhile. I spent all weekend flipping between the stories trying to figure out which one to write next because they all had the exact same # of reviews. I couldn't focus on one on my own, let alone four. Though I'm sure in the future I will try again. And I'm not angsty all of a sudden. I gave everyone the choice to stop the story or to go where I originally intended to take it. So therefore I resolve myself of any guilt. :-D

**AN: Okay so I've gotten this a few times, so let me actually respond to it in this story. Yes, this story is going to be completed to the ending I had originally planned for it. Me and it just have a few issues, so it's been stopped on more than one occasion, but the ending has been written and eventually so will all the chapters that lead up to it. Thanks for reading! **

* * *

**_Episode: _**

_Rising (no Reds because there was no Bruno) _

**_Missing Scene: _**

_Max finding Kendra and Walter (It was ewwy we all know that, we don't need to revisit it further). _

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 33 **

**Comfort **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

She made her way up to Logan's. She shouldn't be going there. Even just for his sake, if he knew what she was planning on doing he'd hate her; he'd never want to see her again.

_No_, she shook her head, realizing that was a lie. Logan would see the logical reasons behind what she had to do. _He would understand_, he would still hate her, but he would understand. The last thing Mr. Eyes Only did was expect the world to be a fairy tale.

She needed him. She was weak. She had no choice but to admit it. She was weak and pretty sure she was getting hormonal. Finding Kendra with Walter…Ugh…Okay that was kinda at the same level as coffee in her book. Calling OC though to bitch and being reminded that her girl had left her all alone with Normal…She'd wanted to celebrate at Crash and Max suddenly just wanted Logan. She wanted Logan and to forget everything going on. Otherwise, she was going to break down and cry.

He didn't hear her slip in, didn't see her watching him as he did crunches on the living room floor. He was completely back to normal. She would have never believed how close he came to death less than two months ago if she hadn't been there.

She watched him, hidden just out of his sight. The gray shirt darker in spots and black track pants informed her he had just been running. He had gone insane during his strictly enforced convalescent, the last thing Logan was is inactive. He wasn't insane about working out, his body showed that. He worked out for strength and health, both physical and mental. His abs didn't ripple, his arms didn't bulge; he was just strong. That was the only way for her to describe him, _strong and safe_, as he'd carried her into her apartment last week she had never felt more secure.

"Hey have a good run?" she asked walking further into the room.

He looked up slightly startled at the voice, "No rain's always a good run." He looked slightly confused as he stood, "Did I forget something?"

She laughed and realized she was over hours earlier than she would normally show up, "Nope just caught Kendra doing Walter and I need to get as far away as possible."

'Walter?" Once more he looked confused as he realized she expected him to know the name, he retrieved his glasses from the table, "Wait Walter Eastep, the officer that was"

"Six hundred a month, yea that Walter."

Logan made a face, "But Kendra's so…"

"What not fifty? Not fat, not disgusting? A little off her rocker…I think today we might have proven she is."

He shook his head walking over to the kitchen and pouring a glass of water, "I can see why you'd need to escape. So did you want to go out?"

"Stay in" she cursed herself for responding so eagerly. She'd been doing her best since Logan had been given a clean bill of health to not spend so much alone time with him. Normally if they were alone in the apartment, it was a late dinner, followed by early bed as she tried to avoid becoming any more dependent on him.

"Let me go shower" he said with a nod.

"I'll be raiding your fridge."

She stared into the fridge for a while, before moving onto the cupboards and looking at the sickeningly sweet treats he always found for her. She took one down and stared at it for a moment before leaving it on the counter to go join Logan. Comfort foods weren't the kind of comfort she needed right now.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She lay on the couch in his robe, her damp hair soaking the pillow that rested on his lap so she could easily see the tv. She was eerily still not even registering what was being said on the evening news. She had almost started to cry in the shower and the tears were threatening to brim as Logan's hand rested gently on the side of her waist.

He'd looked up saying her name, he always said her name; they both did. They never used endearments unless they were said jokingly and the words 'I love you' had only been said once and by him. He had looked up though as he had been trailing kisses down her body as the water beat down upon them, he had given her a wickedly charming look as he'd reached her stomach and she'd wanted to cry.

Wanted to scream the reason he'd hate her, wanted to scream that beneath his kiss lay a part of him that she was going to destroy. _It was nothing_, she kept telling herself, the tip of her thumb in size. So what if it didn't look like sea creature anymore and more of an alien and looking remarkably more human with each passing day. So what as she felt the flick of Logan's tongue against her belly if what lay beneath it had a tongue and lips too?

She didn't though, she blinked away the tears that started to form in her eyes and they were hidden by the water as she pulled him back up to her.

"You okay?" he asked her now raising up his hand to brush the wet strands of hair.

"Yea, just thinking about how much work sucks without Original Cindy there. Herbal and Sketch tried but they just aren't her."

"Where's Original Cindy?"

She knocked her head up to look at him, "She got a new job. Didn't I tell you?"

"You were preoccupied with Kendra and Walter."

"Ugh" Max face, "I'd almost forgotten."

"Sorry" he laughed looking down at her. "I thought she was really into that Mr. Multiples guy."

Max closed her eyes and laughed, poor Logan was subjected to hearing way too much girl talk at the apartment and Crash, not to mention the notes Kendra would leave announcing her plans. "Walter's" Max bit back the bile that threatened to escape as she said these words, "Mr. Multiples."

Logan's face showed his disbelief, "That guy? Twelve hours?"

She laughed, seeing the competitive nature being brought out in Logan, "I know, he has to be just lying there. He would have a heart attack otherwise."

He laughed coming out of his thoughts and brushed back her hair again, "Let's just hope they kept it only in her bedroom."

"Ugh" Max's mouth opened and her head fell back to the side, her living room, her kitchen, her shower…_Naked Walter_…"I've got to buy a lot of bleach and rubber gloves."

Logan laughed again above her.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She stood outside the clinic the next day after work. She'd walked by it several times in the past week. Kendra had offered to go with her, but Max had repeatedly refused. Explaining to the doc, how she was going to be willing to go through with an abortion, but not have her blood drawn was going to be tricky enough without having to explain it to her roommate also.

She walked in to the crowded waiting room and made her way over to the desk, "Max Guevara," she said softly approaching the receptionist, "I have an appointment."

She looked down at the book in front of her and nodded, "Should be about a half hour, have a seat."

She nodded and headed towards a seat making sure to avoid eye contact with anyone.


	34. No Turning Back

* * *

**Episode: **_The Kidz Are Aiight _

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 34**

**No Turning Back **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

She picked up a chicken at the market. She didn't know why she was doing this to herself, but she was. She was sitting in Logan's with him, a glass of wine in front of her as they waited for the timer to buzz. _You're a masochist, _she told herself.

It was the only explanation; well that and she needed him. She needed his words, his warmth, and his strength to make it through the night because she couldn't face what came the day after tomorrow.

Two mornings from now was her appointment. _Her final appointment. _The first appointment had confirmed her pregnancy and how far along she was, there was no doubt in her mind that the same day Logan had told her he loved her they had created life. Poetic justice or something like that, it showed exactly who she was and the life she was forced to live.

"You okay?" he asked drawing her out of her thoughts.

She looked over and nodded, "Why?"

"You've barely touched your wine."

"Oh" she focused her attention down on the glass and forced it up to her lips. She'd stopped drinking, she didn't know why but she had. Maybe she couldn't bear the thought of doing anymore damage…She closed her eyes briefly in pain, hoping to hide it from Logan.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked standing and kissing her head before walking over to the buzzing oven.

"Yea" she nodded again, "OC's back at work, only had one run in with Walter since…" she shuddered for effect, but not even that was reaching her today. What she thought about was how Kendra was coming with her, refusing to listen to Max swear she'd be able to make it home on her own. She thought about the excuses Kendra would make over the phone to Normal telling her why Max wouldn't be able to come in because there hadn't been any weekend appointments available.

"Max?" Logan called out to her.

She looked up and over confused.

"Phone's ringing, can you get it."

"Yea" she said with a shake of her head.

* * *

_Missing Scenes: _

_Rescuing Zack, going back to _ _Logan__'s, going to _ _Portland__ to help out Tinga. _

* * *

_Max's Apartment, the following night:_

"Max" Kendra said coming out of her room after hearing a crash, "Are you okay?"

"I don't think so" Max said as she braced herself on the counter with one hand as the other covered her stomach. Something had been off for the past hour, halfway through her ride home, _something had just been off_. The pain hadn't hit her until she'd hopped off her bike outside the building, she struggled to keep the bike upright as she pushed it in. Finally though a blindingly painful cramp hit her and sent it crashing to the floor.

"Let's get you to the hospital." Kendra said slipping an arm around Max and supporting her weight instead of the counter.

"No" Max said shaking her head, "Nothing they can do, this just saves me some dough."

"Max you need a doctor."

"Not for this" she said shaking her head, "I'll go tomorrow I promise. I just want my bed now."

"Max"

"Please" she looked over with tears in her eyes.

Kendra nodded and helped Max across the room, "Let me call Logan." She said pushing back Max's hair after she was hit with another cramp.

Max shook her head again.

"Hey, what's going on out here?" Walter asked emerging from Kendra's room clad only in grey boxers and a white tee shirt.

"Nothing," Kendra said shaking her head, "Max just isn't feeling well."

"Anything I can do?"

"We're fine, just go back to bed."

Walter retreated, while glancing back and eyeing the scene suspiciously, as Kendra finished helping Max into her room.

" Logan would want to be with you Max." She said as Max curled up in a ball on her bed.

"This doesn't make it better," she said shaking her head. The end result was going to be the same, whether it had been from her actions last night and tonight or what she had going to be doing tomorrow.

"Let him be with you Max." she said brushing back her hair. "Don't go through this alone."

She shook her head and curled tighter in a ball as another wave of pain washed over her. She wouldn't do that to him, she wouldn't make him grieve, she wouldn't allow him to look at her with sympathy when she deserved his disgust. _She deserved this pain, just like she deserved his hatred_. "I'm fine, just go back to bed." She said shaking her head.

"I'm not leaving you alone Max."

"I'll call you if I need you, I swear." Max said looking up at her, grimacing as her stomach twisted again.

"Max?"

"Please, I just want to be alone."

Kendra nodded reluctantly, "Can I get you anything?"

"The phone?" she asked remembering she needed to call Logan.

Kendra nodded as she walked out to grab the phone, "You promise you'll yell." She asked as she handed over the phone.

Max nodded.

"Okay" she said finally leaving Max alone.

She punched in Logan's number, with one hand as the other remained firmly over her stomach.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me just checkin in."

"Everything go alright?"

"Yea, fine." She bit her lip and gripped the phone tighter as pain spread over her again.

"You okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine. Just tired. Haven't slept in a few days."

"Get some rest then, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Night Logan."

"Night Max."

She hit end on the phone and pushed it away from her. The sharp cramps continued for awhile as she curled up further trying to lessen the pain. "I'm sorry" She cried bringing the other hand back down to her stomach. She kept repeating the words as tears streamed down onto the bed until finally, the pain started to lessen and she passed out from exhaustion.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She awoke to "Hey sweetie," as Kendra was pushing the hair out of her face, "how are you feeling?"

"Better" Max said blankly.

"Your appointment's in an hour. Thought we should get some food into you before we go. I already called an explained."

Max nodded and swallowed hard.

"Morning Ladies" Walter said appearing in Max's doorway with two mugs in his hands. "Hope you're feeling better Max, made you some morning joe."

The smell hit her even before he'd reached the bed and she shot up and out of the room as quickly as possible, making it to the bathroom just in time.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Max" Kendra banged on the door when Max didn't emerge within a few moments of the toilet flushing.

She came out with a hand over her stomach.

"Max are you?" she said looking down at the stomach covered hand.

"I don't know" she said shaking her head, looking scared and confused. Hormones would have explained the vomiting, but there should have definitely been more evidence...

"Just come sit down." She said wrapping an arm around Max.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She stood on the Needle looking out onto the city. The doctor's words still floating around her mind, 'a warning to take it easy,' 'you got lucky,' and 'the baby's telling you to rest.' _So here she was still pregnant…_

"Okay kiddo, I hope you know what you're doing sticking around." She said dropping a hand to her stomach.

"You want a chance though," she nodded, "and I guess I owe it to you to give you one. We're gonna have to leave soon." She looked down at her stomach for a moment before out onto the night sky and everything that was still out there chasing her. "Soon," she nodded again, "before Logan finds out." She winced saying the name.

"I'm sorry" she rubbed her stomach, "I'm gypping you out of a really good daddy. He would have loved you. We can't do that to him though." She swallowed hard, "Maybe one day things'll be different."

She pulled out her beeper and looked at the time, she was going to be late for dinner if she didn't leave now. She took a deep breath and turned. _There was no going back._

* * *

Babyangel, don't be cranky with me…If I had a single story I could major fluff chapter for right now without throwing the story completely off I would. I'm just trying to do what I think Max would do and Bob agrees and Gingersnap supports and Raeroark is breathing a sigh of relief along with you now :-D 

Thanks for reading and reviewing you guys!


	35. Just Life

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 35 **

**Just Life **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

* * *

_Post Episode: Female Trouble _

_(Yea _ _Logan__ wouldn't have had any contact with Vertes so all of that gets skipped) _

* * *

"Hey you paged?" She said walking into Logan's apartment. 

"Yea you didn't need to come right over."

She shrugged her shoulders and threw down her bag before his lips covered hers. "You did not just call me out of work for that did you?" she asked looking up with her eyes twinkling.

He laughed, "No actually I wanted you to take a look at a picture for me."

She followed him over to his desk and took the black and white security camera picture; it was of a photograph of a woman. Max looked down and then up at Logan, _was she supposed to know the woman? _

"Adriana Vertes M.D." he said when her face held no recognition, "Went to Johns Hopkins, she was killed last week. Her office was shot up before it was burned to the ground. Several others in the adjoining buildings died in the fire."

"Sucks, but what does that have to do with me?"

"You sure you don't recognize her?" he asked frowning

She glanced down at the picture, "No." she shook her head again and handed the picture back over.

"I think she might have worked for Manticore."

Suddenly Max looked across at the picture now upside down in Logan's hand and connected the face to another, the eyes above the surgical mask, she involuntary dropped a hand down to protect her child, but quickly pulled it away as she realized what she had done. "She broke little kids' bones."

He nodded, "That would seem to go with her specialty. You okay?"

"Yea" she nodded even though her mind was suddenly flooded with what could happen to not only her again in the future, but to their child. "So Manticore's in town?" _Time to go,_ her inner voice told her.

"I think only for her. Just thought I should give you the heads up. You sure you're okay? You look kind of pale." He cupped the side of her face.

She shook her head, "Bad memories. Being six," she said shaking her head, "and having someone break your leg on purpose. Not my idea of fun."

"I can imagine. Breaking my arm trying to run across the monkey bars wasn't exactly what I'd call fun, but at least I deserved it."

"Running across the monkey bars?"

"Not one of my brighter moments" he said shaking his head and walking away.

She smiled at the thought of Logan as a little boy and once more kept her hand from slipping down.

"Coffee?" He asked as he went to grab down a mug.

She shook her head; the real stuff had followed the same route as the fake stuff, though luckily she could still be in the same room as it. She attributed her recent switch to milk in the mornings to helping keep her serotonin in check. "I have 15 minutes until Normal starts blowing up my pager trying to figure out why I'm not back and you're interested in coffee?" she fake offended.

"Sorry" he smiled putting down the mug and moving towards her.

"Stay away from Manticore Logan." She said as he was upon her. "They'll kill you without a second thought. You're already ready on their list of enemies. Don't push them."

He nodded.

* * *

_Episode: Haven _

* * *

Max Voiceover (Cape Haven-Logan chopping wood, Max watching): 

_Plaid_. How can one man look so sexy in flannel? Can't even see his muscles through the shirt, though the ease in which he raises the axe…Okay mind out of the gutter Max.

"Shouldn't this be your job?" Logan asks turning to me where I've been sitting and watching him chop wood for the past twenty minutes.

"Why are you getting tired?" I smile.

He gives me a look, macho man has kicked in again, "Not at all, just thought girls kicked ass." The corners of his lips raise in a slight smile.

"We do, we just don't chop wood." Okay maybe we would if you didn't look so good doing it.

He laughs as he turns his attention back to the wood.

I take a long sip of water watching him. A pop a pill as I think he isn't looking, fighting the slight tremors that have been coursing through me on and off since we got here. They woke me up from my nap yesterday…_God naps, how embarrassing._ Kid, you don't know what you're doing to me, first no caffeine, no booze, but I mean honestly all this sleep? Then again, the sleep seems to be a pretty big part of the no yakking, so then again maybe it's not too bad. Of course trying to explain to Logan all of the sleeping…Just like explaining the barely sipped beer as we shot pool for awhile last night. Luckily, he's easy to distract.

He slammed the axe into the chopping block before he turned, "Are you okay?"

"Fine" I say shaking my head; apparently, I wasn't as slick as I thought I was.

"Maybe you should go lie down."

"I haven't even been out of bed for two hours."

His eyes check me out and he has no choice but to believe me. He starts to pick up some wood to carry into the house. I smile as I walk over to him and stack more onto his pile.

"Thanks" he says with a condescending smile

"Anything to help." I start walking back to the cabin, "So any idea how to make Herman talk?"

"Tried the moral card."

"That doesn't work." I say knowing from experience

"You caved."

"I only caved because I'm partial to that body of yours being in one piece." I smile as I hold the door open for him. "Don't think that's gonna work for old Herman though...Then again you are pretty cute. Might be able to talk him into switching teams."

The wood drops to the floor pretty quick and he gets his way and I end up back in bed. _Damn I love vacations. _

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Max's apartment (In her bedroom unpacking): 

"So'd you spring the news as you lay in front of the fire?" Kendra says walking into the room.

"For the millionth time, I'm not telling him and neither are you."

"Max, you know he's gonna figure it out sooner or later."

"I'll be gone by then." She finally revealed, knowing Kendra wasn't going to let the subject drop. "My brother, he's been after me to leave Seattle."

"You have a brother?"

"An incredibly overprotective big brother."

"I can't believe you've never mentioned him before."

"Yea, well there are a lot of things about my past I'd rather forget." She said honestly, not that she didn't love all of her family, just how she got her family.

"You're not really going to leave are you?"

"I've got to. Family stuff." She shrugged her shoulders, "You've got to promise me you won't tell Logan Kendra."

"Max it's his baby too."

"Kendra?"

"Fine, I promise," she concedes, "You'll come back though right?"

"I'll try" Max nods, but knowing that the answer is most likely no.

* * *

_Episode: Shorties In Love _

* * *

Crash: 

'_Men_,' she thought as she saw Sketchy almost drop the pitcher of beer as he froze seeing Diamond kiss Original Cindy. She turned to laugh about his reaction with Logan, but as she turned, her mouth dropped open slightly and she glared as she saw Logan's eyes focused on the same event. "You've got to be kidding me," she muttered.

Logan guiltily turned back to her.

"It is not his fault" Herbal began his preach, "Women are Jah's most beautiful creation."

"Yea and two women together…" Sketch shook his head as he started filling up his glass, took a long swallow instead of continuing on.

She shook her head and took a small sip from her glass instead of continuing on, Logan's phone buzzed and she knew that their night was over. Something about the Marbury cartel…

"I gotta go" he apologized without even answering the phone. "I'm sorry"

"It's all good" she said with a wave of the hand and wished she could take a long swallow from the glass in her hand. _Damn hormones were making her bitchy and she had no defense against it. _

"Bye" he said the group, "It was nice meeting you, Diamond." He nodded in her direction. "I'll talk to you later." He said dropping a kiss down to Max's lips before raising the phone up to his ear.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Kendra and Max's Living Room two nights later: 

"She'll be out again" Kendra said rubbing Original Cindy's back.

"Can't believe Original Cindy fell for that same old tired line." Original Cindy said dejectedly.

Max looked on trying to figure out what comfort to offer her friend, she hadn't trusted the girl to begin with. She hadn't been too surprised that she'd gotten herself arrested again trying to steal enough so she and OC could disappear to some warm sunny beaches. She had been kinda surprised though to find out she'd actually busted out of jail in the first place.

"It happens to the best of us." Kendra reassured.

"Not Original Cindy." She said adamantly, "Anyone besides Diamond…Would have seen right through the game. You know hard as I try not to have all these feelings for her 'cause it's easier that way..."

"The feelings kept coming anyway." Max supplied, _she knew how that went. _

"No doubt. And even though you ain't with that person you're not alone in the world, either 'cause of the vibe they be throwing in your direction."

"Weird how that is." Max said softly. She wouldn't be alone though when she and Logan were over, a part of him was always going to be with her physically.

"Look at me complaining to the two of you. I'm surrounded by the happily ever after crowd." She shook her head, stood and walked over to the counter to pour herself another drink.

Kendra looked up and over at Max and Max looked away.

* * *

** AN: I hate working with the episode chapters. Thanks for reading guys.  
**


	36. Reversals

Lee: Crap! You're aware I hadn't even realized that right? Didn't even pay attention to Brittany or the 452-599 fetus. I was already annoyed that I had Max pregnant in this one when they already had a kid in the other story. Now in my defense all baby storylines in the previous stories were in the epilogues/continuations. Yea and in Outside I just wanted to fix everything I thought was insane in S2, if they'd skipped the breeding program, I'd have skipped the baby…Sorry must always mention how much that annoyed me.

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 36 **

**Reversals **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

* * *

_Episode: Pollo Loco_

* * *

She was a monster. 

No matter how long she stood under the beating water of her shower she couldn't get clean. The shivers coursing through her body weren't from the icy waters.

She was a monster.

She was the animal that bastard had trained her to be. She had killed her brother. She had almost killed her baby.

_And he looked at her like she was an angel. _

She'd managed to be at his place for only minutes, she couldn't deal with how he didn't see her. He saw a girl, his girlfriend, his lover…He didn't see who she was. Logan had no idea what she was capable of. He thought he did. He'd seen her in action before, he'd seen the results, but he didn't know that as Ben lay in her arms she'd snapped his neck.

Her brother, her sweet loving brother…She'd taken his life. It didn't matter that he had wanted her too.

A monster. That's all she was.

She shouldn't even be capable of the tears running down her face. Maybe that's what made her a monster and not an animal, animals don't know they've done anything wrong, to them it's natural. _She knew._

She was a monster.

* * *

_Episode: I and I am Camera _

_(Skipping Max being at Crash and being caught by Phil and being involved in all the other fun stuff that followed). _

* * *

Max Voiceover ( Logan's Apartment): 

_He's been quiet._ Quiet even for Logan, he's not just lost in work. I would blame it on the fact that his uncle was just shot up in his study, except for the fact that he'd been a little odd even before he got that phone call. Cryptic phone calls have been passing between him and his cousins. He won't say anything more than 'family business,' quickly shutting me out.

He spent the day at Cale Industries.

He hates that place, he ran from it his whole life and he spent the entire day there. Walked into his place with takeout; Logan Cale with takeout and not snooty restaurant takeout, Chinese. Eyes Only hasn't been mentioned in days, those unsolved deaths he'd been investigating still unsolved.

_Weird week. _

Sketch caused a fire at Crash, which of course I missed because it was past the kiddo's bedtime. Herbal's trying to understand Jah's plan, Snuffy's death really hit him hard; OC said he was a nice guy, which is a lot coming from her. Followed by Old Jonas being shot up in his study, the guy didn't even have the decency to do it to his face, the coward shot through the windows.

Death has just been pretty inescapable since Ben.

I wish I didn't have to leave him like this. I know I do though. _Running out of time rapidly._ Can't escape Kendra's looks, can't hide the fact that my pants are suddenly starting to get snugger. Changes in my sleep patterns and beverage consumptions are one thing to explain to Logan, but changes in my body are another entirely.

His distraction may actually work for me; buy me a little more time, not much though. He won't mention the slight change in my body even if he notices. I'm worried about him when I leave though, I don't want to leave him like this.

Suddenly it hits me as I turn to watch him instead of the tv that's been on and neither of us have been watching. The look on his face…

I'd seen it before, not long ago on my own. It's guilt. _What could _ _Logan__ possibly have to feel guilty for? _

* * *

Yea that was short. I think they're going back to short for a little bit; of course I may be lying about that. Thanks for reading guys! 


	37. Missing

Maria, forgot to mention I love you in the last chapter. I swear to god I searched through the transcripts when I started this and I couldn't find their names.

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 37 **

**Missing **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

* * *

_Episode: Hit A Sista Back _

* * *

The pants draped across the chair reminded her of one thing when she woke up. It was time to leave. She had decided early on that when the pants were snug she would leave. Their fit snugger than the rest of her other pants, she had never been interested in the perfect snug fit, she wanted comfort. She could no longer button the top button, well not without a deep breath and crushing her waist. 

The pants had been there for four days now. Screaming at her that she should be throwing her things into a bag and taking off. She kept talking herself out of it; she knew he was still completely oblivious. Her waist may have thickened the slightest bit, but she didn't look pregnant.

He was still preoccupied with Cale Industries. All of the suits in his closet had been worn; new ones had been bought since he went to the office everyday. No new articles were being researched and Eyes Only was suffering. All he'd told her was his uncle had gotten the company in some trouble.

It was odd to see him in suits, to walk into his apartment and find him still dressed in slacks, tie loosened and top button undone generally with a drink next to him as he went over files and reports. She didn't know why he felt so responsible; he didn't appear to be alone though. Worry was etched around Bennett's eyes as he'd come over one day to drop off some papers. She'd gone over another day to find Logan and his cousin, Mark poring over files on the dining room table. They'd gone quiet when they realized she was in the apartment and Mark had quickly made his excuses and left as Logan gathered up the papers.

Max was starting to guess that whatever trouble Old Uncle Jonas had gotten the family business in, it wasn't the legal kind.

She took a deep breath. _Get it over with Max,_ she ordered herself. _What are you doing? Staying until he finds out? Do you want to hurt him even more than you're already going to? _She went into her closet and grabbed the black bag from the bottom. She took a deep breath as she started rifling through her closet for what clothing would work for her the longest her fingers lingered over the dress he'd bought for her. As much as she wanted to she couldn't take it, she needed the space for things she'd actually be able to use. Not to mention if Lydecker ever caught that in her closet it would be pretty easy to trace her back to Seattle and Logan.

With her bag packed, the clothing she would wear today laid out she made her way into the shower. Shower, breakfast, Logan's, hopefully he wouldn't have left for the office by then. She thought about just leaving him a letter or maybe calling him, but she realized as hard as it was going to be on her, he deserved it in person. Not to mention, she wanted one final look, she was a glutton for pain.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She was exhausted, it was almost midnight and she hadn't slept in days. She was so tired she was pretty sure she could sleep for a week. Tinga was gone, gone just like Brin. Case had almost ended up in Manticore and it reminded her how unsafe the world would always be for her baby. She had to go, she promised Zack she'd go with him. She didn't tell him why she'd go with him now; she didn't want to listen to the speech, not yet. She'd just heard the one he'd given to her about Tinga and making herself vulnerable and told her she was heading down the same path. The last thing he needed to know right now was she was completely on the same path. If he stuck around with her long enough, he'd figure it out for himself.

So here she was now standing in front of Logan's door, her bag strapped across her back, she might feel safe enough to leaving her precious bike unguarded in his garage, not her belongings. Charlie and Case had been taken by Pete to a safe house until Logan finished procuring everything they'd need to make it to Canada. Zack had given her an hour to meet up with him at the rail yards. So here she was entering his place once more all in black.

He turned as he heard her approach and she watched the smile quickly fall off his face as he realized what was going on. "You're going?" he asked

She nodded, suddenly unable to speak; _it wasn't supposed to be this hard._

"Zack talked you into it?" He said grimly.

"Zack's right, it's for the best. Lydecker's too close, he knows I'm in Seattle, he knows I haven't left. He's going to be back for me really soon."

"So go tomorrow." He shook his head walking to her, "Go next week, just not today. Not like this."

" Logan" her voice was unsteady as he came upon her.

"Don't go Max" he said raising a hand up to her cheek, "Not like this."

She shook her head, trying to find the words to fight him. She didn't want to though, she was so tired. _So tired of everything…_

He smiled gently with his hand still on her face, "You'll fall off your bike if you try to go tonight. You need sleep Max. Lydecker isn't that bright Max, he won't be here tomorrow."

She nodded. Her head was moving on its own accord. The next thing she knew he was lifting her bag off her and leading her to his bed where he helped her undress. She slid in between the sheets and he soon followed her, just holding her as she quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Yea this is just a short chapter story. Don't know why, it just is.**


	38. In the Dark

**AN: Why? Why? Why? Why does this chapter hate me? This isn't the chapter I wanted. I tried everything in my power to make it be, but it isn't. I'm sorry. **

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 38 **

**In the Dark **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Her eyes opened slowly in the dark. Confusion wrapped around her brain, the alertness usually present completely absent. _ Logan's room, no Logan beside her_. It was still dark, but her eyes clearly saw the clock across the bed, 1:23. Zack was long gone, but the question was, _where the hell was _ _Logan_

She heard movements in the kitchen, so she closed her eyes again. She wasn't getting up to go check up on him, she didn't have the energy. Two days with almost no sleep and barely touching the food that had been repeatedly offered to her had caught up with her quickly in her present state.

Her ears suddenly took notice of the fact that she was hearing two sets of movement in the kitchen. Then angry hushed whispers.

She shot up, swinging her legs over the side in one easy movement knowing that those voices were of Zack and Logan's. She swayed as the nausea rolled within her. A hand shot out to brace herself and the other covered her stomach. "Come on" she softly muttered. She didn't have the time for this, even though it was her own damn fault. An empty stomach and exhaustion, pretty much a guarantee to make the nausea that was almost non-existent at this point make a return appearance.

"You're gonna get her killed." She grimaced hearing Zack's voice suddenly way above a whisper.

"Keep your voice down." Logan's returned words were slightly elevated themselves. She would have smiled at the concern in his voice except for the fact that he was speaking to her brother and her weaknesses and Zack were never a good combination.

"No, let Max wake up. Then we can get the hell out of here."

She groaned and pushed herself up to get out there before they completely went at it like school kids. She ignored the dizziness and made her way out into the kitchen still only wearing the black underwear and tank Logan had stripped her down to just over an hour ago, she matched his attire of only gray boxers as he and her brother were apparently involved in a stand off.

"Neither of you are going to blink." She said rolling her eyes.

"Geez Max," Zack said swinging his attention over to her, "you look like shit."

"I tried to tell you that." Logan interjected, his point having been proven by her appearance, "Max just go back to bed."

Zack's attention returned to Logan and he glared, "No Max, go get dressed we're leaving."

"Look at her Zack; she's in no condition to go anywhere."

Max walked further into the room and braced herself on the counter, she should really be getting involved, but…

"You know, I've known Max a hell of a lot longer than you have…I think I know what she's capable of."

_Should have just stayed in bed and let them fight it out_, she thought as her eyes briefly closed and she tried to ignore the aroma of the coffee percolating. _Who freakin makes coffee at _ _1:30_

"She's barely eaten or slept for the past two days."

"This is Max; she doesn't need either of those." Their voices both kept just below a yell as they ignored the fact that she was even in the room with them.

"You said it yourself, she…" Suddenly Logan's eyes glanced back over at her to make his point and he noticed her swaying even though she was holding on to the counter. "Are you okay?"

"Max?" Zack's gaze turned to concerned too.

"I'm fine." She said shaking her head.

"You know what you need Maxie?" Zack moved across the kitchen, "A nice strong cup of coffee so we can get the hell out of here."

The mug was being poured even before she could react; the scent filled the room, hitting her almost instantly. She had a brief moment where she was strong enough to ignore it, she was wrong.

She didn't have a choice; it was either throw up at their feet or in the bathroom. They both called out after her, though thankfully didn't follow her. She didn't want to think about what was being said in the kitchen.

They were both staring at her as she reemerged. She'd almost stayed in the bathroom, but she knew lingering would make whatever she was facing worse.

Zack looked at her concerned, Logan just looked stunned.

"Sorry guys." She said trying to wrack her brain for a reason.

"Max" Zack began.

"Zack, I think Max proved she isn't up to going anywhere tonight." Logan said simply.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Zack cut her off, "It's fine Max. Go back to bed."

She nodded and turned, exhaustion didn't give her a chance to think about what had just happened.


	39. In the Light

**Ah Bob, I love you. Simple as that. Trust me people that chapter was so completely off base with what I had originally in my head, it just totally screwed the chapter over and Babyangel, you totally would have had fluff if it had gone to plan. **

**Aside from that damn you're all amazing reviewers. Encouragement, ideas, offers to help, jesus Maria you even double checked your review. Thanks guys! **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 39 **

**In the Light **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

He was sitting there watching her as she woke up. She could feel his eyes on her in the softly lit room, the drapes only dimming the morning sun.

_The gig's up_, she knew that within a moment of seeing his eyes, they were vacant, shell shocked and lined with sleep deprivation. They explained his actions the previous night, he hovered and worried with every seizure…Last night he'd just been strangely detached as he sent her off to bed.

"You're pregnant aren't you?" his voice was flat.

She nodded softly, he wasn't really asking even though he posed it as a question.

He pushed up out of the chair, "The sleep, no coffee, you barely touch your wine." He shook his head slightly, still after six hours trying to piece it all together.

His eyes suddenly turned even colder as he leaned back on a dresser, "You knew" was all he said as there was no longer any possibility of denying it.

She nodded.

"You knew and you were going to leave." He nodded his own head trying to understand it all.

She nodded again and refused to allow any weakness to show in her eyes.

He shook his head, "How…" he smirked, they both knew the how pretty well, "when?"

"The cabin."

" Cape Haven?" he turned and asked.

She shook her head.

He looked puzzled, even as he asked, "My family's?"

She nodded.

He couldn't hide the hurt and shock in his eyes, "You've been lying to me for four months?"

"I didn't" she was about to tell him that she'd been a little slow on the uptake, but realized that didn't matter, "I thought it would be easier."

"Easier how Max?"

"Logan, I…" She began but was cut off by a knock. "Zack," she almost groaned, anyone else interrupting she would have been thankful for, but not Zack.

Logan shook his head, "Doesn't anyone in your family sleep?"

"Max, I know you two are awake." He said pushing open the door.

"What do you want Zack?" She snapped.

Her brother shot her a look of pure annoyance, "It's almost seven, get up let's go."

She looked across to Logan; saw the look of anger and hurt masked by indifference, " Logan…"

"You've got to be kidding me Maxie." Zack said shaking his head, "You can't be asking him…"

"Don't worry Zack." Logan said shaking his head, "Max only listens to herself."

"Go Zack." Max snapped.

"Fine, I'll go see."

She turned, "No I mean go, leave."

"You've got to be kidding me Max."

She shook her head, her main reason for leaving was gone, she wouldn't leave him like this, she wouldn't leave the first thing in her life that had mattered since her family like this.

"Max" the C.O. in him came into his voice.

"Bye Zack." She said looking deep into his eyes, making sure he knew she wasn't kidding.

His eyes swung over to Logan's, "You're going to get her killed Cale. I hope you know that." He looked back over to Max before he left the room, "You just saw what they did to Tinga Max, unless you come to your senses soon, the same thing's gonna happen to you."

* * *


	40. Further Revelations

**Babyangel: He would have been all happy and there would have been all these nice warm, happy, fluffy moments had chapter 38 worked with me. **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- ****  
**

**Chapter 40**

Further Revelations

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

They both listened to the door slam staring into each others eyes. She'd never seen him like this, the hurt, the anger, the betrayal all threatening to explode. He couldn't hide it; _he was normally so good at hiding things…_

"I thought that's what's you wanted Max? I thought you wanted to go," he bent down and picked up her bag, "isn't that was this is all about."

She wanted to beg forgiveness, she wanted to tell him how all she wanted was to hide away with him from the rest of the world forever, have their baby, have the life they always showed on the pre-pulse reruns. She'd wanted him hovering over her instead of Kendra as she lost her breakfast. She'd wanted him by her side as she'd heard their baby's heartbeat, praying to god it would sound normal and she wouldn't cause any further suspicion. She couldn't though; 19 years prevented her from being able to. 19 years and knowing she still didn't get the happily ever after. "Don't do this Logan." She said pushing away the covers and standing.

"Do what Max?" he gave a gave a quick shake of his head, "What am doing?"

She wished he'd just yell at her, give her a reason to leave, he didn't though, he kept his voice almost steady.

"You were just going to leave Max."

His voice and words were so resigned, she had to remember to be strong, "Compared to the alternatives…Me leaving isn't really so bad."

He froze for a minute, his mouth closed as he realized what she meant.

It killed her once again to realize that hadn't even come into his mind, he hadn't thought her capable of it, he had no idea who she was…"I had an appointment and everything Logan." She said the words even before she realized they were coming out of her mouth.

"What stopped you?"

"She deserved a chance."

She watched the relief finally appear in his eyes, he'd been angry that he wouldn't know his child existed, but the thought of that child not existing…"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I thought it would be easier…I have to go Logan, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day we'll be gone."

"Easier?" he shook his head and smiled ruefully to himself.

She finally bent down to pick up her discarded pants; she'd had enough of this standoff in her underwear.

"Are you leaving?"

She looked up, "Do you want me to?"

His breath froze for a second as she looked up daring him to say yes, "No" he said softly.

* * *

** AN: Okay it's happened for the nine millionth time, burnt out. Most likely this will resolve itself in a matter of days as it always has before…I swear I'm burnt out and then I write like a dozen new chapters…But I feel the need to explain the brevity of this chapter and the delay in the other stories. You guys can put off replying if you want until I actually put up something substantial (or my chapters add up to a normal one). Thanks for reading guys! **


	41. Accidents Don't Just Happen

Babyangel, haha, no that's when you need to review when the chapters stop being readable and making sense.

Bob, you and I are totally on the same track lately. Kinda freaky, though always nice because it means someone agrees with me.

Idlehands, no actual stopping. I stop and I stop writing for three years, me and breathers don't work. Scream though if I'm writing anything that seems forced and I haven't noticed it.

**Thanks guys, I hope everyone else is enjoying the mini chapters because here's another one.**

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 41 **

**Accidents Don't Just Happen **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Max Voiceover-

Accidents don't just happen. Sounds Freudian or Jungian or actually I have no idea. How to resist physical and psychological torture I get, understanding why people do what they do…Haven't exactly figured that out in my eleven years.

_Everyday that passed though without me leaving… _

My subconscious overrode my logic and of course in the end everything's ended in a disaster, which makes sense considering it's my life. He would have been happy if I'd told him, it would have ended in heartbreak, but he would have been happy. Or if I'd just left months ago like my brain kept telling me too…I didn't do either of those though and now the pain I've caused him, the pain that's only going to get worse…

_(Max chuckles to herself)_

Self-fulfilling prophecy. Sketchy said that to Normal once when Normal had asked why he was such a screw up, 'because you expect me to be.' I wanted him to hate me, I wanted him to stop seeing me like an angel, I wanted to prove to him I wasn't worthy of his love.

I think I might have succeeded.

I'd broken away from our tense conversation in his bedroom by claiming I had to go to the bathroom, which while it wasn't altogether entirely untrue, it had mostly been a means to escape before I crumpled. _I couldn't be weak again._ I can't go through it again. _Can't be so dependent, can't see the love so obvious in his eyes… _

We barely spoke throughout breakfast. A brief discussion about coffee being fine and it was only the exhaustion and empty stomach that had caused the early morning spectacle. He finally cracked a smile at my explanation of why I kept referring to the baby as she, "Cause she kicks my ass."

_(Hand drops to stomach.)_

You're a fighter that for sure.

I gave him my medical file that I had swiped from the clinic earlier in the week, knowing it would be my last visit before I left. He knows everything now and had nodded briskly after going over it. _After finding out how close you came to not being_. He promised to find a new doctor; a trustworthy one that I didn't have to hide everything from just before he said was going out for a run.

Code for I need some air, some time to think. Leaving me here to stare out the window…

"My guy's come through" he's saying to that ever present attachment to his ear as the door opens, "I should be over in about an hour." He hangs up and looks at me.

"Charlie and Case?" I ask

He nods, "Papers came through…Feel like saying goodbye?"

I nod.

"Let me go take a quick shower. I'll be ready to go in ten." he says walking out of the room leaving me still wondering what happens next.


	42. Distance

**Just need to share with you, I love how you all replied when I said you didn't need to (caused me to flashback to no one reviewing to my favorite chapter of 'A Single Night')...And...Hi new reader!**

* * *

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 42 **

**Distance **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Max tossed her bag onto the couch and headed into Kendra's.

"Max" Kendra said looking up in surprise as she was packing some clothing into a duffel bag.

Max looked around the room and saw a few boxes scattered about in various stages of being packed.

"Didn't you leave?"

"Decided to stay," she looked around the room again and to Kendra's guilty expression, "what's going on? Where are you going?"

"Uh, over to Walter's for the night."

Max frowned, _since when did Kendra take clothes to Walter's?_ "What about the boxes?"

"I was going to move some things into your room." She said shaking her head before moving forward to Max and hugging her, "I'm so glad you stayed."

"Yea well running off after Logan found out I was pregnant…"

"Ugh," Kendra said shaking her head, "he found out? You didn't tell him? Max…"

"Yea, didn't really go over too well."

"He's not excited about the baby?" The blue eyes responded in shock.

"More like not excited with me."

"Can you blame him?"

She shook her head in response, _No, not in the least._ "I'm gonna go put my clothes away." She said with a nod of her head.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

_Three days_ was all that Max was thinking as Logan's arms wound around her pulling her close to him dropping a kiss to her neck. Three days since the last time he'd kissed her. A kiss for luck since she was going to deal with Lydecker.

He kissed her now though and she wondered if he meant it. They barely talked yesterday. She was pretty sure he'd only come by with takeout after work to make sure she was still there. If Kendra hadn't been there she didn't know what they would have done.

He kissed her now though; of course the words that followed weren't the ones she wanted to hear. They weren't I love you, they weren't I'm sorry, they weren't I forgive you.

"One of my informants put me in contact with a doctor." She turned to face him, "I got you an appointment two days from now. Can you take off work for a couple of hours?"

"I'll fake a sprain." She nodded.

"Good" he smiled and rewarded her compliance with a real kiss.

She responded; she always did. She couldn't be mad at him, she could end it all with a few simple words, 'I love you.' She knew he would forgive her if she said those words, they would explain it all, even what they didn't he would forgive anyway. Hell, she could even say, 'I wanted to tell you' and he'd probably move past this too. She couldn't though; she needed his anger and his distrust. So she went back to how they used to be, strangers unsure of their place with each other.

"You know I was thinking about your job." He said awhile later as they sat across from each other eating dinner.

"What about it?" She said growing defensive.

"Max, you can't very well ride around delivering packages while pregnant."

"Funny, thought that's what I've been doing for the past four months."

"You know what I mean."

"Genetically enhanced soldier Logan, pretty sure that means even with 30 pounds sitting in front of me, my balance and endurance will still be better than your average person."

"You'll also be a sitting duck." He said looking straight at her.

_Hmm_, she hadn't gotten that far in thinking.

"If your boss doesn't find that peculiar, then one of your coworkers will or a customer or even just someone on the street."

"So then I'll worry about that when I get to it. I like I my job, I like my friends. Besides I'm not even showing yet."

He slowly looked down her body and then back up at her with a slightly titled head and a challenging look.

Max suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious and wavered under his gaze and looked down. Her waist had thickened a little; she knew that, her v-necks might look a little better than before…

She looked back up to see him smiling, his eyes twinkling in a way she hadn't seen in days, "So what," she laughed mostly because of his smile, "you thought I was getting fat and you just didn't mention it?"

"Mentioning a woman's weight" his eyes dropped shut for a second as he shook his head reopening as he smiled at her, "Not the smartest idea."

"So you think I'm fat?" She blamed the hormones for her worries_, since when had she cared what someone else thought of her physical appearance. _

He smiled, "No Max I think you're pregnant."

Her expression switched from concerned to pissed off, ignoring the joking tone of his voice.

Logan realized the errors of his ways; he stood and dropped down to her side, "I think I stand by what I've been telling you all along, you're the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth."

He kissed her again and she realized this time he meant it.


	43. Touch

Bob: Only the last one counted, the first two were more habit, you know like a kiss on a cheek, a smile you don't mean…The twinkle in his eye, the joking that was all to show that everything that had happened had been forgotten/pushed to the side at least for that moment.

Babyangel: Ha, distance killed in a matter of a chapter…Come on, who are you talking to here. :-D

**AN: Okay let me just share with you guys between pregnancy and the development of a toddler, I think my text books have been used more than they were for each of their classes. **

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**Chapter 43 **

**Touch **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

He was waiting for her outside of the medical complex, he'd offered to come pick her up, but since she was faking a sprain, Logan suddenly appearing at the right time was a little fishy, not that Normal had ever really seemed to believed a single one of her claims…

"Hey" he said dropping a kiss down to her lips as she held her bike.

She smiled and tried to ignore the sudden butterflies in her stomach, why going to the doctor's with Logan would make her nervous she had no idea. Maybe part of it was the fact that she was pushing her bike through the door he held open for her in a pair of sneakers, black baggy pants, black jacket, topped off by the black cap, while he was wearing an impeccable gray suit partially covered by a black wool coat.

It certainly didn't help that the security guard gave them an odd look just before he said, "You can leave that down here" he nodded towards the bike, "I'll make sure no one touches it."

She forced out a smile, "Thanks."

"No problem." He said as he took the bike from her and Logan led her to the elevator.

Once inside she took off her hat and brushed out her hair with her fingers before unzipping her jacket and draping it over her arm. Placing a hand against her stomach, the butterflies having been replaced by the baby and the small tiny movements that had slowly been making their presence more known over the past few weeks.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked looking over and seeing the position.

"Yea fine" she nodded, thankful at least she no longer had to hold back her hand every time she wanted to make the protective gesture or snatch it away before he noticed.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked again as they walked down the hallway.

"Not really a big fan of doctors." _Doctors equaled Manticore; it was as simple as that._

"She's supposed to be nice." He offered trying to soothe her fears, "Even better than that she seems to be trustworthy."

There was something about that final statement that made her want to freeze in the hallway,_ a subconscious dig at her? _Probably not the way he meant it, he'd just been trying to put her at ease, but she knew if asked he would no longer list her as someone he'd trust. She was still trying to get used to that.

They entered the office and received more peculiar stares, all middle and upper-class women in various stages of pregnancy all thinking one thing, _entrapment_. Not that she wouldn't have thought it too, someone like her with someone like Logan…

_Then again_, she looked over to where Logan was talking to the receptionist; _he wouldn't have had a chance in hell if he had been wearing that suit._ Her Logan had been a rebel; the guy she'd been dealing with for over a month was not her Logan. He'd been slipping away, further and further each day. _She'd been his lifeline…_

A puzzled looked crossed her face, _she hadn't realized that_. She'd known he needed her, but…

"Doctor should be out in a few." He said walking back over, disrupting her thoughts. "Why don't we sit" he said with a nod towards a couple empty chairs.

She nodded and dropped her hand back down to her stomach, no idea this time if it was the baby or butterflies.

-o-o-o-o-

She was alone in the room; the doctor had stepped out to let her dress again before letting Logan in. _She felt dirty._ Same feeling she'd had in the other two examinations. Of course Logan would have had to find a thorough doctor, not one who could just trust what the previous doctor had written on her chart…_The latex gloves, the stirrups, the cold touch while staring up at the fluorescent lights…_

She tried to shake it off as she dressed again, thankful the doctor had said she could change out of the paper gown and back into her clothing after viewing her obvious discomfort in the hospital garb.

-o-o-o-o-

It was the moment of truth. Logan was standing by her side as the doctor was beginning the ultrasound. _Case was fine, Case was normal…No tails or anything like that. Still… _

She felt his hand grasp hers, she looked up to his reassuring face. Damn, she hated herself…He was still there, he was still doing it, being the good guy even though she didn't deserve it. Comforting her…

"That looks like a nice strong heart." The doctor's voice broke their eyes away from each other and to the screen. To that fuzzy image that no amount of her medical knowledge could help identify, but that was her. _Her daughter, hers and Logan's…_

"You can see the spine right here…" The doctor's words continued on, but she couldn't hear them. All she could do was see their baby and feel his hand.


	44. Wash Away

**Hey, it was only 4 or 5 days people… Guilt and angst get to stick around at least that long. Of course, I say that as they're pretty much gone in this chapter. **

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**Chapter 44 **

**Wash Away **

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The car:

"You don't have to go back to work right?"

She looked over at him with puzzled eyes, "I think it might look a little funny if I come back from a sprain in two hours."

"Oh right" he said with a nod.

"Do you?"

He shook his head, "Told them I was gone for the rest of the day."

"Really?"

He dropped his head to the side looking at her, "And not to contact me at home."

"Wow. An entire afternoon and evening without your cell ringing every five minutes? Whatever will we do?" A teasing smile emerged on her face.

He laughed, "I can't promise total silence, there are some Eyes Only things on the table."

"Speaking of tables I'm starving."

He shook his head as he smiled, "Lunch at my place or"

"Is there anything in your fridge?" she questioned, the turmoil at Cale Industries had hit his fridge the hardest.

"I made dinner two nights ago didn't I?"

"Just checking."

-o-o-o-o-

She watched him moving around the kitchen at ease, her eyes drifting between him and the ultrasound picture resting before her on the counter where they'd dropped it coming in. It had been weird looking up and seeing their child gently moving on the screen, not that it wasn't beautiful and knocked her already over-protective instincts up a notch, but still weird.

It wasn't as if she weren't aware of the baby's presence, _she hadn't given her much choice in the matter_. She knew her body was no longer her own, and as the scale at the doctor's had said there was now five pounds more of her body. She'd felt the baby move within her, she'd heard its heartbeat, but seeing it though…Kinda no escaping it.

She leaned over and grabbed the pickle he just placed on the plate off of it; he chuckled softly as he reached into the jar to replace it. She smiled and took the plates he turned out with. "What do you want to drink?" he asked as he closed the jar.

"Water's good" she said as she walked over with their plates.

-o-o-o-o-

His arms found their way around her waist as she was once more paused looking down at the picture, "Didn't I tell you that Doctor Hersh was nice?"

Max held in her shudder, _nice and doctor's didn't mesh,_ "That's because all you had to do was stand and look at a screen and sit as she asked if you had any questions."

"Was it that bad?" he asked gently as he turned her around.

"Doctor's on the outside…Good guys, my mind gets that, just can't talk the rest of me into it."

"I'm sorry" he said raising up a hand to touch her cheek.

She shrugged her shoulders, "No big deal," she said it and she meant it; his touch was wiping away any memory of the doctor's. "Just that whole latex thing."

"Hmmm" he said dropping a finger down along her arm.

" Logan?"

"Hmmm?" he murmured again looking into her eyes as his hand found their way in under her shirt, resting across their daughter for the rest time ever.

"Hi" she whispered, she didn't really now what else to say, so she welcomed him back.

His lips rose up in a laughing smile before he found her lips softly with his own. "No matter what." He whispered moving his mouth closer to her ear, one hand cupping the side of her face, the other resting on her waist, "I'll always be here for both of you. You know that right?"

She nodded.

His lips found hers again before he slowly bent down and raised up the blue shirt looser than the ones she normally wore and placed a kiss on her stomach. She felt the tears prick at her eyes and ordered them away before he would notice. He didn't though because before she could even react he'd swung he into his arms, causing her spontaneous laughter that matched his own. He carried her off into his bedroom and she forgot everything else for just a little while.


	45. You're

**Okay so seriously I don't even like this story, but I felt the overwhelming need to update it because there are so many damn Max and Alec stories on this damn board…I totally don't get it…Not at all…That's just so wrong, not that I wouldn't completely jump Jensen if given the chance, but still…Hmm yea so story here it is. **

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**Chapter 45 **

**You're… **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**_Couple weeks in the future…_**

She pulled the pillow over her head and groaned as she was woken up by Kendra and Original Cindy stumbling into her apartment drunk. She had a feeling at any minute she was going to hear her baby…She dropped a hand down to her curved waist and smiled…Her other baby was going to be toppled. She really should go out and save her…She was really moving…Yup any minute…

Okay another bang.

She was actually moving, up and out of bed...Definitely sounded like they were moving in the direction of her bike.

"Have a good time?" she asked emerging through her doorway.

"Oops," Kendra smiled and wavered, she narrowly avoided falling by placing a hand on the counter. "Sorry-"

"You're…" Original Cindy's hand waved in Max's direction, shock and alcohol dulling her ability to find the words.

Max looked down and was suddenly aware she was wearing only boxers and a skin tight black tank which had a healthy amount of her more than just gently curved stomach showing. Her wardrobe had changed for work and going out, hell she barely ever went out anymore…Her clothing at her apartment and Logan's were the only times she allowed anyone in the world to view her pregnancy, which was getting a hell of a lot harder to hide…Thank god for vests though, she was hoping for a few more weeks at work.

Max actually laughed at being caught by Original Cindy like this, she would have told her eventually, but catching Original Cindy so off guard she was speechless…Well it was kinda nice, she never thought she'd actually see that happen. "Knocked up?" she offered.

"You're not just happy?" Her face was totally dazed; part of her had seriously expected Max to deny it.

"Happy?" Max asked.

"You know you're in a relationship and you get lazy," Kendra explained. "Everyone's being saying it for weeks."

"Months," Original Cindy amended.

Max made a face, _seriously she hadn't gained that much weight._ She now understood those shirts that said 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant.'

"You're pregnant," Cindy repeated obviously expecting to either wake up or someone to jump out and yell, 'haha gotcha.'

Max almost rolled her eyes at this point, her friend had never been this slow on the uptake.

"If she's not pregnant, she's got some serious issues."

Original Cindy's head slowly turned from Kendra to Max, "How…When?" She said once more focused on Max's stomach.

"Almost six months," Max answered.

Eyes widened in surprise.

Max smiled, _she knew she wasn't that big._

"Nuh uh," OC said with a shake of her head, "Would have noticed." She turned to Kendra, "You…" and back to Max, "and you…Think you're getting one up on Original Cindy…" she shook her head.

"How much did you two have to drink?" Max turned and asked Kendra, _this was really getting old fast. _

"They're trying out a new bartender," Kendra made a big boobs gesture over her own.

Original Cindy turned and waved a hand dismissing her friend's words, "Original Cindy is not that drunk…But you…" another hand waved at Max. "Why aren't she and rich boy living together?" She turned and asked Kendra, but before she could answer Cindy turned back around to Max, "That little prick he's not-"

Max raised up a hand and stopped her, "He's fine. Doctor's appointments, bitchin at me for working, stocking my fridge…"

"Stockin' your fridge? What about the carats that are supposed to be on your hand?" She shook her head again once more trying to wrap her mind around this, "Six months?"

"Didn't know you were so old fashioned," Max said with a shake of her head.

"You're a baby, he should know better." Suddenly Original Cindy got outraged, "Of all the irresponsible things of that good for nothing prick to do…" she shook her head.

Dammit if Max wasn't a female in love, she had to still defend him even to the irrational drunk one…"Kinda all me," she shrugged, "zoned about the pill."

"You?" Original Cindy asked her normally oh-so responsible friend.

"There was a lot going on," she defended, "he got himself shot." She shook her head, hating remembering what he looked like so weak, "Repeatedly."

"See," she turned to Kendra, "knew it was his fault." Back to Max, well Max's stomach.

Max shook her head then pulled up her shirt and turned to prove there were no tape marks from part of a crappy practical joke. Shame the baby wasn't awake she'd suck it up and deal with Original Cindy's hand on her stomach with less annoyance than she would with Kendra.

"You're having a baby," she said with a final nod. Then turned back to the kitchen, "I need a drink."

**

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**Yea was gonna just have OC see Max dressed like that and go "Holy shit Boo, you're pregnant." That was too easy though; decided to annoy Max instead, it's nice to give OC a total slow moment since normally I have her know things before Max does. **


	46. Everything's Fine

Maggie: I bet Fox would have let him do one more movie type episode, a longer one to tie up all the loose ends. You don't piss someone like James Cameron off. Totally unfair Firefly gets a movie and Dark Angel didn't. DA at least made it two years and kinda teetered on the edge of having a third.

**Dammit Maggie made me think by asking for a sequel when I finish Moving On. I don't know if I'm doing any more stories after these 4 are done, but there is no way in hell I'm letting Remnants be the final one since it's the one I like the least. I will update this damn story more often if it kills me**

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**Chapter 46 **

**Everything's Fine **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

Max Voiceover-

Funny how completely normal two people can look to the outside world, when they're completely broken...Maybe broken's too strong a word, but I think it might be the right one.

If anyone was watching us go about our daily lives, they would never think anything was off.

Even if I were watching, I would think everything is fine. Jokes are there, tender touches, weak at the knee kisses, which really aren't the myth I thought they were. Teasing about my attempts at chopping, of course the baby food comments are a little more relevant nowadays. Something's off though, something never discussed, the walls that were re-erected. Strangers holding back that intimate piece of them, though I guess most would say I never really gave it.

_I did as much as I could._

More than he'll ever realize. He doesn't understand he had my heart, he still has it. All of my seemingly crazy, yet logic driven actions were based largely in part due to the fact that I'm pretty sure this is love. Even before I saw the baby as a real person, I saw her as an extension of him. She was infinitely more special, precious because she wasn't just him, she was us. I did this to protect him, to save him from pain; I'm still trying to now.

-o-o-o-o-

She saw his reflection and heard his footsteps approach the window she stared out of, she didn't move though. Fingers brushed back the hair from her neck granting his lips access as the other hand splayed across her stomach. Their daughter kicked in turn, causing her father's lips to stop in their ministrations and curl up into a smile.

She knew what this was though, his version of a white flag since they'd just been fighting. Normal had caught onto the fact that she was pregnant, though he had no idea how far along she was. It wasn't something that could be hidden any longer and she agreed with Logan that riding her bike through the streets of Seattle was getting to be a little obvious. That had been a week ago and she'd quit, but they were still fighting about it. First he'd tried the moving in route, but she wouldn't cave. Then he blew up when she wouldn't take any money from him, pointing out the fact that after all the first time they'd met she'd been robbing him. That certainly hadn't won him any points.

She knew she was being foolish. She shouldn't be living off the money she'd saved since she no longer had to pay rent and the fact that Crash had long since become a thing of the past. She'd need the money once the time came for her to leave, breaking and entering wasn't bound to be that easy still pregnant or with a baby. She couldn't imagine hitting up Logan for money before she took off that whole 'Hey I'm already taking off with your kid can you spot me some cash…' _yea that just seemed kinda wrong_. If she had the balls to actually say goodbye, which she wasn't sure she would, she knew money would be pressed into her hand because that's the kinda guy he was.

"I'm still not moving in with you," she said with resolve.

"Max there's a hell of a lot more here to do during the day than at your place," he pointed out.

She hated when he was right, but she didn't want to live with him. _She didn't want to do that to either of them. _

"I'm barely ever here as it is Max, someone might as well be using the place," he said as if he was cued into her thoughts.

She ignored the fact that she hated how he seemed to live, breathe, eat C.I. these days. Better for what she wanted though, separation from him was easy considering most nights he wasn't done until seven or eight and he was always out of the apartment by 8 the next morning. It wasn't Logan though or at least it wasn't the Logan she had fallen for, it wasn't the Logan she knew he wanted to be.

Still though he had a point. Chances were she wouldn't be spending much more time with him since every moment he wasn't at work or with her he was dealing with Eyes Only. He had a fully stocked fridge, tv, movies to watch, computer, not to mention a treadmill and weights to work off the seemingly boundless amounts of energy she had since quitting Jam Pony and she hadn't seen many pregnant women jogging.

" Logan, I-"

She was cut off by the doorbell and she watched him frown in annoyance in the reflection, "That would be dinner," he said before turning.

She nodded to no one in particular as he walked towards the door, she moved towards the kitchen to pour their drinks.

Logan's greeting reached her before she noticed the other voice, "Didn't I just leave you?" and she responded with a frown, that meant it was someone from Cale Industries.

"Promised the squirt I'd bring this by," Mark, Logan's oldest cousin responded.

Logan laughed, "I thought you-"

"All I said was I wouldn't call him squirt at work, that's Ben's nickname until the day he dies."

Max smiled at that, the horrors of having two older brothers and an older cousin, Bennett's childhood bedwetting issues were never to be forgotten.

Max was leaning up against the counter as the two cousin's walked down the hall, Mark somewhere in the middle looks-wise of Logan and Bennett. Around 5'11, straight light brown hair, which he kept short and hazel eyes.

His mouth opened in a greeting, but froze before any words came out, his eyes left their focus of her face and centered in on her stomach.

She didn't know the look that crossed Logan face, guilt over keeping the secret or disappointment that it had been found out. She wasn't surprised he hadn't told his family, knowing your girlfriend was going to take off with your kid to never be seen or heard from again. Yea not the kinda news you'd broadcast, especially for someone like Logan who hated sympathy and pity.

She spoke before Logan could come up with something to say, "Hey Mark," she smiled.

"Don't ask if she's fat," Logan joked softly leaning next to his cousin, his eyes twinkling towards Max.

Max made a face towards her boyfriend, there were certain things she was allowed to be sensitive of, despite how amusing he found them.

"You're a…" His eyes moved upwards for a moment trying to distract himself from her stomach.

"Not fat?" she offered.

He chuckled, the other two joined in with him. He turned accusingly towards his cousin, "Aren't you supposed to tell people these things?"

"Sorry," he shrugged, "Timing's been a little off for the past few months."

His cousin nodded in agreement, "Could have definitely warned a man though."

"Need a drink?" Logan smiled and moved towards the cabinet.

Mark laughed, "I think you'll need it a lot more than me. Screaming babies, sleepless nights, you two are in for a real treat."

They both just smiled in return.


	47. Days of Remembrance

**Okay guys you gotta just ignore me when I complain about this story. It's not looking for praise or babying or anything like that. I just don't like writing this story and I know exactly why I don't, I just can't explain it until the end, it's the way the story is written and not the story itself. The problem getting to the end is like walking through quicksand? Or maybe tar? Well, something like that. **

**Oh, but Maggie you're so reassuring and sweet. Honestly though, ignore me :-D **

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**Chapter 47 **

**Days of Remembrance **

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One Year Anniversary: 

She flicked the single bud in its vase. The single red bud Logan had come home from work with. He would have of course remembered the day, but in her defense days just kinda blended together since she wasn't working.

"Are you sure we're supposed to be celebrating today?" she asked turning to where he was preparing dinner. Another thing in her defense she did cook on occasion, but the baby was definitely more pleased with her father's results than her mother's.

He laughed softly as he turned.

"Maybe the day after tomorrow?" she pouted shaking her head.

"Trust me, I'm pretty fond of that date too," he walked over and kissed her.

"You should be I not only saved your ass, you got some," she laughed into him.

"Hmm, yea…Good day," he finished with a smile before he walked away. "Or hey about two weeks later when I finally got your number."

She laughed, "It didn't take you that long."

"Only because I'm persistent," he nodded as he ducked down to grab a baking sheet. "If it were up to you, I still wouldn't know your number."

She looked down at her stomach and rolled her eyes, he'd done more than just get her number…_Hell he'd managed to make his number hers._

Still though today as their anniversary…Not that they should even have an anniversary…But if they did, it shouldn't be the day she broke into his place. Maybe that first date, the first time they made love or the day she realized he was her boyfriend and not just a fling…the day he actually verbalized it? _'I'm your boyfriend Max right? After 4 months we aren't just fuck buddies are we?' _

No…That wasn't it.

It was the day he said "I love you," to her, the day their daughter was created…If they were to have an anniversary that would be it.

_It was kinda nice though, that he remembered,_ she thought as she turned her attention back over to the rosebud. Logan Cale was definitely a lot more sentimental than she ever imagined. It so didn't work for what she had planned, but definitely helped soothe the hormonal pregnant woman she had become. If she'd realized the date on her own or after it passed and he hadn't made a mention of it, she probably would have cried. _ Which would have made him have to comfort her, which would have made her feel even worse. _Talk about a vicious circle.

_Ugh_, she inwardly groaned missing the tough girl and shifted on her feet realizing she'd been standing for too long. Not that she couldn't have remained standing in that position for hours, just that she knew she'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable sitting.

She walked around the island and perched herself upon one of the stools to watch him, since well she had nothing else to do. _ Totally not a she missed him during the day kinda thing. _He'd already placed dinner in the oven to cook and had now turned his attention to salad; he brought the tomatoes over to the island to keep her company. He stopped mid-slice and just looked at her.

"What?" she asked

"We're celebrating the day after tomorrow too," he said with a very focused look.

Puzzled for only the slightest moment out of where that statement came out of she realized, she was back in her original position. She warmed remembering him brush up against her as he reached out for his wine glass, that tender kiss that lead to the deeper kiss, long lingering kisses that had filled them with need.

Logan chuckled softly and she broke out of the memory in time to see him pushing the glass of milk she'd abandoned on the opposite end of the island towards her.

She accepted the glass and returned the smile before he went back to the tomato, she dropped her other hand down to the flurry of activity that was their daughter, _Hmm definitely no question of how you came into existence little one. _

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The Next Night: 

She was lounging on the sofa, pillows from their bed brought in, a light blanket draped across her. About as close as she could be to being in bed without being in bed, where she should probably be since she was getting tired, but the bedroom was seriously lacking any type of entertainment. Out here she had the tv and Logan occasionally coming by, once she was actually in bed he wouldn't come by to share random things or sit by her feet and watch tv for a few minutes as he rubbed the feet she'd probably no longer be able to see if she wasn't so flexible or at least that's what it felt like.

She eyes jerked open as she suddenly heard someone else in the room, "Zack?" she asked seeing her brother's form.

"Can't believe you shacked up with Moneybags," he said with a disbelieving shake of his head.

"Can't believe you still haven't learned how to use a door," Logan replied with as much disdain walking into the room.

Zack opened his mouth, but paused, "We can get into this later, we don't have time now. Up and at 'em Max."

"What's going on?" Logan asked before Max could, no emotion visible on his face, though she knew the worry that flooded through him just as it did her.

"None of your business Cale," Zack said with a turned head, "this is a family matter. You are not family."

"I am," Max said pushing herself up, the blanket still draped around her, "what the hell is going on Zack?"

"Got a lead on Tinga," he nodded.

"Where is she?" Max asked

"There's a research facility they've set up inside a converted silo near the municipal border. Pretty sure that's where they got her. Got some info from a pencil-pusher inside Manticore. So what do you say? Feel like going to save our sister or is playing house more important?"

Max's mouth opened, her first instant to jump up and toss on the black leather, but her daughter kicked and she remembered the last time she'd tried to save her sister. She caught the look in Logan's eyes, the 'you've got to be kidding me' look.

Zack's mouth opened and he turned from Max to Logan before back to Max, "You've got to be kidding me. Leave our sister high and dry because of this creep?"

_Oh well here it goes,_ she thought to herself, "I'm kind of more of a detriment than an attribute at the moment," she looked down at her stomach.

Zack's eyes followed, pieced together that little excess bulk he'd noticed wasn't just the way the blankets had fallen. Shock registered in his eyes, then hurt, then fury. A short intake of breath, a shake of his head, an angry glare towards Logan, "You, you I warned you, you just painted a bull's-eye on my sister's head." Disappointment as he turned to Max, "I can't believe you'd be so stupid. Everything we were taught…" he shook his head.

-o-o-o-

She didn't want to but she couldn't help it. The tears that she had barely managed to keep welled up in her eyes as she cleaned her brother's injuries came out full force once she walked into their bedroom, away from her brother's eyes and ears.

His arms came up around her and supported her weight as she started to crumple.

"Shh, shh," he whispered to her.

"I killed my sister," she cried, "I could have…"

"There was nothing you could do," Logan reassured.

"If I'd just gone…"

"She was already gone Max, this had nothing to do with you; it was already too late. The moment we lost her, she was gone. Manticore not you Max."

"I should've…"

"What Max? Gone and be captured? There was nothing you could do." He said leading her over to the bed to sit.

"She's dead Logan," she said curling into his side. Clutching their daughter with both of her hands.

"I know," he said holding her closer to him, "I'm sorry. But there was nothing you could have done. You kept Case safe, that's what she wanted."

"I should've…" she cried again.

"There was nothing you could have done," he reassured again.

_There should have been, she shoul__d have at least tried…_


	48. The Future's Almost Here

**Idlehands: **Yea I don't know why I have Max just ignore him (she did it the last time too). I'm gonna blame it on Max not wanting to appear more attached, Logan being able to handle himself and this time Max was just in shock.

**_AN: Okay let me clarify (though I have no idea if the people I need to clarify to even read this story). These 4 stories are being completed; they will all be completed by the end of the summer if not sooner. However the question Maggie asked which started this whole thing was if I had any plans for any future stories. I do not (at the moment that is). Kinda bled the muse dry, ten stories in like 7 months and over 250 thousand words. Yea I think the muse is taking a break to simply save my wrists and fingers because I think I typed more with this than all of college. _**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 48 **

**The Future's Almost Here **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

She shifted in bed.

Shifted for about the fifth time in a two minute period. She was almost completely on the opposite side of him, having long since found Logan was no longer actually comfortable to sleep on. If she weren't so damn uncomfortable that thought would probably make her more than a little emotional thinking of those wasted four months, refusing to sleep with him for long and refusing to cuddle on top of that. Completely ignoring the fact that that's what she was trying to recapture, what she'd been trying to recapture for months. This time had a point though, that one didn't or at least she couldn't remember it anymore.

She didn't feel any pity at his slight groan. Not an ounce of what she would have felt less than a month ago, nope not a single drop as he shifted in the bed and moved a few inches closer to her.

"I can't get comfortable," she whined and winced at her voice, so weak and pathetic. So unfair, this entire thing was just entirely unfair, ten years worth of training to fall asleep as the lights turned off, how many other years falling asleep wherever/whenever she could. Here she was though in an overpriced bed, the a/c jacked up so high Logan was sleeping with a heavy blanket and she had never been more uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," his voice replied out of habit, not even pausing to think as his hand sought out her lower back.

She gave a pity-me groan, she just wanted her damn body back; she was tired of sharing with her hog of a daughter. Especially at night, she missed being comfortable, she missed not having to get up to pee, she missed not being jolted awake by a well placed kick or being kept awake by them.

"I'm sorry," he apologized once more. "It's almost over, I swear," he murmured falling back asleep as he rubbed her back now that the thrashing in his bed had finally stopped.

She tensed at that, as much as she was ready to stop being pregnant she didn't like what that meant. So much time had passed already without Lydecker making another sweep for her; she knew it was just a matter of time. Everyday that passed which brought her closer to her daughter, also meant another day closer to losing Logan. "Yea, soon," she found herself replying unenthusiastically.

His eyes opened for that, the words that followed hesitant, "You know we should probably do some shopping." He began to open his mouth to say more, but stopped.

She just nodded gently, unenthusiastically, trying to ignore the heart wrenching pain that just tore through her.

_It was just a few days after their 'anniversary' things hadn't really quite returned to normal, not that she really had any idea what constituted normal for them anymore. Zack was at least gone, the disappointing looks he'd give her over, as where the angry ones he'd shoot at _ _Logan__. She'd watched the two men the entire time controlling themselves by the barest thread when it came to the other. _

_Zack was gone, _ _Logan__ was back at work. The world was seemingly normal except for the fact that her sister was dead. Charlie had lost his wife, Case his mommy. And Max was unable to do anything but think about it. Think about the danger her daughter faced, remembered Case lying so weak on the sofa. Think about how her daughter would only have one parent. _

_Kids needed two parents, she realized that as she had watched Penny and Charlie with Case even though Charlie had been ready to kill his wife…Kids needed, deserved two parents. _

_Wasn't an option though. _

_She knew that or at least she tried to remind herself of that. She wondered what he would do if she asked him to come with her. He'd probably come, his sense of honor and devotion wouldn't allow anything else. She wondered how long it would take for him to hate her? Life on the run wasn't pleasant. Him hating her though was still better than the alternatives, the day she'd suddenly have to leave him behind or worse the day Lydecker would catch him trying to get to her. _

_Bad scenarios everyway she looked. _

_She couldn't find the same joy as she had only days earlier in their daughter's kicks, the fact that she was never alone didn't bring her that same sense of peace instead it made it so she couldn't hide from her thoughts. _

_Then one day she'd seen black poking out of the tan jacket _ _Logan__ had draped over his desk chair. She had frowned looking at it, wondering what the hell it was and suddenly having horrific images of pulling out of pair of someone's panties as she'd heard the horror stories of. _

_It had been cotton though as she'd gone to grab it, still looking puzzled she opened it. _

_Black onesie, hot pink lettering, 'Girl's kick ass.' _

_She just stared at it, no tears, just staring. _

_Logan__ laughed walking up behind her, "Saw it today when Mark and I were getting lunch. Thought you'd like it." _

_He was grinning as she turned around, now ordering the tears to not even think about making an appearance, "I do," she nodded. _

_She moved into his arms for a kiss, missing the close proximity they'd stopped being able to share in the simple little gesture thanks to their daughter. _

"So what do you say? Shopping tomorrow? I think I can manage to take a half day."

She nodded and let herself lean back into his embrace as his hand rested over their daughter.

She was reminded of something looking at him after she finally shifted herself out of his embrace a few minutes after he fell asleep. What she'd realized as he'd given her that tiny scrap of fabric. _They weren't like Charlie and Tinga._

He never once asked her to leave their daughter with him. Case would have had to been pried out of his father's dead hands. Logan didn't ask once. He trusted their daughter with her. The little girl Max knew Logan loved with all of his heart even though he'd tried so hard not to get attached.

_I know how that goes_, she thought as she sighed looking at his restful features and pulled the blanket that had fallen back up around him. _God she wasn't ready for this to end. _


	49. Ready or Not

**Maria: **Yay, you're still out there! I was so sad when I didn't see your name for awhile.

**Babyangel:** Let me get this straight, the girl who yells at me to post 4 stories within a 24 hour period has completed chapters and isn't posting them? Yea, don't think you get to do that.

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 49 **

**Ready or Not **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

She thought she would have ready.

She thought that but she quickly realized she wasn't.

The washed clothing carefully tucked away in the drawers of the guestroom. The baby carrier, the snugli, the travel crib, the diaper bag packed full of not only diapers, but everything that could ail a baby.

She thought she was ready but she wasn't.

Her mind had been lulled into a false sense of security; she hadn't thought she was really going to need the money tucked into the drawer that Logan had one day mentioned in passing.

But then there Zack was standing in her hallway and all she could think was, 'No!' It was too soon, she couldn't have to leave yet. She wanted to see Logan with their daughter, she wanted him to see their daughter, wanting him by her side as she came into this word. Everything sentimental and sappy she wanted.

"No," she found herself whispering.

"Good you're dressed, grab a bag let's go," he said moving towards her. "God you're big," he said once he was finally upon her since she hadn't moved to follow his directions, "when are you due?"

"Less than a week," she said finally speaking, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. _This couldn't be happening, not now. _

"That'll make things interesting," he said with a roll of his eyes as he continued on to her room.

She turned and watched him go for a second still just too stunned to speak,

"That's it?" she asked forcing him to turn.

"What?"

"You just show up and expect me to go with you no questions asked?"

"Lydecker's men are moving in on the city," he supplied. "We need to move out now," he finished forcefully as her C.O.

_What the hell could have tipped them off, _she wondered.

As if on cue he answered, "They followed Syl in from Portland."

"Syl's here?" the excitement in her voice grew despite what it meant.

"Was," he nodded and started to tear through her closet looking for a bag, "headed out last night, left me a voicemail saying where they were."

"So they're not looking for me," a hand went out and separated her brother from her things.

"Maxie, they're gonna look for you while they're here. They know what you look like, they know this is your home turf," he grimaced at the words as he grabbed the bag she had been trying to keep him from. "They're here, they'll look for you too," he nodded as he threw her bag onto the bed walking back into the main area of the room.

"So I'll stay in the apartment," her hand shot out as he went to open her drawers, "stay out of my things."

"Max, we don't have time for this," his hand moved right past hers and forced the drawer open.

His attention snapped up with the sound of the front door opening.

" Logan," she whispered.

He came looking for her without calling out in deference to her sleeping whenever and wherever she could. He paused in the doorway, his eyes traveling from the bed where he first looked for her to her. "Going somewhere?"

"Great he's here, say goodbye, I'll finish packing."

She slammed the drawer shut almost taking off his fingers, "I just said I wasn't going."

"Maybe someone should tell me what's going on," Logan suggested.

That prompted the annoyed glare Zack had been shooting her to be transferred to Logan, "Like normal, my sister's letting her emotions override any common sense."

"They're not after me," she fumed.

"Max, they're here, they know you've been here. They're going to look for you," he broke it down simply.

"Manticore's here?"

"Real swift Cale, did you just realize that?"

She watched as Logan's temper fueled to levels close to her own, "Syl was in town and now Lydecker's looking for her."

Logan was cut off from reacting by the siblings bickering.

"Max they're not going to just look for her," her brother repeated.

"I'll be fine," she forcefully nodded.

"Max you're letting hormones-"

"I cannot believe-"

"Hey," Logan called out and they both turned. "He's got a point Max," he said with his voice several decibels lower.

_No, _she didn't care, she didn't want to go,_ this could all just blow over. _

"So glad you agree," Zack said with his normal disdain.

"I'll be fine," she said once more.

"Yea Max, when Normal goes to sell information again and they drop through the skylight while we're sleeping, you'll be fine, the baby will be fine."

Her mouth opened as her hand tightened over her stomach, _she knew that_, she'd known that, but she still didn't want to go, not now. Why had Syl led them to Seattle? Why now? They couldn't have given her just a few more weeks? She just wanted to have her baby. _Was that really asking so much?_

"Look Max," Logan said walking towards her, "no one's saying this won't blow over in a few days. They could come in sweep the city, not find anything and leave."

That sparked something within her, a new hope in the blackness she'd been in since seeing Zack.

"That's a best case scenario," Zack said angrily.

"It's still a possibility," Logan focused directly on Zack's face. "Max can go for a few days-"

"Max can go-"

"Hey anyone gonna ask Max what she wants?" she asked.

They both turned awaiting an answer.

"I'm coming back if they leave; my daughter is not going to be born in some abandoned apartment or warehouse."

Logan flinched at that.

"Max, we'll figure something out don't worry," Zack answered.

_Not the kind of thing you couldn't not worry _about and she was confronted with the image of giving birth to her daughter as Lydecker's men moved in on her. Which was totally unwarranted since she would be leaving to get away from them. "Tinga used a midwife," she supplied the knowledge she'd received from her sister, midwives didn't run blood tests, didn't notice their temps were always slightly higher than normal. Keeping hospitals from running tests…there were a whole slew of things that could go wrong.

" Cape Haven," Logan said.

Max and Zack both turned.

"Trudy won't ask questions, it's the perfect place to lay low for awhile."

"Will you come with me?" she asked before she even realized what she was saying.

He nodded, "I need to set up some things here first. Talk to Matt and a few other people. It'll be fine," he said in response to the worry on her face.

" Cape Haven?" Zack asked.

"A little town almost three hours from here complete with doctor. You guys can go ahead in Max's car and-"

"I scored a car already,"

"Zack a stolen car-"

"Don't worry, they're not looking for it," the blue eyes said icily.

"Not gonna ask," Logan said with an outtake of breath.

"I'll grab my things," Max nodded.

"I'll get started on the other room," he said as he turned.

Her hand stopped from pulling open the drawer; he was going to pack up the baby's things in case she couldn't come back.

_They would still be together a little while longer; _she thought to herself, _it wasn't today. _That thought would keep her strong, it had to.


	50. Here She Comes

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 50**

**Here She Comes**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-**

"Hey Maxie," Zack said turning his attention away from the road to look at Max shifting in the seat, "you okay?"

"Yea," she nodded, "just peachy. My life's been turned upside down because Syl couldn't stay under the radar, but yea don't worry I'm fine."

"Because you've done such a fine job at that?"

"I was looking for you guys," she defended turning to glare into her brother's eyes seemingly completely focused on her and not the road.

"Ah and here we are," he gloated.

She groaned as she turned her attention back to the monotonous tract of cracked asphalt. _Why hadn't she decided to stop looking for them months earlier? _

He turned still smirking as he easily bypassed a large pothole.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She shifted again as she looked at her cell phone waiting for that line to disappear and she'd have a shot in hell at getting a signal.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked again obviously not believing her earlier statement of always being uncomfortable this far along, which she'd used to explain her near constant shifting. It might be true, but it definitely wasn't the only reason, nerves and other things were playing a key role in her actions.

She decided to skip the waiting for a damn bar to appear on her phone, "Gotta use the can."

"You're kidding, we're less than an hour away, you went before we left."

"And I gotta go again," wasn't an outright lie, she could definitely use to go again, but she could still hold it for hours easily even with a kid pressing down on it.

"Fine,' he scoffed, "we'll get off on the next exit."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A groan of disdain emerged from him as she exited the rather disgusting ladies room and promptly shot down his thoughts of getting right back in the car and heading back out.

"I'm gonna call Logan see what he's turned up," she said heading straight for the black phone booth she'd spotted while approaching, the reason why this place instead of the two previous ones they'd passed was the one she'd wanted to stop at, using the lie of 'they look like they have dirty johns.'

"You can call him when we get there."

"No phone, might as well do it now," she said walking past him and picking up the phone digging out the change from her bag.

"Can I get some privacy?" she asked before she hit the last digit as her brother draped himself across the box.

He gave her another exasperated look and flung himself off of it and headed inside the small store.

"Hello?" Logan's voice asked from the other end just as the glass door violently shook by her.

"Hey," she said leaning forward onto the metal.

"Hey," his voice softened at the sound of hers, "how's everything going? You're not there yet are you?"

"Nah, Zack hasn't been setting any speed records today."

"That's good you'd probably break an axel or lose a tire if you tried."

"Hmmm," she said not really interested in that. "So wanna hear something interesting?"

"Sure," his voice was hesitant.

"Figured out why they always say you shouldn't excite a pregnant woman," as if on cue a contraction hit and she gripped the side and let her mouth fall open in a pant.

"Max…"

"Yea," she nodded even though there was no one there to see it.

"You're?"

"Uh huh," another nod.

"You sure?"

"Oh yea."

"Uh…Are you okay?"

She almost laughed, _was she okay?_ In what world was having a baby on the run okay? Having a baby, in the middle of nowhere, stuck with her brother instead of her boyfriend? She was nervous, anxious as all hell and throwing up was looking like a real good option. _No definitely not okay_, "I'm fine," she answered.

"How…uh…when…"

As much as she'd normally find Logan at a loss for words this wasn't one of those times, "They started right before we left the city."

"And you're just calling me now?" she could hear the shock in his voice.

"Didn't really know what was going on, you wanna try figuring out which pain means what? By the time I figured out what was going on I'd lost signal."

"Oh"

"So can you call Trudy and ask her to meet us at the cabin?"

"She was going to do that anyway, but I'll call her and tell her what's going on." There was silence over the phone for a moment as she knew Logan was struggling to think. "How far apart are they?"

"Far, I haven't had a lot."

"Max I need a time frame to tell her."

"Just under fifteen now."

"Nothings…"

"Ruined the upholstery of Zack's boosted ride? No."

"Okay well that's good."

"I guess so," she nervously swallowed and wished she could just break down over the phone to him.

"Okay I'm going to call Trudy…Are you going to be okay to make it the rest of the way out there?"

_NO! _That inner voice screamed full force again, "Yea got a whiles to go according to all of your books."

"That's good,"

She wasn't too sure she agreed with that one, she was normally a tear the band-aid straight off kinda girl, but as she was about to open her mouth to fight him, she realized she really didn't mind waiting so much, she had this pregnancy thing down, anything else that followed was a new game.

"Okay, I'm going to go call Trudy," he repeated himself.

"Are you going to come?" she found the words flowing desperately out of her mouth as she realized he was about to hang up on her.

"Yea, I just need to make a few more phone calls. Make sure everything's set up."

"Okay," another nod no one could see.

"Uh? Not really sure what I'm supposed to say here," he chuckled.

She gave a scared, heart warmed smile, "Just hurry."

"I'll be there soon, pretend Zack's me and beat the crap out of him when it gets bad."

She laughed, "Will do."

"Max, I…" his voice trailed off and he quickly changed his tone, "I'll see you soon."

"Yea," she nodded, her eyes flinching in pain that he'd stopped himself from saying the words, "soon. Bye," she said and hung up before he could respond again.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Zack slowed the car as they approached the town's entrance and four men holding shotguns, Max easily recognized three of the men from the last time she'd been in this position, two of which she'd seen later at the bar.

Those two approached the car like tweedledee and tweedledum, Tweedle dee approached Zack's side and dum came around to hers. Normally she'd be pissed she got the lackey, since BC had made his stature well known even during a simple evening out, not today though. She just wanted to get to the cabin with no problems.

"Ah Trudy was right," BC said ducking his head down to see across the car, "I do remember you. Max is it?" his eyes lingered on her belly. "Don't remember you though," he said bringing his eyes back to Zack, he popped his head over the roof, "you remember him Clyde?"

"Can't say that I do," he said looking across at Zack.

"Could be because you haven't met me," Zack suggested.

"An attitude, that's nice," BC said looking down at him.

_Great leave it to her brother, who could suck up to _ _Normal__ to be an ass to these guys. _

"BC," a booming voice called out and Max saw Herman striding towards them, "didn't I tell you to leave her alone? Trudy came by and told you she'd be coming."

"Hey," he said stepping back from the car, "just making sure they don't have any plans of sticking around."

"Yea because we'd-"

Zack was cut off by Max punching him in the leg.

"Thanks Herman," Max said to the man approaching her door.

He just waved it off, "Gotta ignore those boys, they're mostly all talk. I'll make sure they don't give Logan any problems."

"Thanks," she smiled.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

She was almost at the trunk as Zack was already lifting up a bag full of groceries as another contraction hit and she paused briefly closing her eyes.

"What was that Max?"

"What?" she asked moving again.

"You're having the baby," his voice was suddenly dry.

"Not at this minute so you can stop looking at me like that," she said moving to sling her back over her shoulder.

He ripped it away from her.

She was about to rip it back, not at all caring full out brawls probably weren't recommended for someone in her current state when the door opened.

"You made good time," Trudy said coming out onto the porch. "Of course considering how expensive gas is these days that's not too surprising," she said walking down the stairs. "How are you feeling, any changes?" she asked dropping her hand down to take Max's wrist and look at her watch.

Max shook her head suddenly the nerves not only making a reappearance after being forgotten about by being annoyed by her brother, but tripling as she realized just how real this whole situation was.

Trudy looked up from her watch to look at Max's face, "Why don't we get you inside?" She looked up to the porch, "Sage can you help Max's brother carry this stuff in?"

Max looked up to see the young boy who'd seemed to grow several inches since the last time she was here nod, "Hi Max," he said quietly.

"Hi Sage," she smiled.

"Okay," Trudy said patting her on the hand, "let's get you inside."

* * *

How to make me more traumatized than I was on the Christopher Reeve's site? Me trying to look at labor stuff…Once more big fan of ignorance is bliss. Wow that site got x-ed out real quick. Yup skipping all that stuff. Such a big fan of the stork.


	51. And There She Is

Bob: You're still around! I'm so happy. I thought I did something to drive you off.

Yea I keep thinking I know it all and then I just get more and more details. That birth video in health…that just looks painful, that I always knew….The ickiness factor….That just keeps growing every year. So yea we're so flying by this because I am not dwelling. It's not really a totally straightforward birth Becsy Lexi, after all I did make her have to run from Seattle, that was enough drama for the poor girl. And let's remember folks Logan did tell Max he loved her, Max chose to take their relationship back ten steps.

BC and the Gang: Nope, all alive along with Herman. I had Max sleep through the time she'd spent with Sage last time and drama did not occur.

**AN: Doing short flashes of scenes for at least this chapter and the next to keep it moving so scream at the end if it annoyed or confused you.**

**

* * *

**

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 51 **

**And There She Is **

**-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- **

"That's amazing," Trudy said taking in the smooth skin of Max's stomach.

"Huh?" Max asked lifting up her head to look at the doctor.

"You have absolutely no stretch marks, not even the faintest of lines, I've never seen that."

Max smiled uneasily before letting her head drop back down, "Benefits of youth."

Trudy smiled and shook her head, "More like amazing genes."

-o-o-o-o-

She emerged from the shower she'd been sent off to by Trudy saying the water would be relaxing and being promised the birth was a long way off.

Zack's eyes narrowed in on her stomach as he sipped a glass of water while sitting on the floor with a board game in between him and Sage.

"Shut up," she said knowing he was looking at the hand painted words on the black nightshirt she'd been given by Original Cindy and Kendra, 'I'm not fat, I'm pregnant,' her stomach read.

"Nice shirt," he said ignoring her with a nod as he put the glass back down, "don't you think so Sage?"

"Ignore him," Max said to the young boy who was looking rather unsure as to what he should do.

"Sage," Trudy said walking into the room, "time to hit the hay."

"But-" he began.

"Bed," she said firmly.

His mouth was firmly set as were his eyes as he was about to fight the hopeless battle.

"Hey," Zack nodded and Sage turned back, "the game'll keep till the morning."

"Okay," he nodded to the cool older city dweller.

"I put earplugs on your nightstand," Trudy nodded towards her nephew.

_Earplugs? _Max's stomach clenched in fear.

Trudy took in Max's suddenly pale face, "The cabin's small Max, if we talk he'll hear us. I hope you don't mind that he stays, your brother said he didn't mind giving up the bed, I don't like leaving him alone at night."

"Yea, no, no problem," Max said looking around the room wondering what exactly she should be doing with herself.

"You might want to walk a bit," Trudy said startling Max out of her suddenly very dazed thoughts.

She turned.

"Activity helps speed up the process," she said in terms and tone used for someone not quite there.

"Oh," she said with a nod of her head and her nine millionth swallow of fear of the day. _Where the hell was _ _Logan_

-o-o-o-

Max found herself growing more apprehensive as the hours past. More importantly as the hour passed that Logan should have arrived.

She should probably be finding the situation slightly amusing as Trudy's head was tilted back on the chair and her legs were propped up on the coffee table as she rested up for the long night they had ahead of them. Zack kept having extreme moments of uneasiness for the first time that she could ever remember. She didn't know if it was from being around any woman in general who was in labor or his sister, but her CO kept having moments were he'd completely vanish and left in his place was someone completely incompetent.

She couldn't though.

It had started raining almost three hours ago and had long since turned dark. The streetlights on the highways had long since been for decoration, combine that with the rain and the wildlife population that hadn't been taken out by the hunters in search of food…Well the point was she wouldn't stop worrying until he turned up.

"Never thought, I'd see the day where you were like this over a guy," Zack said walking up behind her as she peeked out the window for the second time in five minutes.

"Don't start," she said turning and heading into the kitchen.

He followed. "I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into Maxie," he said as she pulled open the fridge door with a little more force than necessary.

She smirked, "Probably should have given me that talk nine months ago," a quick look down at her stomach, before flashing over to him briefly, "it's a little late now."

"It's not too late until you get in that car to go back with him," his voice was low.

She turned away from the fridge and was surprised bye his suddenly caring blue eyes.

"I know that you can't do it on your own Max," his eyes didn't leave hers.

_What was he saying? _

"We don't have to split up, I'll stick around. If I can't be there, I'll find someone else. We're family; you're not in this alone."

Her mouth opened, but no words came out. _How long had she been waiting to hear that? _For a full decade that had been the only dream she'd known.

A car pulling up snapped her out of her reverie, _Logan, _her mind instantly flashed to, then as quickly as that came to mind it was replaced by the fact that it could be Herman coming to tell them bad news. The fridge door slipped from her hand as did any recollection about being in the middle of a conversation with her brother, she moved to take that first step, not even noticing her brother's hurt expression when another contraction hit and she automatically reached out a hand to brace herself on her brother's forearm.

"Breathe," her brother reminded.

She looked up with an angry glare, especially since she'd forgotten to do just that, _wasn't her fault they'd been trained to grit their teeth and take the pain_. She found her breath returning though as the contraction was subsiding.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," another glare.

The door was opening as she walked into view of it. She stopped for a second suddenly petrified that it would be Herman. But as the door pushed open, the lights suddenly framed him and highlighted all the glistening drops of rain that had stuck to him on his dash up the stairs. His eyes lifted up and caught hers, he smiled and for a split second she forgot how scared shitless she was.

-o-o-o-

"I'm sorry," he said as she once more dug her nails into his flesh as another pain wracked her body. She'd said every single comeback she had to say and more than a few un-pleasantries to the conscious males in the cabin. Trudy had moved her into the bedroom not too long ago telling her that she was getting closer and that maybe she would be more comfortable in there after she'd shifted into every single type of position she could think of and paced around the cabin, snapping at Logan and Zack whenever they'd go near her.

At this point she was just starting to feel defeated and seriously wondering how the human race had gone on for so long. So she was crumpled into Logan's side, hidden away from her brother she had no desire to play the role of tough girl. Logan though was kinda funny when she thought about it, he had been throughout. She wondered if all guys sucked up this much and played nice, he catered to every mood, every craving, all without moaning. _Well maybe no moaning was pushing it, but definitely less than most people in his position._

"You should be, seriously I screw up once and look at what happens," she smiled a bit. "Gotta prove your virility in every single aspect?"

She looked up and caught the small smile that had escaped his lips despite his worry that quickly passed as her eyes shut and her fingers dug into his bicep again.

-o-o-o-

Her lids were flickering shut already. She'd had a quick shot of adrenaline paired with relief as her daughter entered this world, just as she'd expected her to, loudly.

Loud because she was strong. All of her was strong, stronger than her mother had ever been.

Strong and captivating.

She had pulled Max in with a single look. The first time the brown met grayish blue bringing them closer than they had actually ever been.

She could sleep now though. Secure in the fact that her daughter was safe in her father's arms as he too was captivated by just how amazing she truly was in person.

Max realized she'd finally done something completely right in this world as she fell asleep from the contentment and exhaustion.

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Like I said, big fan of the stork. :-D 

Thanks for reading and remember reviewing is always nice and who knows it may actually encourage me to update in under two months. :-D Well it at least can't hurt. :-P


	52. Decisions

**AN: This just sounds/reads odd. I don't know why. Just warning. Hopefully it'll be cleared up by the next one. **

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**-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 52 **

**Decisions **

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

She came awake quickly to the sound of her brother's voice yelling out, "Nice throw." Her head twisted as her eyes shot open and her body instinctively moved to shoot up. She groaned, _not a good idea_, she quickly realized and let herself fall back down.

"Whoa," Logan said quickly coming to her side, "probably should take it a little easy," a small smile accompanied his words as a hand slid against her head.

"Now you tell me," she followed with a sigh. "How is she?" Her gaze moved to the spot Logan had just left, the white basinet where their daughter lay.

"Sleeping, which is what you should still be doing," he smiled again. "They wake you?" he nodded towards the window.

"I think so," she murmured as she heard a door close. "How long was I asleep?"

"Almost half an hour," he said as his hand once more brushed back the stray waves of hair.

"Hmmm," another murmur, "I feel gross." Her tee-shirt had become a second skin.

He smiled some more, "I think gross is more than one up compared to where you were an hour ago."

A groan of true disgust and displeasure at the memory, tired, achy and dirty had nothing on that.

"I thought I heard your voice," Trudy said softly as she pushed open the door, stopping briefly to look down upon the sleeping newborn, "I'm sorry about the boys, I told them to keep it down. How are you feeling?" She asked as she moved over to the bed.

"Disgusting"

Trudy smiled knowingly.

_As if she's ever gone through this, _Max thought in annoyance, _Sage is her nephew. _

"How about I get a washcloth and some water, clean you up a bit?"

Max shook her head and pressed down on her hand pushing herself up, "I can do it myself." _Wow things were hurting that she didn't even know she had. _

"Hey," Logan began as Trudy said, "Max," as they both moved to keep her in bed.

"You need to rest for awhile longer," Trudy said taking over.

She turned to Logan, "I just want to wash my face and change my shirt."

He looked at her debating about the determination he saw in her face, he sighed and moved to slip an arm in behind her to help her up the rest of the way. She groaned as her feet swung over the edge.

"Sure you want to do this?"

Dark eyes shot up in irritation, "Just help me up will you?"

He smirked and laughed as Trudy looked on in confusion at their interactions as he did just that.

"I can walk on my own," she said as Logan's arm stayed braced around her, supporting most of her weight as they moved.

"Max," he was only about to put up with so much.

Her need for independence fully reared its ugly head, " Logan," she stated back just as firmly.

"Fine," he said and started to release his grip slowly.

_Woah, where'd her legs go? _She dropped less than a centimeter before his arm tightened around her again.

"You done playing tough girl?" he asked looking down at her gently.

Her eyes stayed focused ahead on her goal of the bathroom, "Shut up."

-o-o-o-

She came back out to freshly changed sheets wearing an olive button down of Logan's Trudy had handed in to Logan who had refused to leave her side despite her orders otherwise. She refused to be affected by the changes in her body, refused to allow her mind to allow in that vain girl who didn't want Logan seeing her this way.

_Logan's baby, he was the one who did this to her. _At least that was what her mind kept repeating, she had actually smirked as Logan had gone to help her remove the shirt as she thought of her insecurities as she struggled for a reason behind them. _ It was that she wanted him to want to do it again. _Talk about twisted, thinking about sex less than an hour after having a kid.

_Kid. _

That distracted her from the horror of not only not being physically perfect, but weak.

_Baby. _

'Did we decide on a name?' she asked as his fingers nimbly fastened the buttons on her shirt.

That distracted his attention and he looked up with yet another smile, 'No, we did decide you hate about three hundred names though.'

She smiled and looked only slightly apologetic, _not her fault he had a bad last name. _'I still think we should name her after your mom.'

'My mom hated her name.'

She'd heard this argument before, but she wanted the baby to have something of his for the times she wouldn't have his last name. She sighed as her head tilted back and pondered, 'So what about Alicia, Alyssa," her head dropped down, 'Allison.' _That worked. Not cutesy, not trendy, a normal, solid, good name, close to _ _Alice_

He must have agreed because he looked up.

'Allison,' she nodded.

'Allison Evelyn Cale,' he said.

She smiled, _Evelyn after Eva,_ she nodded, 'Allison Evelyn Cale.'

So they'd stepped back out into the room with a name for their daughter and she repeated it softly as she leaned into Logan as they stood overlooking the sleeping infant as Max's finger softly traced over the tiny hand.

"She'll be up soon enough Max," Trudy said walking over steering her and Logan back towards the bed. "I want you to get some rest, both of you," she shot Logan an accusing look. "You both need to learn to sleep when she's sleeping."

-o-o-o-

She took in his exhausted eyes as he settled himself into the wooden chair positioned by their daughter's basinet. She'd woken up as he'd gingerly lifted himself out of bed trying not to disturb her. A quick look at the clock next to her informed her she'd slept for yet another half hour.

She watched him for a moment as he settled in close to just watch Allison as she slept; he wasn't touching her just looking down at her. She was about to tease him, ask him if she was still breathing when his eyes still full of compassion and love looked up and back over to the bed, to her stopping any thought she had.

He guiltily smiled at being caught, "Sorry didn't mean to wake you."

She shrugged her shoulders, _didn't really bother her._

"You should probably go back to sleep."

Funny, she was tired, but she suddenly didn't want to sleep. She didn't want to miss this. She didn't know what it was, but this feeling mattered more than sleep. "She still breathing?" she finally remembered to ask with a smile.

Another guilty look, "Appears to be."

"You're not trying to wake her up are you?"

He laughed softly and his head shook, "I'm not that stupid. Pissing her off, is probably about as smart of an idea of pissing off her Mama," he teased.

_Mama?_ That teasing words sounded even better than it had a few days ago. She'd never really had one, yet now she was one. She realized now for sure her mother must have loved her, at least a little bit. She knew now it was completely impossible not to.

She smiled, "You should probably get some sleep Logan."

He turned and caught his reflection in the mirror, his hair had been showing signs when he arrived of his fingers running through it as he rushed to get her, that had been hours upon hours ago. Right now it was all sticking up in an undifferentiated mess. His eyes were starting to be lined and bags were starting to make an appearance. His clothing was shockingly in order despite what it had gone through, the baggy gray sweats and white tee shirt appearing no different than all the nights Max had tried to freeze him out of the penthouse.

"Good thing her eyes don't focus yet," he said turning back to catch another glimpse of 'her.'

"Never know, she is half me."

Logan looked over, "Kittens eyes are shut at birth," he said seriously as he teased.

Max made a face, "Yea never been so happy to see a pair of blue eyes in my life." _No barcodes, no tails, lids open, they were out to a good start. _

He laughed softly as he leaned back in the chair, examining Max as he'd set out to do a few minutes ago. His lips curved up in puzzlement and Max couldn't help but smile as she too started to look confused as Logan turned back to the window.

"What?" she asked as Logan was once more facing her and slightly shaking his head.

"How is it I look like this and you're the one that just had the baby?" he asked.

_Only _ _Logan_she thought, she'd seen what she looked like earlier in the bathroom. She shook her head at him.

"What?" he asked seriously.

She shook her head, "Will you just come back to bed before she wakes up?"

He laughed as he started to stand. The baby started to stir for that, their first words above the lowest decibel Logan could hear.

Max once more started to shoot up, but decided to give a low groan instead as Logan's fingers hovered over Allison as he shot a worried look over at Max. The baby quickly fell back asleep without ever really waking up and he looked back up, apologetic once more.

"Bed," was all she said.

He shook his head and smiled as he moved 'round. He gently stroked the side of her face before settling into bed causing her to turn away from their daughter to him.

She ignored the pain as she turned to her side and curled into him and he dropped down a kiss to the top of her head once she was settled.

_It was worth it. _

Not just the pain of the present, but the pains of the past. They had all been worth it to get her to this very point in time

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**Thanks for reading everyone!**

Babyboo: Okay I'm hoping you make it back over to this category on your own because you didn't leave your email. Thanks for reading. I'm glad you didn't fall asleep on your keyboard or anything.

Bob: So glad your upheaval has allowed you to return to us.

Allison: Hi new reader, totally wish I could say I named the baby after you, but it was planned that way and I'm too nice to lie. Welcome to my story though. You should come check out the Dark Angel Reflection Board, got tons of ML (it's the first site when you google it).


	53. A Foreign World

Becsy Lexi: Alyssa is actually the name I had in this chapter (it was written in that first month or so of the story). For some reason it worked really well in this chapter, but not the last one (I blame my mind's unwillingness to compromise and change the middle name) and since I had always just been planning on calling the baby Allie, I switched it over to Allison. You know what they say though, _great minds think alike. _

Bob: I think all good/normal times in DA are just the calm before the storm. There is always something around the bend for them.

**AN: Many thanks to Maria who soothed my fears about having Max be overdone in the 'in pain area' and the hormonal aspect which this chapter deals with. That being said let me point out she had to confirm and elaborate on my previous knowledge of post-childbirth time (which is pretty decently limited) the only thing even more limited than that is how babies actually behave. So I apologize in advance for all my boo boos.**

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**-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 53 **

**A Foreign World **

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

She groaned once more as she started to shoot up. She wasn't this stupid, she really should have figured it out after the first half a dozen times that moving wasn't quite as pleasant as it had been a day ago.

"Is she okay?" Max asked to Logan who had already shot out of bed and dashed around to her side where their daughter was now crying for only the second time in her short life.

"Shhshhh," Logan was murmuring to their daughter, trying to comfort her as he carefully scooped her into is arms. "I think so," he said as her crying took a hiccupping break, "probably hungry. Trudy said to try to feed her as soon as she woke up."

"Oh," Max had a vague memory of that in the middle of her euphoric high after her daughter's birth shortly before she crashed from exhaustion. _God they were beautiful together, _she thought as Logan smiled over at her and started the short walk back to the bed.

"Hey let's go to Mommy," he cooed to Allison, who still didn't appear to know if she wanted to be crying or not.

She pushed herself up in order to take her daughter. She couldn't help but smile seeing the scrunched up red face, wondering how exactly she'd managed to grow more beautiful in less than 2 hours. "Hey Allie, you hungry?" she asked as she stroked one of the angry red cheeks.

"You know I think Trudy said to come get her so she could help," Logan said from his position next to them on the bed, his finger wrapped tightly in their daughter's hand, not at all making any effort to actually move.

" Logan," Max began with a tilt of her head, "woman have been feeding their kids since…well the start of the world."

"You haven't," he pointed out.

She just gave him a look, she'd never seen a cat need to learn how to nurse, _it was just natural right? _Baby to nipple?

_How exactly to get baby to nipple? _

"Uh," a quick shake of her head.

"Need some help?"

She shook her head; **she had this under control,** _just hard to think clearly with all the crying._ One hand tentatively left her daughter to seek out the buttons of her shirt.

It was clumsy and with each failed attempt, each second longer, Allie's cries seemed to increase in intensity as her eyes and head, even limbs desperately moved seeking out something to ease this unknown feeling. Max knew the feeling well herself.

"Max, let me help you," Logan moved closer.

"No," she snapped, "I can do this." **She had to be able to do this. **It was the most basic of things.

Her shirt finally fell open and she tugged it to the side. She moved the baby closer towards the intended target, but she just continued to cry.

"Come on," Max found herself cooing softly to the beet red infant, an almost non-existent bounce meant to sooth her she shifted her.

"Uh," Logan began and Max's eyes shot up to him, seeing him filled with an worry she hadn't really seen before, different than even seeing her in labor. Worry for his child, a child she knew he loved even more now that he had before. "The book said you should tease your nipple in her mouth to get her to latch on," there was no flush to his cheeks from embarrassment.

There was on Max's though, well if not flush than shock. _Why hadn't she remembered that? _"Right," she nodded.

It was awkward, trying to twist the baby into the proper position.

"Do you-"

"No," once more she cut him off quickly. _Baby. Nipple. _Shouldn't be so hard. Her hands suddenly seemed awkward and clumsy though, and despite her best attempts Allie seemed completely oblivious to the nipple, no idea she was supposed to latch on to the thing being brushed against and into her mouth as Max tried to softly talk her into it, which resulted in begging rather quickly.

Max looked up, this time not able to mask the fear, once more catching worry in his eyes.

"You're stressed," he said suddenly appearing to be calm, he wasn't though, she could still see it in his eyes. He sat down next to her and stroked their daughter's head. "Sure you're not part canine? Cause maybe then she's picking up on your fear," he smiled.

She gave a watery smile back.

"Come on," he nodded, "try to relax." His free hand moved from wrapped around her to gently caressing her back. His lips pressed softly against the exposed shoulder from where the shirt had fallen to the side.

"She hates me," Max choked out in and buried herself into his shoulder and tears suddenly spilled out of her eyes.

"No she doesn't," Logan promised into her hair.

A quick nod, "She knows what I was going to do. What I almost did."

"You didn't though Max, you gave her life, she loves you."

As quickly as she turned to him, she turned away and turned her gaze back downwards.

Logan was undeterred and his soft voice switched between both females without pause, his hand moved away from the top of their daughter's head to help guide her in the right direction.

"Shh Max," he soothed as the tears were threatening to spill out of her eyes in another downpour, "it's okay, takes some time all the books say it does. She's not going to starve in a matter of minutes." Kisses to her shoulder, cheek, head, scattered in between those words.

"Just like your momma when you're hungry aren't you?" A smile, "Loud." Soft encouragements to her to eat.

Somewhere in-between all that Max realized that her trembles had started to lessen, she hadn't even been aware of them beginning.

A quick knock.

"Come in," Logan gently called out.

Max looked up, it was Zack.

"Hey I heard her crying, everything alright?" He gave a brief nod down, but never looking at Allie, after walking in and his eyes automatically seeking out the source of the noise, which was right by Max's breast.

"Where's Trudy?" Logan's voice was authoritative, a man used to being in charge.

"She had to run Sage into town, said she'd be back in ten to fifteen." He nodded, worry too in his eyes, "Should be back by now. Want me to go track her down?"

Logan's head shook, "No-"

"Oww," Max said automatically and her eyes shot away from theirs back down to the suddenly quieted infant. She smiled seeing Allie's mouth now doing the busy work of feeding, a weird new noise suddenly filling the room and a new sensation coursing through Max.

Max gave a relieved smile and the tears started to pour out again.

"What'd I tell you," Logan said softly into her ear as she relaxed against him, no longer holding herself so tightly, "just like her momma." His lips teased up.

She smiled and nodded, "Just look at her go."

It was sometime later that Max finally looked up and realized her brother had disappeared out of the room without even a word.

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**Okay like normal no idea if you liked or hated it so let me know. Thanks for reading everyone! **

**Side note (if anyone cares): That whole "She hates me" thing was originally going to be said to Zack not Logan and it was going to be more drawn out (get a real out of the ordinary Max), but then it suddenly didn't fit the chapter, so it that felt extra choppy there I apologize. **


	54. Farewells

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 54 **

**Farewells **

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

She felt a little foolish when it was all said and done.

Trudy had come in and apologized, blaming her delay on a stall that took a little more effort than normal to get the truck going again. Checked on the feeding newborn and smiled that they seemed to have everything under control.

Allison fell fast asleep with her lips only halfway separated from Max.

Logan had laughed softly and run the back of his fingers over their daughter's sweet face causing her to move that final bit away from Max. He tugged up the shirt over Max, so she was covered again, but didn't bother trying to do up the buttons.

It was just her and Logan once more awake in the quiet. Leaning back into his arms, as their daughter lay in hers. Everything completely and utterly at peace.

"I can't believe she's actually here," his voice was soft she could feel its warmth brush past her.

Max smiled, "Hard to believe so much can change in less than a day." _This tiny little person was no longer inside of her and was now so incredibly real. _

"Good change though," his fingers went over Max's upon their daughter's small but perfect little hand, "actually," he amended feeling Allie move, "amazing's more the word."

Max reflected, "It's hard to believe something so perfect came out of me."

His fingers brushed over hers and the other hand stroked her thigh, "Not that hard," he whispered against her head before his lips came down to place a kiss upon her head.

So incredibly foolish.

About everything.

" Logan, I," she began, time for the truth, time to finally say the words back.

"Hmm," he asked when she paused.

She tried to continue, but found the words wouldn't emerge. She improvised, "Thank you."

"Hmmm?" he murmured.

"Kinda lost it there," she shrugged.

Another kiss to the top of her head, "It's allowed," he smiled and gave her leg a quick squeeze.

-o-o-o-

"Nice to know Moneybags has at least one talent," Zack remarked walking into the kitchen sniffing the air, "aside from turning your brain to moosh."

"Don't start Zack," _seriously she'd just had a kid this morning, didn't that give her the night off._

"Just saying dinner smells good," he mocked innocence as he walked to the fridge.

"Zack," she warned again.

"What?" he turned with one of the cans of soda he'd picked up during their rest stop.

"Not tonight."

"Geez, you really have gone soft."

"Zack,"

"What fight am I interrupting now?" Logan asked walking into the room freshly damp from his shower.

-o-o-o-

"How much trouble do you think he's getting into?" Max asked as she reclined on Logan on the couch.

"He's a big boy Max, Zack can handle himself," he said brushing back a stray strand of hair.

"It's not Zack I'm worried about," she made a face and sighed.

Logan laughed, "Should I be getting the car packed? There's always my uncle's place."

She laughed, "Hopefully he'll be able to control himself for a few more days." She shifted so she could look up at him, "Matt really said they're leaving?"

"He said that's what it looked like," another brushing back of her hair. "My other sources confirm it. Part of their convoy was heading east. There's still a small unit in town."

She turned back, so she was once more comfortable in his arms, "Seems too easy."

Logan laughed, "Going into labor while you're hightailing it out of town? Giving birth in a cabin instead of that very nice, very sterile and full of drugs hospital suite we looked at?"

She thought about it for a moment, "Drugs would have been nice," she agreed rather wistfully.

Logan laughed again and stroked her arm.

She turned into it, "Just that we're actually going to get to go home…"

"Home will be nice," Logan gently smiled, "this isn't too shabby though."

"No," she smiled. Curled up with Logan on the couch, their daughter peacefully dozing in her carrier on the floor in front of them, her brother on halfway, semi decent behavior, "Not too shabby at all."

No questions rolling around her mind, everything at peace, everything settled. It was amazing and not at all as completely improbable as she once thought.

-o-o-o-

Leaving day, Seattle was safe once more; it was time to get back on with their lives and their almost two week old daughter. It also meant saying goodbye to Zack and once more refusing his offers to leave with him, finally telling him the truth she'd decided upon weeks ago seeing Logan with their daughter, truth she'd been keeping to herself for this very reason, this scene that was playing out before her.

"What the hell are you saying Maxie?"

"When I leave I'm not taking her with me."

"No," Zack shook his head as Max continued to look out the window watching Logan put their daughter in her car seat, he yanked her to face him, "I don't believe you. You're not just going to walk away from your kid."

"I've got to."

"No Max, we take Allison, we take her now."

"So she can spend her entire life on the run? Never getting to have real friends? Always waiting to be taken away and raised as a freak with no childhood? With Logan she'll be normal."

" Normal is highly overrated Maxie. She won't have her mother, did you miss that part of this little scenario. Allie won't have a mom."

"She'll have a dad." She turned to look again and realized Logan was no longer by the car.

The door swung open, "Max, you ready to go?"

"Yea," she nodded, "I'll see you Zack, thanks for all your help." She rose up and kissed her brother's cheek.

"Max," he called out after her as she reached the door.

She turned back, "I'll see you soon big brother."

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**Thanks for reading (and as always extra special thanks to those who review :-D) I hope you enjoyed.**


	55. Welcome Home

AN: Haha did not forget about this story. Okay well yes I did, but I always remember it eventually. I shall refrain from making any comments on it today since it has been gone for so long. :-P

**Thanks for reading!**

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**-o-o-o-o-o- **

**Chapter 55 **

**_Welcome Home _**

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

"Hey, hey," she soothed as she rubbed the baby's back. "It's okay we're almost there."

Logan at that point turned and gave her a look as she stood swaying with only their daughter in her arms and his…well contained everything and it was all allowed to drop aside from the laptop he had safely slung across his back. His bag, her bag, the baby's bag, the basinet he'd somehow managed to hook under one arm, the carrier she'd had until the baby had woken up in it and started crying and it had been passed along. The door now easily accessible swiftly opened with the key that was left still dangling in it as he turned the handle and he waved an arm as he stepped back a bit granting her access.

She sweetly and teasingly smiled as she stepped over their now strewed crap.

She listened to him toss their bags into the apartment as she headed into the living room. So distant and foreign after a life altering two weeks. They hadn't returned the same people they had left.

"Pete picked up the basics for us," Logan said finally arriving in the living room where she'd tucked herself into a corner of the couch and was feeding their daughter.

"Pete now there's a name I haven't heard in awhile," she looked up.

"I know," he said on a sigh and collapsed down next to her, taking a moment to run a hand along Allie's side before settling back.

"So is the lone cowboy ever going to ride again?" she asked.

He let out a puff of laughter before he shook his head in defeat, "It's not looking too promising at the moment."

"Never would have thought the day I met you, you'd become a suit."

"Yea," he agreed and moved his attention back to their nursing daughter, "I never thought it either….What can you do?" he asked looking up briefly with a shrug.

_Who are you and what did you do with the man in the window? _

"Looks like someone's tapering off," he said glancing down, "I'll go get her things."

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

**"**Where the hell have you been for two weeks?" Was her greeting as OC responded to her page by showing up in person.

Max looked down, she would have thought it kind of obvious.

Original Cindy's eyes changed as she followed her gaze. "You had the baby?"

"No my stomach magically disappeared, but she's still in there," Max replied with a cocked head. "A totally kick ass little girl. Allison Evelyn Cale."

"Explain to me why I'm standing here then and not being shown this kick ass kiddo."

"She's in the living room," Max laughed.

"Kendra's going to kill you," Original Cindy said making her way to the room. "_Leaving town for a bit_ left on an answering machine when you're just about ready to pop…Walter almost had to take out a missing persons report on you."

She paused, "He didn't though did he?"

"Stopped by CI," she turned, "you have any idea how hard it is for a messenger to get any information about one of the higher ups. Even Original Cindy's charms weren't working for it. Logan's cousin, Mark?"

Max nodded that her friend did indeed have the right name.

"Took pity on dear old Cindy and said you guys went out of town for some alone time before the kid arrived."

Max laughed, "Yea and we had a whopping five hours of it." She shook her head, "The kid has no sense of decency."

"Speaking of kid…" Cindy said with a nod towards the bassinet.

"Knock yourself out," she said with a smile.

"Damn Max," she said arriving at the bassinet and looking down. "You did good."

"Eh Logan helped a little."

"Nah this kid is all you," she smiled, " Logan's going to be bald and gray once she hits high school."

Max laughed.

A pounding on the door followed.

"Ten bucks says that's Kendra," Max said turning.

"Original Cindy isn't one to take a fools bet. That's definitely the pound of one real angry ex roomie."

**-o-o-o-o-o- **

She greeted him at the door a few days later.

He viewed her suspiciously since he could count on one hand how many times this had happened before.

"Does this mean whatever it was you were doing behind that door is done now?" he knocked his head to the side gesturing towards the guest room.

"Might be," she smiled, "guess you'll just have to check it out to find out for sure."

He gave a dubious smile and shake as he turned.

"Should I be scared?" he turned and asked with his hand on the knob.

"Just freakin open the door will you Logan?"

He laughed and did just that.

The outdoors had been brought in.

The walls had been painted a sky blue, clouds now scattered across the ceiling and tops of the walls. Trees, grass and plants graced the horizon and below. A brightly shining sun in the corner. Some scattered birds, a lone cow, a few fluffy sheep.

But that wasn't the end of the room, not only had the paneling been ripped off and replaced by kid-friendly paint, the furniture had been changed. Light oak now replaced it. Crib, dresser, bookcase, changing table, rocking chair, there was even a single higher table filled with plants against the window. High enough to keep the leaves out of any exploring baby's hands and mouths.

He stepped into the room a little further still in shock and looked into the crib. Fluffy little sheep danced on a mobile above the farm scene on the blanket.

"You can't see it now," Max's bubbley voice pulled him out of his shock, "but when the lights go out the ceiling is littered with stars.

"You did all this?" he asked turning.

"Me and Kendra," she smiled, "those squares are seriously the biggest bitch ever. Whoever decorated your apartment should be murdered."

He smiled.

She grew a little more serious, "I want her to see everything out there, to know that it's within her reach, I don't ever want her to feel trapped Logan."

"She won't," he promised as only a father could and took a step in closer to Max.

"So do you like it?" she asked as his fingers threaded through her hair.

He nodded. "It's amazing," he followed up with a few seconds later.

She smiled.

"Cow might get lonely though," he joked.

"Yea well that's his own fault," she said looking up into the eyes of her lover, the father of her daughter, "he shouldn't have been so difficult to draw."

He smiled again and held her gaze. "What does this mean Max?" he finally asked after a few moments of silence.

She swallowed hard, "I want to live in the present Logan. I don't want to worry about what's going to come…"

He nodded briefly before his lips found hers thanking her for finally giving them a chance.

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**_Have you checked out the Blah, Blah, Woof, Woof Forum yet? _**


	56. Too Good to Last

**AN: Welcome new reader! And as always welcome back old ones. :-P Thanks for the great reviews last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as well! Thanks for reading!**

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**Chapter 56**

**_Too Good to Last_**

**-o-o-o-o-o-**

It was all too good to last. She was reminded of it her every waking moment.

She watched as those final little bits of his guard started to fall and ached for the pain she knew she'd cause him.

She had two choices though: pain or regrets. She chose the pain.

It validated her, them. Proved that all the insanity that had come before and the pain that would follow was worth it. _They had been worth it._

The little girl she watched grow everyday and become aware of her surroundings. Watched and finally understood parents as they wanted to take out a full page ad over every milestone that seemed insignificant to everyone else.

Every pound, every smile, every cry simply for attention. That amazing day she watched as her daughter pushed up on her arms for the first time.

The delight both father and daughter got in that first moment of reuniting in the evening.

The sheer ecstatic joy she received from not only watching their reunion, but having one of her own. Everyday he came home to her was another day to happily be stored away in her memory.

The in-depth greeting she'd receive if their daughter happened to still be asleep.

Happier than anyone she'd ever met before. If it weren't for that nagging fear that continued to weigh down her heart she was pretty sure it would have burst from pure joy or float out of her body, unable to be contained.

"Hmm," she said flipping over the side of the couch and flopping down as the camera snapped forever immortalizing the mighty Logan Cale looking straight at her up on his arms as if ready to do a push up as their daughter was pushed up on her forearms looking at the babbling idiot that was her father.

He grinned.

"Now," she said waving the camera, "the question is do I post this in the kitchen of your office or give it to your secretary for a mass email to everyone that works there?"

"What Max?" he asked with a smile, "Never seen a man do a push up before?" he proceeded to do a few.

"Uh yea," she nodded, "not in a suit."

He fell to the floor and propped himself up on his forearms to check out their offspring who had a slight gurgle of amusement for him before she too hit the floor cushioned by the soft blanket he'd put down.

He had her scooped into his arms in a now seated position before the tears that threatening to spill ever got a chance. "Hey, no tears for my pretty little girl," he consoled and grabbed the soft lady bug that had been resting with them on the floor bringing it close to her to grab.

Another picture.

He looked over with a tender smile and she wondered if maybe her heart would split in two from the highs and lows it was able to simultaneously reach. _How would she ever live without them? _she thought as she took in the tanned forearms holding their daughter in her white coveralls with purple stars.

She'd have fallen for him even in the suit, the white rolled up sleeves, the top button undone, tie long since discarded and the gray of his slacks that were ended by another flash of flesh that were his bare feet. No interest in changing, not when it meant he would miss precious minutes with their daughter.

The sight of them together made the first sight of him pale in comparison.

"How long they'd say until dinner got here?" she asked standing no longer able to deal with her thoughts and the flood of emotions threatening to be unleashed.

"Um," he said looking over at the clock, "another twenty minutes?"

"Maybe you should start winding her down now?" she asked smiling as she went to pick up a few stray toys.

"Hey," he asked as he lifted her up higher in his arms, "you ready for your nap so the grown ups can eat?"

She gave him a gummy smile as the lady bug neared her mouth.

He gave her a bright smile, "Seems like you're ready for some dinner," he gently coaxed the bug away from her mouth and found a pacifier sliding into Allie's mouth without having to ask for one.

"I think your daddy over-stimulated you today," Max smiled as she lifted the little girl away. She cuddled her daughter close to her as Logan stood, "Didn't he know we already had our workout today?"

"You can never be too physically fit," Logan gave a knowing nod as he took Allie back.

**-o-o-o- **

She set the table as she craned her ears to hear the low lullaby Logan was humming to Allie as he rocked her to sleep. It was their ritual and one she didn't intrude on despite how much she'd rather her daughter never leave her arms.

Bonding time was crucial and the period of play followed by the shorter downtime that followed were critical in Logan unwinding and once more slipping into the role of the man she loved and not the exec.

She turned on the tv to the evening news, never really sure what to do with herself during this downtime when her life was normally so preoccupied with their daughter. Nothing ever really managed to capture her attention when she knew she'd rather be a room over and she'd given up trying.

She lasted a while. Long enough for a decent amount of bonding to get in.

Logan standing over the crib simply staring down as the sheep bounced around next to him on the mobile.

She slid up next to him and wrapped her arms around one of his as they looked down at her closed lids and her little lips still working the pacifier.

"Dinner," he whispered a few minutes later as the intercom buzzed.

She frowned as they disengaged and readjusted the green sheet covering Allie and smoothed out the already flattened strands of their daughter's dark hair before turning to follow Logan.

** -o-o-o-o-o-o- **

The next afternoon:

She swallowed hard as she hit end on the phone and gripped her daughter tighter as they stood together in the dining room.

She took a deep breath and dialed.

"Hey," her voice held a chipper tone so contrary to what she was feeling

"Hey how's the little momma doing?" Kendra's relaxed voice asked.

"Wishing I had ten arms at the moment, you busy?"

"No, my kids just left."

"Any chance you can watch Allie for a few hours while I run some errands?"

"Are you kidding? Baby-sit my favorite little godbaby? Bring the cutie pie over,"

"An hour sound good to you?"

"I'll be waiting.

A surge of pain shot up through her as she hung up the phone for the second time today and she just barely stopped herself from doubling over from the anguish that tore through her.

Tomorrow was today.

She couldn't hide from it anymore.

She set about quickly packing a diaper bag and folding up the portable playpen all while holding her daughter, refusing to part with her a single second earlier than necessary. Her own bag was packed with the same haste and efficiency.

She paused in that small sectioned off area of the penthouse that Logan had once seemed to live and breathe in and with the same hand that had done everything else in that short amount of time wrote a note.

_Allie's at Kendra's. _

_If I could have, I would have stayed forever. Make sure she knows that. _

_Always, _

_Max_

"It's going to be okay Baby Girl," she said kissing those dark locks as the tears welled up in her eyes pausing for only one final moment as she left the apartment before scooping up everything and heading towards the elevator eyes closing in pain as she hit the button for the garage.


	57. Bitter Homecoming

**New chap three months later...**

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**Chapter 57**

**_Bitter Homecoming_**

**-o-o-o-o-o-**

She hadn't expected a lot from her life.

She'd had two hopes until the day she dropped through Logan's window. One was to avoid Manticore and two was to be with her family again.

But as she walked up to Zack, her bike safely stashed in between two buildings as she hopped the fence instead of looking for a way in or instead drawing attention to herself by making her own way in. She became aware of two entirely different things.

The first was this stranger glaring at her wasn't her family. The second was hopes and dreams had developed when she hadn't been expecting them and they were all hidden within the picture-less locket that hung around her neck, but dared not touch in a sign of weakness in front of him.

"You left the kid?"

"Figured you'd be pleased since a kid would only slow me down," the hard voice almost made her cringe, she'd been a mother for too long, her voice was meant to be soft or speaking in wisps of motherese until she realized she was doing it and sheepishly stopped.

"Just as long as you know better than to try to go back," he said still leaning against his bike.

"I know," she nodded.

"Sure fire way to get them killed Maxie," he nodded.

"I said I know Zack."

"I'm giving you one last opportunity and I'll go back and get her for you, you say no now then there's no going back."

_What the hell was his deal? Ranting and raving about Case and Charlie and now he's telling me to do the opposite of what he told Tinga? _" Logan can give her more than I can."

"Except her mother," he coolly looked at her.

"He's her father," her daughter was doomed to have only one parent, at least with Logan she could have a normal life and Logan wouldn't be left with the gaping whole she felt within her now.

Zack looked at her, words obviously on tip of his tongue, but instead it was bit back. "So long as you're sure, lil' sis," and pushed away from his bike, "where's your ride?"

-o-o-o-

She'd expected him to go.

Hell she hadn't expected him to meet her, but once he had she expected him to go once she proved to him she wouldn't hop on her bike and hightail it back to Seattle the first chance she got.

He stuck around though and spent large chunks of his day doing his best to entertain her, distract her from what she'd left behind.

His nights spent chasing her down the darkened streets, or hustling pool before sleeping on edge waiting to hear a creak and spring into action.

She did her best to hide the agony of being away from Logan and Allie. She'd stare sometimes at the mothers with their babies or kids playing out in the street, realizing that the day would come where she probably wouldn't be able to recognize her daughter if she passed her on the street. So she did her best to keep her gaze fixed, like a horse with blinders, she refused to take in the world around her.

There was a baby though in the dive they were crashing in. Zack's dive. It wasn't much, a mattress with a few blankets, two pillows that looked like and smelled like they'd been around since the Pulse. A couch and an arm chair with only one arm. A few bits and pieces in the kitchen. All things that had been left behind by its previous squatter. Aside from the sound of the baby in the apartment two floors below that could only be heard in the still of the night.

She sat up on that one remaining arm as her eyes craned to see the moon wondering if Logan was up and pacing with Allie as he looked out or trying to rock her to sleep as he looked out into the sky. Or wondering if everything was calm and he was blankly staring at the work he'd brought home with him, being numbed by the sudden change in his life until he'd remember to just dive in and pretend as if she'd never existed.

Her heart broke as she remembered trying to smile and not cry as she dropped Allie off, she was pretty sure she'd done a decent job at it because Kendra hadn't asked any questions. Pulling back into the building's garage and grabbing her bag from the trunk before tugging off the rarely moved cover from her bike and tossing it in the garbage by the elevators not wanting to leave the reminder of it/of her in the car as she normally did.

He must have pulled up confused to see her bike missing in the middle of the day. He must have rationalized it to himself, convinced himself he was overreacting and then he would have walked into that empty apartment and found the note.

She wondered how long he'd keep her things. Keep the pictures of her out. Wondered what he'd tell her friends, his family…Wondered how he'd raise Allie on his own…

"I can still get her Max," Zack's voice tore her out of her thoughts and her eyes snapped away from the window and she realized the baby was still crying downstairs.

Her head shook and she suddenly found herself blinking away tears she'd been unaware of.

"Stop being so goddamn stubborn Max," he stormed closer to her.

"My daughter's safety matters more than the fact that I miss her."

"We can keep her safe, go somewhere with less high-tech checkpoints and we lay low, leave the bikes behind and everything else."

_We? _

That word made her curious. "What about everyone else?" Their sibs, was he offering to walk away from them for her.

"They've had eleven years to learn how to stay out of trouble. We all know how to stay away from Manticore."

"It's not that easy."

"Because we choose for it not to be. There's a part of us in all of us that wants them to find us…"

_How could he… _

"We'd get to stop running, stop being scared, the wait would be over. We all expect to go back there Maxie."

She stared at her brother framed in the moonlight as he sat high up on the couch watching her.

"We can choose like Tinga chose, like more than a few of them chose we just have to stop everything else and we can stay safe. The fear's never going to go away Max, but we can make it."

She sat staring, intrigued by her brother's words, she'd thought them before, she'd tried it before, but it was hard, harder than it should have been.

_"We're never going to get to stop running Maxie. Normal lives don't work out for us." _

_"Have you ever even tried to have one?" she angrily asked _

_"Once…Didn't last for long." _

She remembered her brother's fateful words the day her daughter had been created. "Who was she Zack?"

He stiffened for that. "Wasn't the person Max, it was the idea of her," he answered.

"So what you want to play house with me and my kid to make up for it? Are we your do-over? No thanks Zack."

"Max," his head shook, "I didn't mean it like that," his voice took on a harsher edge.

"I don't care how you meant it," she stood, "my daughter is safe and happy in Seattle with her father and that's where she's staying so either you stop talking about it or I'm bailing."

"You're going to regret this one day," he easily jumped into a standing position so she had to look up.

"I have a feeling I'm going to regret a lot of things Zack, but keeping my little girl safe," _and saving Logan from this pain, _"isn't one of them."

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**Thanks to all those who R&R. **


	58. The Past Returns

**AN: **Hmm what to say, what to say…Hello to new reader? And any new readers that join the story at this chapter.

Hmm man, was this story really last updated in June? Okay so yea that packing, unpacking, packing again, unpacking again, really takes up a chunk of time. :-P

No Logan this chapter, I apologize, this is a Max story, so no swaying over to Logan until Max is with Logan again, that is if Max is ever with Logan again…

If this story keeps you guys interested then it should be completed soon (No more than a dozen chapters left, probably less). You know how I am with the reviews deciding what chapter should be up next, unless it's Attempts (which always seems to get written when I'm bored) or Embedded (because it's out to get me:-P). However at the moment Embedded is the next story up for posting for those who are interested.

Thanks for reading…Hope it doesn't bore you!

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**Chapter 58**

_The Past Returns _

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"Rise and shine Maxie," Zack's voice pulled her out of a rare sleep.

Her eyes blinked, still dark, "What's going on?" she asked pushing herself up on the couch she'd been stretched out on.

"Krit's in trouble we gotta go."

_Odd,_ she thought,_ 'we' once more. _

"What happened?" she asked jumping to her feet.

"Some trouble with the local law, swears at least ten of them jumped him in the bar."

"Where's local?" she asked as the maroon boxers that had once belonged to Logan slid off of her before she tugged on a pair of jeans.

"Demuth," Zack nodded as he proceeded to toss his things into a bag.

"What are you doing? We've gotta blaze if we're going to make it there before Lydecker. The guy was there in a matter of hours when I was arrested."

He turned, "Krit had the common sense to remove his barcode. So pack everything you want to keep, we've been here long enough might as well move on. I don't want to hear you complain about missing one of **his** shirts, which by the way are starting to stink so you might want to consider washing them."

If she washed them, they wouldn't smell like him. "Don't blame your apartment's stench on me, pretty sure that's been a steady since before me."

"You about done?" he asked as he slung his bag over his back.

"Let me hit the head and I'm good," she nodded.

"What the hell having a kid destroy your bladder?"

"More along the lines of peeing on the side of the road is a little more inconvenient to us of the opposite gender, can't just whip it out if you haven't noticed."

"Have showered naked with you Max," he replied in normal Zack, not exactly funny humor.

o

oOo

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"On the road again, can't wait to get back on the road again," Zack sang as he was peeing into a bush, while Max remained straddling her bike.

_Why had she ever looked for them? _once more flashed through her mind. "Yea me neither, so you think you can get a move on already?"

"Oh come on Krit could use a little time out to think about what he's done…Almost twelve years, you think he'd have developed some common sense."

"Fight was over a woman?" Max asked dryly.

"It always is with Krit," he shook his head as he started walking back towards her.

"Hard to imagine Krit like that," she frowned, "he's still just a little kid in my head."

Zack chuckled, "Don't worry, he hasn't changed much. He shaves once a week. They always fall for the sweet kid routine, people want to take care of him. Syl chalks it up to the gay friend scenario, he's totally non-threatening-"

"Until they wind up in the sack with him?"

"Yea obviously Syl's theory has a few flaws," he smirked before tossing his helmet back on.

o

oOo

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"I want you to stay here," Zack said as they ducked their bikes into an alley two blocks away from the jail.

"I don't think so," was all she responded with.

"This isn't up for debate," he said shaking his head.

"No shit because I'm not sitting on the sidelines," she said moving to tuck her bike out of view.

"Max, we don't have time to do recon and figure out where there are cameras."

"Not like Manticore doesn't already know my face," her head shook.

"For once I'm not worried about Manticore, something goes wrong, they realize we're involved with Krit pulling a disappearing act your face is going to be plastered across the news. Remind me again, isn't your baby's daddy pretty high up there on the food chain, everyone he knows has satellite or cable…Your face across the morning news?"

_Her face across the news, calls phoned in, Lydecker would have Allie in his arms by dinner time. _

Her face fell.

"You want to keep your kid safe, you need to learn to stop and think. Defying me for the sake of defying me isn't going to fly out here Max. This isn't a training mission, this is our life, your kid's life, your ex's," the strength and conviction behind his eyes showed her the ramifications of his actions were always with him, always in his mind, he thought, he planned things out, he didn't simply react like she did.

She nodded, "I'll see if I can find a deserted computer, get Krit out of the system."

"Keep your gloves," he nodded back.

"No shit," she nodded back.

o

oOo

o

A whistle greeted her as they approached less than a half hour later. The frame next to Zack's much slighter, more feminine or maybe youthful was the proper term in its lankiness. "Damn nevermind, we definitely have DNA in common," he said with his face moving into sight. "You never going to mention that Zack?" he asked their brother with a slap on the back before rushing towards Max to scoop her into his arms. "Holy shit Max, I thought you were a goner."

"Still not a big fan of cold showers," she said marveling at his strength as he continued to hold her up. She had for so long been the strongest one, she was finally with others like her, she had almost forgotten what it was like to have an equal in that field.

"We figured that after Dallas, no one had a clue where you went after Nashville, that reminds me you got a thing for country music we should know about?"

She had a confused frown on her face as he put her back down.

"The hospital got your blood in Dallas and they got your fingerprints off your apartment in Nashville, after you got busted in that mansion," Zack's voice filled the air.

_She hadn't gotten busted in the mansion, though she had been dumb enough to not realize there was a maid still in the house and had to take off. Dallas hadn't been her fault either, it was that freakin idiot driving next to her, who decided to put his car into the side of her bike because he decided to turn without looking. _"The maid saw me?" she asked.

"The maid saw the back of your head going out the window, the second story window Max."

_Damn, she thought she'd been faster. _

"So how'd they get my prints?" she lived on the opposite side of town, they couldn't have possibly figured that out from the back of your head.

"You made friends Max," he said it as if it were a disease. "You take off in the middle of the night friends worry, they tell their brother, whose a cop. They dust your place looking for evidence of foul play because not only is the brother a cop, but the dad was a cop too. At the same time they already have a 'woman flying out a second story window' in their system. Can you put two and two together Max?"

"Two and two might be beyond me," she said turning, "my fist and your jaw, now that's another story."

"Did I miss something?" Krit asked looking between the two formerly close siblings.

"Eleven years," was her only answer to that.


End file.
